Saturday, September 10, 2011

Pros and Cons

Blue Bayou is closed for renovations....here are my thoughts.

PRO:

  • The flow of things to wash has been cut down by about three-fourths.
  • People are a whole lot more pleasant due to previous fact.
  • Thusly, life is nice.
  • And I like nice life.
CON
  • I'MMA BE SO LAZY FOR CHRISTMAS!! 
This is bad. This is really, really bad guys! But it's so nice at the same time. I don't get soggy shoes and I don't feel like I have arthritis in my poor abused fingers and I don't splash food junk/soapy suds in my face for the majority of my shift...but once Bayou opens again in a couple months and we're right in the middle of peak season for stinking Halloween/Christmas LIFE WILL BE PAINFUL.
It will not be my most favorite ever.
Speaking of not favorite.
See, there's this guy. He's not that great. But when he talks about himself (which is constantly [I wish I was kidding]), you'd think there was a statue somewhere monumenting the awesomeness that is this dude. He's in custodial and I only see him around the bus cuz he works DCA and I'm underneath Dland all day. 
And that's all too often in my book.
The first thing I ever heard this kid say is, "I'm in such a destructive mood today!" and when all three of us standing around beside him gave him this o.O look, he continued, "I just wanna go around and smash everything."
Me and the other girl laughed, in a "oh, look you're being tough, we'll laugh and appease your pathetic little ego" way.
But then he says, "Like, I wanted to fight a mountain lion yesterday."
Um, excuse me, what??
"I was at the beach and there was a mountain lion there and I totally wanted to go up and fight it."
First of all; dude. Chill. There's no need to go aggravating the poor kitty.
Secondly; what exactly would that prove? A) you're stupid B) you're stupid and C) you have an apparent lack of self-esteem to compensate for.
I'm allowed to make that assumption because from that moment I met him onward that is how every conversation has gone. 
"I didn't mean to cut my hair this short but it's ok. I can pull it off."
"There's not one kind of person I don't get along with....well, except for one type of male. The ones that see me as competition."
"I'm very good at innuendos," um, congrats? I am, too. Big deal, "they're actually a very good tool. I tell that to every guy that comes to me for relationship advice."
"I always don't think I can cook, but then I surprise myself. You ever take a bite of something and don't want to continue eating it because it's....almost painfully blissful?"
"I used to be a very good swimmer. Better than most of the 'swim team'. But I don't really like water."
You don't like water? What the heck does that even mean??
"This girl was so mad at me last night. We played catchphrase and I'm known as the king of catchphrase back where I come from..."
"I don't wear long sleeves until it's at least 40 degrees or below..."
"I have a large nose, but it doesn't bother me."
Um, then why did you mention it?
"Everyone always remembers my name."
It's David and, sorry. That was a lucky guess on my part. So :P thlbhplghtphlh
He's a rugby player, if that helps picture the situation any.

I could go on. and on. and on. (PS--those are real actual quotes. I am not exaggerating or barely even paraphrasing). This kid is made of pure testosterone and ego. It's sickening. I snorted at one point, after his innuendo advice comment, and he caught on that I was scoffing at him....obviously he didn't appreciate it much. 
I said next to nothing the entire bus ride home tonight. He didn't seem fazed at all. He always had one more tidbit about his awesome self to pull up and talk about for the next couple minutes and I was just entertained by the fact that he thought I was interested. And I listened to my Breaking Benjamin and Muse through the one earbud and nodded every once in awhile, sometimes laughing.
Every time I did say something he'd go, "What was that?" but I felt like he was really saying, "What? I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am...."

Except there isn't any awesome to be seen. 
Basically, the entire time was just /FACEPALM. Dude, give it a rest. No one cares.

Narcissism. It's a freaking BIG problem.

1 comment:

  1. Bahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

    Bahahahahahahahahaha!!!

    ReplyDelete