Thursday, June 27, 2013

Birthday Gift 2013

(If you're my husband, AVERT YER EYES LADS! 
But srsly dude, don't read this post plz)

You'll love Shutterflys award-winning photo books. Try it today.

Shutterfly is weird.
This is my first time making a whole book through them and as much as I loved it, there were lots of frustrations and annoyances. But! They did let me post the book to this blog (that Mark hardly ever reads but as you probably noticed I included a warning). Although, I added a "description" with the post but obviously that isn't here. Only their shameless plug made it onto the blog. 
So now I'm descripting!
(I know it's describing, calm your bloomers)
I made this photo book for Mark's birthday coming up in July of some of the adventures we've had in our relationship. I'm pretty happy with the result and I just gotta share it with somebody! Can't wait the 3 weeks or so till his birthday.
So if ya care...
Enjoy :)

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Because a barrage is better than a trickle....

I've noticed I'm putting an inordinate amount of statuses (why can't it be 'statusi', that is a much more enjoyable word) on Facebook because, well the hilarity just keeps coming and it must be shared (hint: sarcasm). So I decided today I wasn't gonna clog up the summer news feed and just leave open a blog draft, adding in my quips of the day as they come.
You're welcome.

8:19 Doing the same five step process anywhere over fifteen times in a row first thing in the morning is just asking for disaster. Clean-up aisle Brain, please?

9:54 The easiest way to tell how interested and/or dedicated I am to something is the length of time it takes for the webpage to load. "Oh, hm an article on the Senate and NSA and stuff <click>.......[loading] never mind." Waiting for Senor Gif however, I can spare a minute or two of waiting.
Priorities. You're doing them wrong.

I feel I shouldn't just leave that one hanging. The radio alone does a good enough job of enlightening me to the real, legitimate (albeit horrifying) news and my husband is an avid NPR listener so we talk a good amount about these things that are going on in our society today. Just...FYI before anybody goes cray-cray on me. Just laugh and give me the benefit of the doubt that I'm not as stupid as I make myself out to be.


I turned into a marketing intern for a couple hours here and these were my series of thoughts;
"I have been entrusted with the almighty guillotine....who made that decision?"
"Well sure, I guess, lemme just rearrange my entire desk here to fit this project in..."
"How many pages can I do at a time? Wow, not even three? That's disappointing."
"PAPERCUT!! False alarm, it's fine. We're good." I feel like the second a papercut happens it's the worst nondangerous pain we humans know and almost immediately it's okay but the panic remains. Almost like you expect to look down and find your hand sporting only four fingers. So that happened. Not the finger lossage, just the panic.
"I guess maybe I should care that I'm half humming half mumble-singing along to pandora with my one earbud in but it's just impossible to NOT sing harmony with the likes of Christina Perri, Regina Spektor, and so forth."
"Sometimes songs come up that aren't exactly what I'd expect from a particular station, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna thumbs down 'That's What Makes You Beautiful' between Linkin Park and Breaking Benjamin." That's an unfortunate exaggeration, what a glorious moment that would be if that happened. But that song does come up on my Christina Perri station and I have to admit, it's a bit of a guilty pleasure tune for me. 

3:33 "What is going to happen to my life when I run out of talk shows to watch on youtube? Who am I kidding, endless youtube funnel of interview happiness!!"
Speaking of which, just finished watching a clip of RDJ and Jude Law doing an interview together and the bromance is just heartwarming. 

I hope that's the right video. I don't know if that drag photo is for real but apparently Jude can pull off any gender.

3:44 "CURSE YOU INTERNET EXPLORER. I didn't wanna do any work anyway. Booooo."

Well, it's almost closing time. I hate blogging from my phone so I guess that wraps up this dumb post. I don't know about you, dear reader, but all I've gleaned from this experience is that I'm much more terribly addicted to social media than I previously believed. And I knew it was bad.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Preposterous I Say!

I just read an extremely wrong and offensive (in a very light meaning of the word) buzzfeed article and I mean to address it. For reference, you can find the piece of literature trash here. Go, and be as sorely disappointed with the list as I am.
If you are too lazy and don't wish to follow my convenient link, in short, some pastey white man in a dark, dank basement with no sense of film appreciation spouted a preposterous list of "10 Disney Films you totally forgot about". And it struck such an opposing chord within me that I feel the need to speak out against his horrid slander.
He is, of course, entitled to his own (*cough*slandery) opinion but I certainly did not forget about roughly 80% of these movies so up yours pastey white basement man! (I have no idea this mans living conditions nor do I have any insight into his appearance other than a tiny thumbnail of the back of his head and a sliver of face included in the article) (but that's what I picture) (carry on).

Numero Uno;

Actually, I'll give him this one. Most people really don't know much about this movie. But I sincerely love it and the dark, twisty slant on it is/was one of the parts that drew me to it. It's different, it's unique, it's much more fantastically real than some of the more classic Disney movies. It's grim and delightful and Gurgi is a little ray of sunshiney inspiration.
But it is not forgotten!


Basil was one of those animated, un-human characters that I developed some inexplicable, possibly psychologically-unstable crushes on as a kid. (also included in that list, Simba from Lion King) (don't know why I feel the need to include the movie in there, there aren't too many Simbas...)
He admits that the movie doesn't really have many flaws but that it just wasn't recognized by the audiences when it came out. It has great heart and a dastardly villain with a surprisingly relatable "human" hero. Not human as in homo sapien but rather "real" and "flawed". Plus, the gears-in-the-clock fight scene is quite the heart pounder.


/ahem, sooo...I've actually never seen this movie. cringe. It's bad, I know! I can't say anything for this movie other than I love puppies and kitties and I hear the musical "Oliver" stinks to high heaven (from the orchestra's perspective). Also, it seems reminiscent to "All Dogs Go To Heaven", another "forgotten movie" that I happen to love most ardently.
So. Merp for oliver.


My dear, good, kind are just so WRONG about this movie!! I mean GUH! In my own, humble opinion this "tepid" sequel is better than the original Rescuers! Penny's cute and all but Medusa and her dumb  alligators got nothing on McLeach and Joanna.
I mean honestly now...

My husband and I practically use quotes from this movie as an actual language to each other. Mostly from Frank the lizard but whatever. I digress.


Aaaahhhh, phooey. I mean, this wasn't the best thing ever I'll admit. But I have a distinct memory from years ago when we lived in Utah, leaping about in the snow with my sisters in our swimming suits imitating the jumping lemurs. He does have a point however, with the over-attention paid to the animation and the plot/characters suffering a bit because of it. So...I'll allow it.


I cannot convey to you how my poor heart sank when I saw this movie on the list. I mentioned it on facebook and I'mma say it again, but I literally watch this movie every couple months at least. I hold it so near and dear to my heart along with the original Fantasia that is JUST as fantastic for other reasons. Perhaps it's my double-whammy nerd-dom of all things Disney as well as orchestra music but I kid you not I cry tears of joy uninhibited multiple times during this movie so Mr. Poop Reviewer can just stuff his face into a thick pile of steaming dung and leave it there.


Mole. Kidagashmaga. "I swim good, pretty girl, pretty good! Pretty good, I swim pretty good." Leonard Nimoy. "You got anything sporty? Like a tuna?" Michael J. Fox. Professor Whitmore doing yoga. "Kitty. I'm home." Everything Milo says and does. The ending. The flight-fight sequence. Rourke's terrifying transformation. Everything about this movie is so wonderful. I don't understand their argument anyway, the animation is fine and nothing short of what we've all come to expect from Disney but it doesn't overshadow the story/characters like it did in "Dinosaur". I call cop-out redundant excuse and only the best people haven't forgotten this movie.


"Can it. You little liar. (explanation)" B.E.N. is the best thing about this movie aside from Morph...and Dr. Doppler (David Hyde Pierce? I mean COME ON!)...and the soundtrack....and Joseph Freaking Gordon-Levitt. And Cap'n Amelia's boots! Golly there's not much I wouldn't do for a pair of those babies.
"Was I ever dancing with an android named LUPE??!" Martin Short is fabulous and that robot gets me laughing so hard I can't breathe and tears are streaming down my face. Treasure Planet is clever, upbeat, inspiring, and DANG if Jimbo don't look dashing in his military getup at the end of the movie. Om nom nom.


What is this picture? I'm pretty sure that's the second movie or something. Regardless. THE MOOSE. Meese. Moosen. Oh, my gosh those two moose are comedy gold and the lesson laid out in this movie is well-done as well as realistic. Kenai goes on an emotional journey we are all familiar with and his resistance to learn is so very human it's downright frustrating. The best characters are the ones who change and Kenai goes through so many of them you may get dizzy. 
And again, I'm a sucker for music and that tribal stuff really gets my blood pumpin'. 

And Ten;

Unfortunately we end with one in which I mostly agree with him. I have never forgotten the movie but I definitely have a hard time recalling anything about it right now other than the psychedelic, neon, LSD trip that the cows take when the villain(?) guy yodels or something. I think I enjoyed the grumpy goat. Maybe. 

So there are my feelings on this article I stumbled upon. Now I suppose I should get back to real work and leave the interwebz alone for a bit.
How do you guys feel about all this? Is it really just me or is this guy a total fart brain?

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Here's why I'm the woman...

Forewarning; Don't bring your sexist woes here. This is pertaining to my life specifically and I'm happy with it so don't be twisting my words and getting all offended because I'm defining gender roles. Don't do it. No. Stahp.

Randomly, a few weeks ago, my husband had an outburst about the stupidity of salad spinners. I believe we were in Bed, Bath, and Beyond perusing the aisles for one last thing to buy with our leftover, wedding gift-card money. In the kitchen area we passed some pretty, neon green salad spinners and Mark spouts off on a rant; "these are the stupidest invention ever" and "I just don't understand" being his main complaints. I'm just smiling and letting him steam because I don't want a salad spinner so it's okay that he hates them. But then he mentions the tiny amount of time it takes to toss a salad and I stop to look at him.
He looks back at me.
His face goes blank and I inhale slowly.
"Salad spinners aren't for tossing the salad, honey."
His face remains blank.
"It's so you can rinse the lettuce and veggies, stick 'em in one bowl and fling the excess water off using centrifugal force."
He blinks.
"Oh. Well, that's kinda cool."

We still don't own a salad spinner, though.

[addition 6/13/2013]
[because this is apparently a thing I'm doing now]

Another reason I'm the woman....
So here's me this morning, flinging clothes about trying to find my white shrug that works with any freaking outfit. It's the most versatile thing in my closet, fo realz. Mark's laying in bed cuz he got the rest of the week off for "good behavior", aka doing a buttload of work and really impressing the higher ups (he's pretty great, I know), and he goes,
"Whatcha lookin' for honey?"
"This!" I exclaim as I hold it up triumphantly and begin to pull it on.
"Your shawl?"
"Haha, it's not a shawl."
"It's a shawl with sleeves."
"So basically any shirt then?"
"No, shirts go down past your waist."
"Shawls can get pretty big too, ya know."
"Those are just blankets."
So there you have it. Shawl, shirt, or blanket. There is no in between.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Pandora's Box of Stations

I recently, as in five minutes ago, posted a status on facebook. It went something like this (and by something I mean word-for-word cuz I'mma copy/paste that bugger right. now.)

"I can't adequately explain the crushing annoyance I feel when I'm listening to my Ola Gjielo station on Pandora and a live-recorded song comes up and it's a freaking cough-fest in the audience. If you have the tickles in your throat at a choral concert you better silently book it outside holding your mouth like you're about to puke all over the row in front of you because that's basically what you're doing. Ruining it for everyone."

Take heed and be warned. Just wanted to reiterate that for those of you who aren't privvy to my facebook eloquencies. Apparently half that sentence isn't even real words. Harrumph.
But then I got thinking about Pandora and how much I seriously love it. Seriously, fo rizzle dizzle, assuredly. I love experimenting in music and getting to hear things I normally wouldn't be exposed to or hear of is delightful to my inner hipster. 
Last week Mark and I were out for date night at the 5 and Diner (can't get enough of that place, we even went withOUT a groupon!) and we were discussing Pandora. He didn't believe my claim that none of my 25 stations are superfluous and each of them have something unique to offer. He literally demanded I hand over my phone so he could go through the list and point out stations that are too similar. For your reference, here is that list in chronological order of creation;
Owl City
Christina Perri
Hans Zimmer
Alan Menken
Eric Whitacre
Sky Sailing
James Horner
Ola Gjielo (still currently listening, mmm, so lovely)
Mumford & Sons
Linkin Park
Bluegrass Banjo
Jess' Playlist*
Winston's Playlist*
Cece's Playlist*
Walt Disney
Michael Buble
I Got Rhythm
The Piano Guys
(* shared stations from "New Girl" characters)

His first complaint was against 'The Piano Guys' and 'Michael Buble'. DO YOU EVEN MUSIC?? Because that's not even...NO. I think I just stared at him incredulously and said something like, "You're dumb. I'm not even going"
He didn't even know who James Horner WAS and tried to say it was too similar to Hans Zimmer. Way to generalize; movie soundtracks, they MUST be the same!
Enya vs. Eric Whitacre? I'm sorry, what?!
Do you guys see what I have to deal with? 

In all seriousness, I have looked over my stations a lot lately feeling like I have too many but it's like trying to throw out clothes. Suddenly I have an inexplicable, life-changing attachment to that particular station and the genre of music it spews forth.
In conclusion, I like my music and all my stations and shutup, leave me alone.