Monday, September 5, 2011

Super Blog Fail

(PS-- [at the top of the page. whatever] Tried to post this last night, seeing as it's about last night but blogger wanted to have a pity party and pout in a corner all by it's I left it. So here's my story about yesterday)

Screw Disney "College Program".
This is freaking BOOT CAMP. Boot camp that doesn't have the satisfaction of actually being called "boot camp". I'm tellin' ya, challenge me to an arm wrestle in January and YOU WILL BE PWNED. Epically. But of course you won't because that would be terribly humiliating for you. It's ok. I understand.
But seriously. Muscles--burning. I just need to start doing situps with the racks of glass cups over my head. Then I'll be set for life.

Anyway. Speaking of life, it keeps getting progressively weirder the longer I stay in this screwed-up state (Sorry, JT. Don't mean to be dissin' but....seriously. It's funky here). Let's run through my day, shall we?

I WENT TO CHURCH!! [insert happy face]
I DIDN'T PLAY THE PIANO!! [insert depression of the utmost degree] Turns out the ward I plan on attending (because I am not, NOT people, not going to be hangin' out with all the cali singles) is held at the stake center which is really difficult for stupid people to find. Stoopid such as myself. So I ended up riding my bike for at least a mile more than I meant to. In my dress. Cuz I'm stoopid.
Basically, something about my super charming and awesome personality threw Google maps WAY off and it totally led me astray.
Curse you, google maaaaps!! /shakes-fist
I went south when I shoulda gone north.....about half a mile. The road I was thinking the church was on just kinda....ended. I got off my bike, starting to get all sweaty and tired and stared at the big building that blocked my way.
Turned around and there was--Oscar.
Who is Oscar, might you ask? Well, I shall tell you imaginary-inquisitive-person. Oscar is the extremely friendly, consequently creepy mexican fellow biker that I met this morning. Here's how that experience went:
[turns around] Oh! A person! goodness, didn't even know he was there.....
Stranger-with-thick-accent: Hai! You ride bicycle?
Me: Uh, yeah, haha.....
WHY does this keep happening to me?!
Stranger: What s'your name?
Crapcrapcrapcrap....uhhhh /uncomfortable-with-situation
Me: Um, Hope....
[Look from stranger like he just swallowed a bug and didn't understand how it got inside his mouth...]
Me: Er, Esperanza?
[Lightbulb for stranger]
Stranger: Ahh! Esperanza! Me llamo es Oscar
Oh no. Don't start spouting spanish. Please oh please...
Oscar: You ride bicycle?
Me: Yeah, I'm trying to find church.
(Apparently language barriers makes my english take a steep plummet into terrible)
Oscar: Oh? Wheech wh-one?
Me: Um, LDS?
(I also only speak in questions)
[Oscar swallows another bug]
Me: ...Mormon...
[choking on bug]
Oscar: You Chreestian?
Me: Yeah.
Oscar: Ahh, I catholic.
(Except he says it so fast it sounds like cathleek)

At this point I'm done caring about Oscar and his religious beliefs and he's kinda creepin' me out and I'm wondering if he's ever gonna leave.
So I pull out my phone and call boyfriend.
Oscar kept on talkin' and I just went on walkin'. He ended up disappearing at some point. I was too busy listening to exact directions of how I went so awfully wrong from boyfriend, who is much better at google maps and all things techy than I am (I'm a music major, he's a data technician for godaddy. Am I really to blame?).
EVENTUALLY, I found the church building (and the walmart directly across the street...). Went inside and found myself surrounded by tongans and old couples.
This ward is gonna be awesome!! I'm actually really excited. It was fast sunday so I got a good taste of what the people are like. All the people who introduced themselves to me automatically knew I was a disney intern, which I found funny.
Went back home, took a quick nap then headed to work from 6:30-1:30am
First of all, I had one bus stop buddy. A homeless hoarder man who constantly drooled into his lap and stared at me over the top of his sunglasses....
[insert anxious bouncy leg and quick furtive glances down the road, praying for the bus to appear]
Once the bus finally did appear, I had to laugh. Out loud. On the screen that displays the route number and cross streets headed to, it also would flash "I'm here for you".
What the heck kinda message is that?! Either it's super cheesy and tacky, or incredibly creepy and morbid! But, I laughed. Cuz it was funny.
Further down the road, we passed a hotel and the nice perfectly manicured lawns/shrubbery that accompany nice places such as these.....
Lying on the grass, was a man, totally zonked out, sleeping with his head propped up on his backpack. That made me giggle too, and then I noticed the sprinklers that were wetting down the other patch of grass and wished that I could just camp out at the curb and watch for when the system switched over to where Mr. Snooze-pants lay. I wished quite badly.
AT work, I may have mentioned that I'm one of very few girls assigned to Main Kitchen. I'm constantly working with guys my age, and older men. Which is fine by me, doesn't make a difference whatsoever in how I work, but them? I can't tell if they're trying to be chivalrous or just simply show off.
I was scrubbing down some pans handed to me by Uri (oo-ree), tossing them into the rinse tub when Adam got back from his break (Adam is the short-built-attractive kid who drove me home).
He immediately asks, "Need to switch out or anything, Hope?"
I snorted and simply said, "I'm fine."
Really? Really? I'm scrubbing pans. It's not like I'm hauling away, pick-axing at a mine shaft in a stuffy cave with poisonous air filling my lungs. I half wanted to retort, "Look, we're in a kitchen. That's my terrain anyway, isn't it??"
But he was just being nice. I just hate feeling like I gotta prove I can keep up with the "big, strong men" with my lowly "wimpy" woman arms. Dumb.
Then there was this funny moment where all three of us were in the groove of pot room; Adam would spray down the dishware, Uri would scrub and I'd rinse/sanitize/stack and put away. Uri really got into the swing of things and was a washing machine. But at one point he handed off this pan with a little present inside; the rough, green scrubber. He swung back to the next dirty pan like a robot and his hand automatically went to where his brain said the scrubber should be but I watched as there was that moment of complete confusion when it wasn't there. I tossed it back over and he looked up in surprise and laughed.
Nice, friendly kid.
We'll see if I actually connect with anybody while I'm out here. As of yet, I don't really care much.
Anyway. Um, now I'm home and blogging and it's after 3 am. My neck hurts, my feet are cold and my eyelids are sagging. Hopefully the next two days go quickly so I can go see World of Color on wednesday and thursday! Woohoo!!

Life is good :) <3


  1. Three Things

    1. Consider the Challenge Issued. and Lest you feel that I will be chivilrious and allow you to win appoint day in yon January, Know this. I shall not sleep an INSTANT Till my arms are the size of cocnuts and my muscles are tried of carry around their muscles!!! .... Or I will just keep doing what I'm doing and hope I still win.... Either One.

    2. None Taken, Your on the coast. Those coastal people are a queer folk....

    3. I am starting to think that "World of Color" was created so that Disney interns didn't lose their mind....

  2. Three Answers

    1) ....we shall see, my friend. We. shall. see.

    2) oh good. I get the weird side. Figures.

    3) I am thinking "World of Color" was a blessing from heaven. Which could technically be construed as true since the absolute GENIUS' that came up with it got such brilliant ideas from the marvelous brain the good Lord gave 'em x] haha