Revelations of a Social Awkward

Sometimes, I start a post.

And then I erase everything and start over. Maybe four different times. I'm really bad with that; getting started. The beginnings and the ends. Two things I'm just not very competent with at all. I'm like a huge, blocky boulder. Ya gotta push and push and possibly put a whole lot of math into making a lever to wedge under me and get me rolling, but once I am boy do I roll. I roll, and bounce, and crash and careen and that's when the 'end' gets tricky. I either hafta hit something more solid than me or I just keep goin' and goin' till I wear out my momentum or go plummeting off a cliff into an ocean of "wait, what just happened to me? Why am I wet?"

Anyway.
Today was legit! Lemme give you the basic rundown:

Tuesday, 9/27/2011--
0000 hours: Finally slap my laptop shut and force myself to attempt sleep
0045 hours: Get really pissed off because roommates are nocturnal and think that blaring a TV for no reason because no one is watching it considering they're having their own separate loud conversation in the kitchen is ok.
(btw, it's not)
0100 hours: Get up and go get a glass of milk, chug it like a boss to give me the courage to shuffle over to said over-volumed TV and ask quietly, "Can I turn this down a little?"
0200ish: Fall asleep.
0445: Wake up and lay there contemplating the many reasons why my bed should feel so wet--oh wait, there aren't any....o_O why am I all wet?? No worries y'all, I didn't pee or nuthin' (in fact, never was much of a bed wetter. honest).
Just popped awake in this drenching cold sweat. Like, my shirt was stuck to my skin and I had to flip my blanket over because it was irritating me, but I wasn't hot. It was a for realzies cold sweat.
0632: Resist urge to chuck bleeping phone into oblivion. /sigh alarms
0710: Realize waking up is probably in my best interest.
0755: Flag the bus down cuz I'M A BOSS.
0805: Pick random Asian kid to stalk because I have no idea how to get to the "Paradise Pier-Redondo Room" for class.
0815: Make it to class really wishing I'd worn socks....

 






(I took those pics later, btdubs. Not as I'm sitting there in class xD)

1130: Leave class feeling very satisfied with the educational choice I made.
1140: Efficiently use time and resources, enter DCA and snag a World of Color Fastpass (woot-woot!!)
1230: Finish writing a letter. Go buy groceries. Finally create an account on LDS.org so I can check up on stuff like where I should go to church, maybe? Seems like a good idea, I dunno...
Make food and take out trash.
1430: Head back to parks :)

Now the next few hours will be presented in a series of photos:

artsy, fartsy on the ride x] 

Oh, FYI if you wanna scare yourself witless just go ahead 

and try to take a picture on Splash Mountain

as you come over the top of that last final crest before

doooooom 

as previously stated; scared. witless.

yaaaaay, more artsy fartsy

ooh! another FYI, I eat my lunches and take my breaks directly 

under that little stage thing :)

Never fails getting my heart skipping a beat

and my face grinning

like a kid with a huge lollipop :D

1903: I rode Tower of Terror and screamed my bloody pants off next to these two middle eastern dudes (I say that only because they spoke in lots of "hack" noises and his iphone texting was set to arabic....yes, I'm a creeper). I'm not kidding, I'm pretty sure the one sitting next to me was staring at me and laughing the entire time because I was screeching like a banshee. I don't think I could scream the way I do on that ride if I was being attacked by a rapist serial killer crazy man....which I realize is a very bad thing.

1915: I got in line for the Red section of World of Color

1920-2040: Met this really, really awesome grandparently couple (I'm serious, 70-80's) from Australia who were visiting the Disneyland/DCA parks for the first time evar! They were so sweet and funny and I just love old people! At one point we had all sat down and Mr. Australia scooted over to where his wife was sitting leaned up against the fence and he laid his head in her lap and was dozing off. It was cute enough in and of itself but then she quietly lifts up her camera and slowly tries to stretch her arms out to get a better angle of him sleeping. 

So I leaned in and motioned for her to let me take the picture and she obliged, grinning like a flirting teenager. I snapped the pic, the flash going off and alerting the mister to what was going on and he kinda blinked a few times, then gets that exasperated look on his face and glances up at the missus and I just wanted to squeeze the both of them!!

I can't wait to be an old person still doing silly things to the love of my life :)

During the show though, there was a small, 3 person group of younger kids, around my age standing nearby and somehow I managed to get along with them really well. Them and the older couple poked fun at me because I, as the Disney-elite, promised them we would hardly get wet standing in the very front. I've just never been in the very middle of the very front.

Guess what.

Ya get wet. 

They were all laughing, "Liar!"

And as usual, I was having my happy-seizures and the girl in the group kept looking back at me laughing and crying, "Where has she been all day?!" and the guys nodded.

They danced, they sang along, they joked with me. When I snorted at Dory's whale-speek she turns around and goes, "Oh my gosh, I love you!" 

At the end of the show, one of the guys gave me a hug and they all waved goodbye and gave me sincere "nice to meet you"s.

World of Color saves my life :)

But oye! Today was exhausting. Been up for....more than fourteen hours now with what barely constitutes as four hours of sleep. 

But it's ok. Because I like life. And boyfriend is in the process of getting a package in the mail. And everyone likes mail ;) and I have a job. and food. and health (mostly).

ps--Oh! and I forgot! When I was first walking down Main Street headed to Splash Mountain as my first ride of the day I was passing the coca-cola place with the piano and I hear the beginnings of "Rhapsody in Blue" (solo piano) being performed by a random guest in the park. I love those moments :)

WeirdPostI'mNotEvenSureAbout

Oh no.


Oh no, oh no, oh no.


Hurry! Think of something quick! People....they're reading....um, oh no.


Yes, it's true. I have no idea what I think I'm doing trying to post a blog entry when I have no precluding topic, story or basic structure to format these words and it's nearing on 0300 hours this lovely Monday morning. This could be disastrous. I would suggest finding a helmet and possibly elbow pads, this is gonna be a bumpy ride...

"Try telling that to the kamikaze pilot wearing a helmet..."
"Kamikaze pilots commit suicide, Cal!"
"Yeah. They understand com-mit-ment!!"

Name that movie. If you get it right....also include a topic for something I should blog about and then I will oblige.
NO GOOGLING!!
I said no!
Stop it.
That's something I guess I need to start integrating as a blogger; including and actually addressing my readers in the posts. Although with a grand sum total of nine followers this seems kinda silly. But you guys is important, too!
"You is smart. You is kind. You is important."
I haven't actually seen that movie. But I really want to! But I wanna read the book first. Same with The Hunger Games. Which is why I need to go to the library that's literally down the street. It's at the same corner as the bus stop I wait at to get to work every day. But I never make it there to get my own card and check out books like I'm desperately wanting to. Why?
Because I can't give me what I want. I'm truly discovering this and it's a little obnoxious.

I talk in my sleep.
No, really.
Not those cute little cuddley squirmy moany chirps that make your heart melt because that person is being subconsciously adorable.
I'm talkin' actual sentences and questions and sometimes "speaking in tongues" (my mom's convinced of that last one). My roommate just announced it to me by asking, "Hope? Do you wanna know a secret about yourself?"
Like I didn't already know. It's only the one thing that everyone always mentions after sleeping within close proximity to my resting body and mind. I actually wake myself up sometimes. Just the other day I was telling my mom, "No, mom that won't work...." and that's when I realized my eyes were opening and there was just a wall there and my voice was resonating in my ears. It's very disorienting, I assure you.
But! Just learned from boyfriend and his newfound knowledge from psychology class, that talking in one's sleep is a sign of the body not "paralyzing" properly in order to achieve REM sleep. Because that's what REM sleep is; the paradoxical neutralization of bodily movement but remaining brain power of a waking, conscious individual.
[(Though, that smart talk is just me. All he said was, "learned in my psychology class that basicly means ur body wont get paralyzed like its supposed to...you silly stubborn person :P...yeah, when you go into REM sleep its called paradoxical sleep cuz you are virtually paralyzed but ur brain works very similarly to when ur awake" with incorrect grammar and textspeek to boot...
Oh my gosh I'm trying really hard to get the font back to normal but I'm just too stoopid, I guess. Stinking copy-paste. Booo.
So now you have the wordy version and the simple version of why I sleep when I talk.....er, the other way around. Whoops. Baha I seriously typed that and now I'm leaving it)
(This is why I'm a blogger and he is not)]

Btdubs, I fixed the font. Later. After posting.

By accident.

 So I'm not changing my words.

Let's try this, shall we?! 
Or perhaps "trebuchet". Does anybody else enjoy saying/reading that word "truh-bucket"? Cuz I sure do. 


Tell me, other bloggers. Do you 'rough draft' and/or edit your blog posts after you've finished writing them? Cuz I find I just post it and hope all went well. I'm wondering if I should fix that little habit...


I ran out of pudding cups today. Technically yesterday but I forgot to notice till today when I was making my lunch (that later turned out to be a futile effort considering there was free food at work). No happy pudding for Hope. I also need more milk, cheese, cereal and nutella.
ps--I do, in fact, need the nutella porquois /ahem, BOYFRIEND IS COMING THIS WEEK and I promised I'd make him some nutella hot cocoa because I keep bragging about it and he keeps wanting cocoa and he's also never tried Nutella.
So, you see, I need the nutella.
(I also did indeed use italics and underline in the same sentence. Welcome to junior high power points 101....it's less tacky because I used french)


Where, oh where did my normal font go? Wheeeeere oh where can it be?!??? (Not to be sung to Larry the Cucumber's 'where oh where' song, sorry)


Guys. I'm singing about fonts. Time to go improperly paralyze and never achieve REM and be a complete failure even when I'm unconscious.
I hope my future husband makes me a trophy if/when I ever actually do completely sleep one night all the way through.....if he'll even let me....o_O


(yes, honey. that is a hint ;D) 

FWP

"First World Pains"

These are the facebook statuses I want to put up but won't because
A) Um, they're pointless.
B) C'mon people, I just want to complain. Isn't that what this site is for? Stop being all self-righteous on my comment feed and making me look like a terrible person. It's awfully inconvenient.
C) There's a bunch of 'em and I swear I'm not a whiner but it kinda feels like it when I go to facebook 5 separate times with different status ideas each time and....well, they're all complaints...or something of the like.

ALERT!-- There will be Glee conversation in here. Navigate thyself away from this page if this dost disturb thee. Or offend thee because thou is STOOPID and has not viewed said season 3 premiere...

• Dear Glee; WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO THE PIANOOOOOOS?? 
• Srsly Glee, do you not realize how devoid my life is of that blessed instrument right now? That freaking tore. my heart. in TWO. Except more than two, I could barely pick up all the pieces from the pit of my stomach. It was devastating.
• Am I insane or did anybody else catch Heather Morris, "Brittany", looking super-duper cross eyed in that last number? The quick, close-up in the Hairspray number?? I laughed, really hard (cuz I'm a terrible person). Go back and watch again, she looks mentally handicapped (for realzies).
• HULU! Quit it with the buffering or I WILL CUT YOU.
• Oh, ok then. Facebook is dumb and makes me actually search for people's updates now. Gmail is completely filled with pinterest updates which I should really switch over to automatic deleting so I stop getting excited that 'I have mail!', and Pinterest is having seizures and slipping into a psychotic meltdown where it's a schizophrenic and ALL THE SAME PINS show up ALL THE TIME in the EXACT SAME ORDER. And hulu wants to commit suicide. Why don't I have a life??
• Dear Package of Hotdogs; on the microwave directions, when you mention that you should wrap the meat in a damp paper towel you should also include the fact that it will SQUEAL LIKE A FREAKING STUCK PIG and spew icky yellow grease everywhere and convince you you are nuking a piece of devil sausage that will possess you and haunt you for the rest of forever for putting it through such torture......
• Dear internet connection; pull it together or we're through! . . . . baby, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. C'mon baby, work for me, plz? You got it--We got dis! We can pull through it.

Basically I'm slightly bipolar. It's super frustrating trying to watch these brand new "yay-i-can-watch-TV-again!!" shows and every 5 seconds (I am actually not exaggerating here, crazy, I know) it pauses and I get to stare at Mercedes' lovely (sarcasm) face holding out an awesome, goosebump note that is now completely RUINED because my internet stinks like old cheese in a toilet!

And then I look at myself and immediately feel ashamed. Really, Hope? Seriously? Let's remember the starving orphans with club foot and malaria and 5 younger siblings at the age of 8 that they have to take care of and rear all on their own and here you sit having eaten enough pasta and weird hotdogs to feed those sickly, starving orphans for a year and still probably get worms because their tummies are too warped and twisted to handle food anymore even if they had some........

Yay guilt trips o.O

I <3 Glee. and New Girl. and Up All Night. and BONES!!!! and White Collar. and Prison Break.

That is all.

My Husband.....in an alternate dimension/universe. Just ask Shannon ;)

Bzzzz!!

If you're into Pinterest (as I am) (and when I say 'into' I mean devastatingly addicted to), then you know the ginormous slew of braid pins that get thrown out there every day. You also know the conundrum of posting pin after pin and never really resolving to follow through and DIY-it-up, or bake-it-up, or anything really.
In my defense, I barely manage with the normal 3-strand, simple braid. No fancy french crap or fishtail or nuthin'. So I usually pin those with the idea of others applying the 'do to my head. But yesterday, I was sick of my in-the-middle-of-adjusting hair gettin' her mullet on and limping in my face. Girls with long hair, back me up. There's that phase inbetween cutting your hair short (possibly donating full feet of it, like me) and growing it back out where it just throws a month or two long pity party and will not cooperate. Mine figures it'll make everyone miserable and try to bring back the 80's with a completely awful mullet impression. Not to mention it's kind of going through puberty, unable to tell if it wants to go curly or stay straight. So wispy strands get this nice (even cute) curl going but the heavier portions can't keep up and flop around haphazardly like some sort of dying eel stuck on dry land. Maybe it's doing yoga, I dunno.
In any case, I was done dealing with my hair's tantrums and decided,
"Ya know what! I'mma try a french braid!"
I musta had Wheaties for breakfast or something. I was a champion standing in front of that mirror. I was gonna get this french braid thing down if it was the last thing I did!!
So I took up the front part of my hair, sloppily divided into 3 sections and got to it.

This is what happened....

I know it's blurry, I'm also not very good at taking pictures of myself in bathroom mirrors. Not exactly experienced in that field, ya caught me.
I tell ya, I was not expecting that when I pulled out my pocket mirror and took a glance at what I had managed to create. And it's not a fluke! I did it again today. My hair's still just short enough that it doesn't quite like conforming to braids just yet but it's my head goshdarnit and I'll put it up if I want!

Also yesterday, I went to the park around 6 in the evening although I was completely aware the park closes at 8 this time of year.
I went to Disneyland, knowing there was barely a max of 2 hours I could spend there.....

Simply because I can.

:)

I actually met a couple a cool dudes who had these nifty passes that let a total of 6 people in a group go through pretty much any fastpass lane. Not sure exactly how it worked but all I know is it meant I rode a whole lot more rides than I anticipated stepping into the park :)
I finally rode Space Mountain with all the wicked halloween tricks!

That minion dude is one twisted creeper.
Also learned that there's a whole nuther side to Matterhorn...o.O Totally didn't know that till yesterday. What a terrible Cast Member I am. I've only ever been on the Fantasyland side. Got to go on the Tomorrowland side this time! I must say I like it much better.
It was very nice to just go 'be a kid' and kinda loosen up. Chill in the happiest place on earth for a couple hours and remember how much it really is the happiest place I've ever been, at least :)
Not to mention
BOYFRIEND'S COMIN' NEXT WEEEEEEK!!

That'll be a post worth [too] many pictures. Hopefully we can manage to actually look like a happy, normal, cute couple as opposed to the freaky, creepy, awkward gremlin people we seem to be; judging by all the previous pictures taken of this relationship thus far....

Ok, so there are a couple okay ones in there. Sue me.
But honestly.
Who looks like that and still finds love???
Me 'n Boyfran, that's who.
Anyway, he's coming next friday because MIRACLE OF MIRACLES, I happened to get that day off and that's his weekend and he's never been to Disneyland before EVAR and I can get us in freeeeeeee!!
I'm only a little kindasortamaybejustaLOT excited.

And worried right now. Blogger isn't saving anything I keep typing or adding and that's really frustrating to me because I keep typing and keep adding and this is a very detailed post that I'm putting a lot of work in and I'd really like it if it wasn't wasted.....

>:(

Well there's my update. Take it or leave it. I couldn't care less either way.

FFFAAAACCCK-TEH

Fact:

It will always, always be funny when your 

[very white] Mother

quotes Nacho Libre in a fake spanish accent--

"DO YOU NOT REALIZE, I HAVE HAD DIARRHEA SINCE EASTERS?!??!"

I promise.

And now, because I'm always good at turning the time over to someone who is much, much, much funnier than me...

For the Haters

For the record, I'm pretty sure I was born to make grilled cheese.
As y'all may have surmised from reading my other entries (but if you're brand new here [firstly, HI!], then just take my word for it), I suck at cooking. During my manufacturing process they kinda forgot to install most of my typical 'womanly trait characteristics' as well as my hidden mechanical arm like that one John Silver has in Treasure Planet with all the gizmos and doo-dads. How could they forget that?!?? I should sue. But then...it is God, and I feel like you're just destined to lose big time waging a lawsuit against God.
As I was saying; can't cook. Worth beans (heh. punny).
But! My first time trying grilled cheese sandwich and HOLY MOLY I am a rockstar. This is the best sandwich I have ever laid hands and mouth on (that sounded slightly sensual and I apologize). I just might make another one when I finish this one.

[I didn't. I called boyfriend and had a bowl of cereal. Welcome to college life.]

SO! Disney Cast Choir. It's pretty legit. AND HUGE! Daaaang, there were like, 50-60 people there tonight! And most of them were oldies. I felt dumb. And small. And noob-y.
But soooooo so so so nice to be back in a choir and singing again. I didn't get lost going there, I didn't break anything....oh, wait. Dangit, I lied. I set off the alarm trying to get in at TDA (Team Disney Anaheim). Turns out the sensor thing didn't like my apartment building access card being in such close proximity to my ID and it took three guards and a lot of searching the computer to figure it out and finally let me through.
Silly.
But anyway, dug into a bunch of Christmas music right inbetween two very grumpy altos. The one on my right didn't seem to appreciate my consonants. Honey, you got a problem step it up and take your attitude elsewhere. Geez. This sure ain't Kansas (er...Mesa) no more.

[Shoutout to Resonance!! Miss all y'all like you don't even know!]

The director is fun. Really active arms. And an active mouth. But he's animated and funny and knows his stuff, so that's great. Super jealous of the pianist. Wanted to just sit right behind him and watch the entire time. /sigh.

Speaking of which! 

"Um, dude. I get to actually sing the Hallelujah Chorus?? You...you mean it? I can SING?! I don't hafta play that....I don't! I sing! This is crazy..."

Those were basically my thoughts during that entire song. Funnily enough, I basically already knew my part...and the tenors....and most of the bass. Sopranos are a no brainer [big surprise, eh?]. BUT! The main event of the night?

AUDITIONS

dun, dun, duuuuuunnnn-nuh

They weren't that bad at all. Just makin' sure you can match pitch and maintain that pitch....with others. But he almost tried to make me a soprano. Got real close there. Had me do scale runs and went really super high on the piano [ok, it was only like A6, hush] and him and this other secretary lady shared this look and nodded at each other like it was some secret code and I'm standing there squeaking to the best of my abilities hoping it sounds terrible enough that they'll believe me when I say; I'M AN ALTO.

He let me stay though. Still an alto. Whew!

It was a scary moment.

Went and saw Lion King 3D! Pretty much blew my mind. First of all, hadn't realized exactly how long it's been since I saw that movie!! Waaaay too long, lemme tell ya. So the fact that it was a renewal of childhood memories in freaking 3D was almost too much for my poor over-emotional brain to handle. And yes. I cried. Hate on haters. As a matter of fact, the amount of cheering and excited squealing set forth from the audience woulda been pathetic and embarrassing if it wasn't so completely epic and fantastic...

And now I'm basically drooling on the keyboard cuz I keep nodding off. Tiredz.

In conclusion, I leave you with the SOML (in honor of aforementioned midnight viewing)...

Surrounded, I tell you.

Solution

We always need more monkeys. Let's face it.

Life Lessons by Hopey

2245 hours:

Let's go on an adventure!

I don't want to cook, so I'mma go find fast food [cuz I've earned it]

Let's wear pajama's cuz they're Cast Exclusive and comfy and I never want to take them off.

"I'm going to walk until I see a fast food restaurant and I'mma eat there!" [this is gonna be GREAT!]

Walking, walking, walking.

Ok, wow. This looks exactly like mini-mexico on main street by the temple. [Nostalgic!]

Walking, walking, walking.

There's a lot of graffiti here....and no people. Where are all the people?

Walking, walking.....walking.

If there's not a food place by this next light, I'm turning left.

2311 hours:

Oh, boyfriend texted! :D

Tell boyfriend about adventure.

Boyfriend speedy quick google maps where I am.

"There's not really any food anywhere and that road is gunna end..."

Sad Hope is sad.

Turn around.

I'll go to Lincoln instead!! :D 

Walking, walking, walking.

Woohoo, hello Lincoln! We is good buddies. You is a block from my apartment building. [Irony!]

2343 hours:

Jack in the Box dining area closes at 11....

WELL, BOO.

Walking, walking....trudging.

0012 hours:

Sittin' on kitchen floor, nom-ing corndogs and pinning.

Why did I ever leave?? 

Also, um, pretty sure dudes just whistle for whistling's sake. Cuz honey, I'm wearing house slippers, sweatpants and a large blue tye-dye shirt with my hair all pulled back with a headband and hairtie. Either you is the most desperate douche on the face of this entire universe or...well, you're a plain ole douche.
Seriously. Keep it to yourself.
No one likes you.

(that has nothing to do with this blog entry other than story of my freaking life!!)

They Say It Better

The sun is filling up the room, and I can hear you dreaming. Do you feel the way I do, right now? I wish we would just give up 'cause the best part is falling.
Call it anything but love, and I will make sure to keep my distance. Say I love you when you're not listening. How long can we keep this up?
Please don't stand so close to me, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm afraid of what you'll see, right now. I'll give you everything I am, all my broken heartbeats until I know you'll understand.
I will make sure to keep my distance, say 'I love you' when you're not listening.
How long can we keep this up?
And I keep waiting for you to take me, you keep waiting to say what we have.
So I'll make sure to keep my distance, say 'I love you' when you're not listening.
How long till we call this love?

I'm scared today, more than I told you I was yesterday. Give me a moment to catch my breath and hold me every second left.
Proud of me.
That's the only way I want you to be. Look at me, and love what you see. I won't make it alone, I need something to hold.
Kiss me on my shoulder, tell me it's not over. I promise to always come home to you. Remind me that I'm older, to be brave, smart, sweet and bolder and don't give up on what we're trying to do;
Don't count the miles, count the 'I love you's'.
We made it out, and all the other people are asking how. This doesn't even sound like truth, to grow from a group. But one day we will realize how hard it was, how hard we tried and how our hearts made it out alive.

Can you find the time to let your lover love you? He only wants to show you the things he wants to learn, too. The hardest parts, you'll get through and in the end you'll have your best friend.
Love like this may come once. Baby, it's fate. Like a soulmate, he's your penguin. Baby, it's fate.
Baby, it's fate--not luck.
Can you find the time to let your lover hold you? He needs somebody to hold to, his love is strong and so true. His arrow's aiming for you and he's the one that you were born to love.
Let go, let go of time for you and I.
Love like this may come once. Baby, we're fate. Like a soulmate, you're my penguin. Baby, we're fate.
Baby, it's fate--not luck.

We should get jerseys, cause we make a good team. But yours would look better than mine, cause you're outta my league. And I know it's so cliche to tell you that everyday I spend with you is the new best day of my life. Everyone watching us just turns away with disgust. It's jealousy, they can see that we've got it going on.
And I'm racking my brain for a new improved way, to let you know you're more to me than what I know how to say. You're OKwith the way this is going to be.
This is going to be the best thing we've ever seen.
If anyone can make me a better person, you could. All I gotta say is I must've done something good. I came along one day and you rearranged my life. All I gotta say is I must've done something right.
I must've done something right.
Maybe I'm just lucky cause it's hard to believe. Believe that somebody like you'd end up with someone like me. And I know it's so cliche to talk about you this way, but I'll push all my inhibitions aside. It's so very obvious to everyone watching us that we have got something real good going on.
And I'm racking my brain for a new improved way, to let you know you're more to me than what I know how to say. You're OK with the way this is going to be.
This is going to be the best thing we've ever seen.

It's the dreams that make you real. It's this change in me that finally fits. The undercurrent deep in my veins, deeper than my soul, that finally flows straight and true. You, you, you are my fantasy. You and your simple reality. Reality in myself--in this love--in this need.
More seamless than sky and sea, I mold to your arms forming the perfect, permanent memory.
Memory of life behind the eyes, safe behind the vision.
It's the dreams that make you real.

:) <3

Z-formation

Dear Mr. Narcissus,

TAKE YOUR JUDGING EYES AND BALDY HEAD ELSEWHERE. Yes, I bought slimfast AND corndogs.
Bite me.
Much love [but not],
Hope.

Srsly. K, first of all I was SUPER DUPER TOTALLY productive today. It's like I'm an adult or something.

Except for my adultness leads to that......uh oh

(Full credit goes to Hyperbole and a Half for that graph. It's genius. Go read it. NOW.)

For serious though, I woke up for starters. Then I made food (as previously seen on This is Today). Then I took a freaking shower and SHAVED. I took a real life razor to my legs, people. This is adulthood. And then, I--OH! And I put the dishes in the dishwasher earlier than the shower. Forgot about that (I'm such an adult I can't even keep track of it all). I put a load of laundry in, left it to do its thang, did some grocery shopping and in coming back from that lovely venture out into the world I happened upon Mr. N[arcissus]. 

Mr. N was being a total creeper and sitting his bald self directly out in front of our apartment building all by hi lonesome. Just sitting there. I don't know what he was doing. I hope he had a book or something, not just people watching. Or just waiting for someone to happen along (such as myself) so he could pop up and spew forth more tantalizing facts of awesomeness about himself. 

Now, secondly, due to the fact that I was so stinking productive today I had to let some other things go. Such as my social presentability. I looked basically like some sort of trailer park tramp who happened upon an empty shower stall that actually spouted water....weird. It's a miracle I even blow-dried my hair. 

No makeup, no deoderant (but I promise I didn't smell--straight outta the shower, remember?), blue gym shorts, zipper jacket over my sports bra (that's right, no shirt. I'mma rebel), and fluffy house slippers.

Trailer. park. tramp. 

(oh, btdubs, just so no one is misled, the jacket was zipped up and thick and I'm not a slut. I promise. Cali hasn't gotten to me that much)

So Mr. N, no joke, he pops up as I walk by carrying my bags from VONS and is like, 

"So what'dja get??"

o.O really? We're not friends, buddy. You don't go asking people about their groceries! I wanted to be like, 

"Oh ya know, tampons and some diarrhea medication and a couple bottles of KY intense brand....stuff...." except for I don't actually know anything about those products so I'd sound like a jittery mental patient along with my trailer park tramp image and not to mention he'd prolly be like,

"Oh, the girls I'm with don't need that KY stuff. I got all they need right. here."

And then I'd puke on his fuzzy bald head.

....thinking back on that, I shoulda gone with that route.

Unfortunately, I am plagued with that "I can always think of a better comeback...after the fact" disease of stupidity and unwitdom. So I was stuck with him analyzing the items through the plastic bags and exclaiming,
"That's a lot of ice cream!"
Dude, I know the sports bra kinda squishes 'em down but those ARE boobs. Meaning female. Thusly, yeah I buy ice cream!
I corrected him because he misidentified my slimfast as ice cream (though there is a tub of Cookie Dough Ice Cream chillin' in my freezer....like a villain) and then he spies the corndogs and pretty much sneers,
"Slimfast meets corndogs?"
aka
"Wow you fatty. Way to fail at life and attempt weight control and WHERE'S YOUR SELF ESTEEM?? Want some of mine? I have too much, it's nauseating"
I mighta added some things in there. Maybe, it's a possibility.
For the record, slimfast is an easy filling breakfast I can grab on the run to the busstop. I am not hardcore into weight loss or nuthin, I know I'm not fat and also; I like the taste.
So :P thlbhpghlthpblhlght to you, Mr. N. No one likes you, anyway.

And that's what I have to say about that.

Lastly,

because it's too good to not share everywhere.

This Is Today

I really have no real reason to be here, only feel like talking. And boyfriend is supposed to call when he wakes up, but there's no real telling when that'll ever happen.
I'm making fries as we speak.
Yeah. Like, potato fries.
That's the conversation I had with boyfriend last night/early-early this morning.

Me: I think I'll make fries tomorrow! er...later today....
(it was like, 2 in the morning, mkay? I never know how to refer to that)
BF: [silence]....fries?
Me: Um, yeah. Fries...?
BF: [more silence] Like, potato fries??
(at this point I don't understand why he's so confused. He made fun of me for not bringing a pizza cutter as that is apparently a bachelor pad "staple" so why in heaven's name would he not know about baking packaged fries??)
Me: Yes! Potato fries, silly! In a bag? Ya open it and put it in the oven and then NOMZ.
BF: In a bag?!?

To this moment I still have no idea if he was just messing around or not.
I tossed the crinkle cut fries in olive oil (just a teensy bit) and creole seasoning. We'll see how they turn out. Such is the life of all my cooking attempts.
"Hm. Let's try this!"
Maybe after 8 or so months of all this experimenting and utter failing I'll actually be able to feed another human (aka potential husband) (and then kids! oh boy...)
However, I must say, listening to the TRON soundtrack by Daft Punk whilst cooking makes the adventure that much more epic and daring. I feel really legit right now. Kinda. I mean, at the moment I'm just waiting for the oven to preheat which is like waiting for your decrepit, ancient grandmother to make her way down the stairs in her sleep. blah.

Can I just take a moment and talk about Hellfire? Before you judge me, please realize I'm talking about the song in Hunchback of Notre Dame. Not actual flames and minions and brimstone. No, the most genius song I believe Disney has ever come up with. Most genius, most creepy, most intense, MOST GENIUS.
I mean, A) it's not like any of us had one teeny inkling of how disgusting and creepy it was as a child. We just thought the evil, bad, ugly man was singing an evil, bad, ugly song at the fireplace--"Oh look! Esmerelda! I love her...."
Doesn't exactly cross your mind, "What's she doing in the fire? Why is he singing to it? What??"
B) It doesn't even sound like a typical Disney song! Just listen to it. It's legit, totally stand alone.
C) Monk chanting? That doesn't make you fall asleep? ETERNAL KUDOS TO YOU, Disney.
D) It just sounds really awesome in Russian.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FL304zvBh3w

toldja. (ps--I did try to embed it for y'all but I guess youtube and blogger are in the middle of hating each other and I'm not gonna deal with the immaturity of it all)

NEways.
STIR DE FRIIIIIES
(speaking of hellfire...) It's so cold in our apartment, that blast of hot, hot air from the oven felt really good on my face and hands and arms and toes.....
Yes, I held my toes in front of/slightly inside the oven. Judge all you will. Why not change the thermostat? I would if there was one to be had. Along with selling our souls, we interns also sold our right to alter our living conditions. Disney says we is icicles.
I think I just messed up the fries....sprinkled on grated cheese probably just a bit too soon....
/sigh
We shall see!
That right there is pretty much the actual Story of My Life. "We shall see". Who knows what's gonna happen tomorrow, next week, next year, I guess I'll just wait and find out! My mom likes to tell this story about me when I was little, how it would be rounding on christmastime and my parents would ask me, "So, Hope! What's Santa going to bring you for Christmas??" trying to get little pointers on what to buy at Walmart and Costco. But I would just sigh like little girls do, smile and reply, "I don't know! Guess I'll just hafta wait and see...."
Needless to say, parents were slightly frustrated. Bahaha. SUCKS TO BE YOU, MOM AND DAD.

Now that y'all know exceedingly too much about the boring drivel that is my everyday life and intimate details of my mellow childhood, I bid thee adieu.
Because I'm frying bacon and last time I ventured into that realm of cooking I filled the apartment with smoke. Let's not reciprocate, shall we?! Ok.

Who's Driving This Thing?!?!

It's been a really, really messed up week--end...o.O

In the past 47 hours I had my life flipped over and shaken out like an offending bag at the airport by a really grumpy security guard who really just wanted to make a mess and piss people off...and then righted again with most of the stuff going back where it belongs.

Mostly.

It's quite disorienting, I assure you.

But I just made mac'n'cheese with extra cheese, so it's ok.

For reasons I won't disclose (no, even if you ask) boyfriend and I almost had a falling apart. Yes, he does have the honeymoon pretty much planned and yes, most of my pinboards are chock full of ideas and posts directly pertaining to our wedding. So you really could say we almost broke off our "engagement". But a whole lot of prayer mixed with a whole lot of divine inspiration brings us to today with the sun in the sky and a very orange meal.

Mac'n'cheese and orange juice...I feel like I should whip up some broccoli for some color. But, of course, there's no time.

There's never time! People complain about it but ya never realize how right they are until you experience it (story of all our lives, right?). I try to cook something and I find that, "Wait....now I can't go get a fresh costume from the costuming center! Or I'll be late to clock in! Now I'mma stink the entire night! DANGIT."

I tried to go to church today. At one. Which was very worrisome, considering I have work at 4:15. Which means I needed to get to the park an hour before that (3:15ish). So I should leave right after sacrament. Ride the bus home and get there around 2:30 or so. But I also need to do laundry so I has a clean undershirt to wear that isn't rainbow colored. And make my lunch so I can eat.

But turns out the one o'clock ward was invisible and also telepathic and I'm not awesome so I couldn't really attend...

(But I got my time with the piaaaanoooooo x] small miracles is nice)

So I got home more like 1:45 and life is good. For now. Until the next time it's like,

I'MMA SCREW EVERYTHING UP AND SEE HOW YOU TAKE IT CUZ IT'S FUUUUUNNY

Great. Thanks for that.

In other news, tomorrow's my day off and this time I'm gonna see World of Color for realzies. And then thursday is my next day off and [singsong voice] I'm going to Disney Choir!! [operatic embellishments] [plus a little jig] [sometimes I just really like the look of brackets]

[]

It's a box. A bracket box.

People miss me! Like, they notice when I'm not around. Apparently I'm STOOPID and missed the real actual first meeting for the choir a couple days ago (last thursday) and this kid I work with, Jeff (aka my other sorta-kinda-half-trainer person), comes up to me at work last night and was like,
"Hey! Are you still doing the choir thing??"

Me: "Oh! Right, I hadn't looked up when that started...."

Jeff: "Oh, well we had our first meeting BUT they're still accepting people this next week! You should come!"

Me: "For sure! I totally will, I still really wanna do this...."

Jeff: "Yeah, me and Vincent were all, 'Where's Hope?!' and wondering where you were..."

Me: .....you mean....

....you thought of me??

Alright, just kidding, it wasn't THAT pathetic but in my head it nearly was.

I'M SO EXCITED. 

Basically, (I totally overuse that word, apologies those who notice) I'm glad I still have a handle on my life and can work it out and actually feel like I'm maybe succeeding a little bit! Yay! Now off to get dressed in NOT A SKIRT and catch the bus...again.

Woot.

Pros and Cons

Blue Bayou is closed for renovations....here are my thoughts.

PRO:

• The flow of things to wash has been cut down by about three-fourths.
• People are a whole lot more pleasant due to previous fact.
• Thusly, life is nice.
• And I like nice life.

CON: 

• I'MMA BE SO LAZY FOR CHRISTMAS!! 

This is bad. This is really, really bad guys! But it's so nice at the same time. I don't get soggy shoes and I don't feel like I have arthritis in my poor abused fingers and I don't splash food junk/soapy suds in my face for the majority of my shift...but once Bayou opens again in a couple months and we're right in the middle of peak season for stinking Halloween/Christmas LIFE WILL BE PAINFUL.

It will not be my most favorite ever.

Speaking of not favorite.

See, there's this guy. He's not that great. But when he talks about himself (which is constantly [I wish I was kidding]), you'd think there was a statue somewhere monumenting the awesomeness that is this dude. He's in custodial and I only see him around the bus cuz he works DCA and I'm underneath Dland all day. 

And that's all too often in my book.

The first thing I ever heard this kid say is, "I'm in such a destructive mood today!" and when all three of us standing around beside him gave him this o.O look, he continued, "I just wanna go around and smash everything."

Me and the other girl laughed, in a "oh, look you're being tough, we'll laugh and appease your pathetic little ego" way.

But then he says, "Like, I wanted to fight a mountain lion yesterday."

Um, excuse me, what??

"I was at the beach and there was a mountain lion there and I totally wanted to go up and fight it."

First of all; dude. Chill. There's no need to go aggravating the poor kitty.

Secondly; what exactly would that prove? A) you're stupid B) you're stupid and C) you have an apparent lack of self-esteem to compensate for.

I'm allowed to make that assumption because from that moment I met him onward that is how every conversation has gone. 

"I didn't mean to cut my hair this short but it's ok. I can pull it off."

"There's not one kind of person I don't get along with....well, except for one type of male. The ones that see me as competition."

"I'm very good at innuendos," um, congrats? I am, too. Big deal, "they're actually a very good tool. I tell that to every guy that comes to me for relationship advice."

"I always don't think I can cook, but then I surprise myself. You ever take a bite of something and don't want to continue eating it because it's....almost painfully blissful?"

"I used to be a very good swimmer. Better than most of the 'swim team'. But I don't really like water."

You don't like water? What the heck does that even mean??

"This girl was so mad at me last night. We played catchphrase and I'm known as the king of catchphrase back where I come from..."

"I don't wear long sleeves until it's at least 40 degrees or below..."

"I have a large nose, but it doesn't bother me."

Um, then why did you mention it?

"Everyone always remembers my name."

It's David and, sorry. That was a lucky guess on my part. So :P thlbhplghtphlh

He's a rugby player, if that helps picture the situation any.

I could go on. and on. and on. (PS--those are real actual quotes. I am not exaggerating or barely even paraphrasing). This kid is made of pure testosterone and ego. It's sickening. I snorted at one point, after his innuendo advice comment, and he caught on that I was scoffing at him....obviously he didn't appreciate it much. 

I said next to nothing the entire bus ride home tonight. He didn't seem fazed at all. He always had one more tidbit about his awesome self to pull up and talk about for the next couple minutes and I was just entertained by the fact that he thought I was interested. And I listened to my Breaking Benjamin and Muse through the one earbud and nodded every once in awhile, sometimes laughing.

Every time I did say something he'd go, "What was that?" but I felt like he was really saying, "What? I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am...."

Except there isn't any awesome to be seen. 

Basically, the entire time was just /FACEPALM. Dude, give it a rest. No one cares.

Narcissism. It's a freaking BIG problem.

Poster Twins

C'mon guys. Really?

Although, in all honesty, I don't really care. Both movies are fantastic.
First of all; A New Hope? (oh, look. My name. Welcome to my first grade LIFE. For Valentine's Day I got three of the exact same card with Leia and R2D2 on it that said, "You're my only Hope". According to my parents it should've been the most insulting worst moment of my life. In my eyes, it was the best thing that's ever happened to me). If you have problems with Star Wars, now would be about the time you should block this site from your filthy eyes because I don't want anything to do with you but I can't block you myself. That would be ridiculous and much beyond my capacity for doing.
Secondly; Tron? Daft Punk? Olivia Wilde?
...ok.
That's all you have to say. "OK". Sure, sure whatever Olivia's hot, WE GET IT. But also, she's kind of the lead female character I've been waiting for all my life. She's no Megan Fox, slutting it up in HD with air brushing up her butt (literally), nor is she that typical "I'mma be super sexy and unrealistically bada** to appease the 13 year old male ego and IQ".
No! She's smart, she's curious, she's wickedly cool and has the most rockin' boots I've ever seen. She's not pouring seduction out her cateyes every screenshot they take, she's concerned and has genuine character.
Plus she drives the four-wheel Light Runner (CAN HAZ PLZ???!). Olivia Wilde/Quorra is pretty much the most legit female in the history of EVAR.
And then, on top of it all, she looks like this:

I. NEED. those. boots.
Just sayin'.
Boyfriend wants me to have them, as well :P hehehe

Anyway. That's my rant on awesomeness in the form of similar posters.

Day of Purple

It was just one of those unintentional things....

My glasses, my tank, the band of the new bag I bought at the Farmer's Market---purple. It's not even my favorite color but what the hey.

I was excited about the bag though....12 bucks. Which isn't THAT much of a deal, considering it was only 15. I forgot to pack a purse along with everything else (go me), and the rainbow caught my eye, but when he said "15" there was no way I was droppin' that much food money for a bag. So I started walking away and he calls out after me, "Do you want it for 12?!" with desperation in his voice.
A) Now I'm getting a "deal" on it.
B) The poor dude wasn't getting any customers.
C) . . . . I really wanted it.

So I bought it. And took this picture--

I set it down on the table and the strap did that on its own! It's a sign....of something. In any case, I likes it :)

Forewarning: If you are an easily offended person, you should probably just go away now. I'm not here to make anyone angry, I'm just talking about my life and what happens day to day. So....just go on and click that little X if you need something more PC

Twas my second day off, today, so after getting that bag (and a whole head of lettuce for $1!) I got on a bus and headed to the Best Buy to get some headphones. It would be nice to watch hulu and skype call somebody without feeling like I'm intruding on my roommates' worlds. Slowly (very slowly), I'm learning the area around here. I find myself looking out the bus window and cataloging, "Oh, that's where that is! Remember that...ooh, and there, I should go there sometime....hey! Panda! I'll go eat there..." I carry around a little red notebook with me and write stuff down pretty much all the time. I just might end up curing my forgetfulness...
Maybe not.
Probably not.
But I'd like to think so.
Anyway, shopping was fine. That's not what I'm trying to get at.
Oh! In case boyfriend ever reads this, BE PROUD OF ME. There was a Michael's with a clearance sale going on and they had scrapbooking stuff for DIRT CHEAP lying around outside and I'll admit, I looked. I practically dug through everything. But I did not buy one single item. It about tore my heart out, but I walked away. /sigh
After all of this, I had to get back to the bus (obvsly). Just barely missed it, again. It was dumb. The light turned green for me to walk across the street and I was halfway there when the stupid bus pulled away. It's like he sat there right until I almost had hope that I'd get on and sped away, cackling to his fat lonely self.
Boo.
But, in missing this bus, I got to meet 16 year old Jacob.
For the first 10-15 minutes of our nearly half hour interaction I was sure this human was female. There was no doubt in my mind. I had no reason to doubt! He/she/it looked like a girl, sounded like a girl and had feministic qualities. The first thing he said to me was, "You're wearing my favorite color!" similar to the shirt he was wearing, "I love your style..." and there was nothing that occured to me "Hm, this person could be a boy..."
Very feminine sunglasses, hair about as long as mine (and I wish I knew what shampoo/conditioner he used, it was so beautiful and silky!), and the long french manicure nails kinda aided in the girl-image....
They weren't fake nails, or painted, just well kept and long with that natural white strip at the top. He constantly dabbed at his face with a small white cloth because he "breaks out when [he] sweats" and wanted to wear make-up but his aunt told him it's the worst thing you can do for acne.
Go figure. I never thought he was male o.O
Until he gave me his entire familial background story: Turns out his mom died and his dad's a jerkface and this poor kid has gone through quite a bit of hell. Foster homes until his mother's side of the family waged a legal war and got him back in the end. But, his dad remarried and Jacob has met the new people in his father's life and he told me how the stepkids would call him "gay" and tease him about being in cheerleading cuz "it's for girls!"
...wait.
Yeah, girls...that's what you are isn't it?! oh no...oh dear....
Thank the heavens I'm not super talkative and hadn't said much including anything to reveal my mistake and possibly offend him. Even for the next few minutes I was still confused and unsure what gender of human I was speaking to. I just kinda let him blabber but eventually in talking about his dad he referred to himself as "son" and for the rest of the conversation I was in awe how I could have been so convinced this boy was female for so long. He was very friendly and not terrible to listen to, though obtaining all the dramatic details of a 16 year old she-man were not exactly high on my list of priorities for the day.
It was awkward, and definitely a first.
"Excuse me, sir?"
"MA'AM!!"
"ok!....alright bye, human! nice to meetcha individual!"
Glad it didn't turn into that.

There are lots of strange people o'er here. Strange, strange people.

o.O
All in all; it was weird.

Complications in the Workplace

Welp.
That was difficult.

Minding my own business, putting my gloves on so my nails don't disintegrate away from soaking in all the gross chemicals, I try to not show that I'm listening intently to the mexicans chatter away in spanish to see how many words I can recognize.
Not many.
I got "trabajar" and "porque" and I'm pretty sure "queso" a couple times. And of course the easy ones like "telefono" and "bicicleta". They laugh and jeer, obviously making fun of something. Telling some sort of funny story.
But then Alfredo comes up to me and he's like, "Do you ever get those guys at your house? The ones on bicycles, they look all nice and...."
At that point I'm like, ohhhh no. Heavenly Father you are NOT throwing me into that kinda missionary moment....are you?
So he keeps going into this huge ranting session about Mormon missionaries and how annoying they are and how impractical it is to have such young kids out "harassing" people when they should be getting jobs and working and this and that and blah blah blah....and his facial expression was clear. He was basically waiting for me to jump in on the bashing and rant along with him.
Yeah, well see....it very well coulda been someone I know and completely respect that you're hatin' on, so uh no. I don't think it's stupid.
But you can't say that! That wouldn't help nobody.
I didn't know how to handle the situation. I didn't get all defensive and let him know the error of his sinful ways. I more just pointed out that they believe in what they're doing just as much as he believes that his Virgin Mary hanging on the door is reason enough to turn someone away. And that's his right! I got no problem with that. It saddens me that they're too stubborn and "stiffnecked" to even give boys a chance. But you can't coerce someone into listening. Which must be super frustrating for missionaries.
In any case, the part I really didn't appreciate was when he and his buddies were joking about how they want to "have some fun" with these fellows "bothering" them. I don't care who you are and who it is you're doing this to, ya simply don't take a ladle or spoon (the example Alfredo used), put a towel over it and brandish it like a hidden gun and threaten people "just for the heck of it". To scare them.
It's silly and childish and even dangerous! You really want to be that kind of person? Really?
All in all, I was the only one not laughing and I still don't understand spanish despite working with pretty much all hispanics.....
/sigh
This is gonna be a long 5 months.

Super Blog Fail

(PS-- [at the top of the page. whatever] Tried to post this last night, seeing as it's about last night but blogger wanted to have a pity party and pout in a corner all by it's lonesome....so I left it. So here's my story about yesterday)

Screw Disney "College Program".
This is freaking BOOT CAMP. Boot camp that doesn't have the satisfaction of actually being called "boot camp". I'm tellin' ya, challenge me to an arm wrestle in January and YOU WILL BE PWNED. Epically. But of course you won't because that would be terribly humiliating for you. It's ok. I understand.
But seriously. Muscles--burning. I just need to start doing situps with the racks of glass cups over my head. Then I'll be set for life.

Anyway. Speaking of life, it keeps getting progressively weirder the longer I stay in this screwed-up state (Sorry, JT. Don't mean to be dissin' but....seriously. It's funky here). Let's run through my day, shall we?

I WENT TO CHURCH!! [insert happy face]
I DIDN'T PLAY THE PIANO!! [insert depression of the utmost degree] Turns out the ward I plan on attending (because I am not, NOT people, not going to be hangin' out with all the cali singles) is held at the stake center which is really difficult for stupid people to find. Stoopid such as myself. So I ended up riding my bike for at least a mile more than I meant to. In my dress. Cuz I'm stoopid.
Basically, something about my super charming and awesome personality threw Google maps WAY off and it totally led me astray.
Curse you, google maaaaps!! /shakes-fist
I went south when I shoulda gone north.....about half a mile. The road I was thinking the church was on just kinda....ended. I got off my bike, starting to get all sweaty and tired and stared at the big building that blocked my way.
Turned around and there was--Oscar.
Who is Oscar, might you ask? Well, I shall tell you imaginary-inquisitive-person. Oscar is the extremely friendly, consequently creepy mexican fellow biker that I met this morning. Here's how that experience went:
[turns around] Oh! A person! goodness, didn't even know he was there.....
Stranger-with-thick-accent: Hai! You ride bicycle?
Me: Uh, yeah, haha.....
WHY does this keep happening to me?!
Stranger: What s'your name?
Crapcrapcrapcrap....uhhhh /uncomfortable-with-situation
Me: Um, Hope....
[Look from stranger like he just swallowed a bug and didn't understand how it got inside his mouth...]
Me: Er, Esperanza?
[Lightbulb for stranger]
Stranger: Ahh! Esperanza! Me llamo es Oscar
Oh no. Don't start spouting spanish. Please oh please...
Oscar: You ride bicycle?
Me: Yeah, I'm trying to find church.
(Apparently language barriers makes my english take a steep plummet into terrible)
Oscar: Oh? Wheech wh-one?
Me: Um, LDS?
(I also only speak in questions)
[Oscar swallows another bug]
Me: ...Mormon...
[choking on bug]
Oscar: You Chreestian?
Me: Yeah.
Oscar: Ahh, I catholic.
(Except he says it so fast it sounds like cathleek)

At this point I'm done caring about Oscar and his religious beliefs and he's kinda creepin' me out and I'm wondering if he's ever gonna leave.
So I pull out my phone and call boyfriend.
Oscar kept on talkin' and I just went on walkin'. He ended up disappearing at some point. I was too busy listening to exact directions of how I went so awfully wrong from boyfriend, who is much better at google maps and all things techy than I am (I'm a music major, he's a data technician for godaddy. Am I really to blame?).
EVENTUALLY, I found the church building (and the walmart directly across the street...). Went inside and found myself surrounded by tongans and old couples.
This ward is gonna be awesome!! I'm actually really excited. It was fast sunday so I got a good taste of what the people are like. All the people who introduced themselves to me automatically knew I was a disney intern, which I found funny.
Went back home, took a quick nap then headed to work from 6:30-1:30am
First of all, I had one bus stop buddy. A homeless hoarder man who constantly drooled into his lap and stared at me over the top of his sunglasses....
[insert anxious bouncy leg and quick furtive glances down the road, praying for the bus to appear]
Once the bus finally did appear, I had to laugh. Out loud. On the screen that displays the route number and cross streets headed to, it also would flash "I'm here for you".
Um....
What the heck kinda message is that?! Either it's super cheesy and tacky, or incredibly creepy and morbid! But, I laughed. Cuz it was funny.
Further down the road, we passed a hotel and the nice perfectly manicured lawns/shrubbery that accompany nice places such as these.....
Lying on the grass, was a man, totally zonked out, sleeping with his head propped up on his backpack. That made me giggle too, and then I noticed the sprinklers that were wetting down the other patch of grass and wished that I could just camp out at the curb and watch for when the system switched over to where Mr. Snooze-pants lay. I wished quite badly.
AT work, I may have mentioned that I'm one of very few girls assigned to Main Kitchen. I'm constantly working with guys my age, and older men. Which is fine by me, doesn't make a difference whatsoever in how I work, but them? I can't tell if they're trying to be chivalrous or just simply show off.
I was scrubbing down some pans handed to me by Uri (oo-ree), tossing them into the rinse tub when Adam got back from his break (Adam is the short-built-attractive kid who drove me home).
He immediately asks, "Need to switch out or anything, Hope?"
I snorted and simply said, "I'm fine."
Really? Really? I'm scrubbing pans. It's not like I'm hauling away, pick-axing at a mine shaft in a stuffy cave with poisonous air filling my lungs. I half wanted to retort, "Look, we're in a kitchen. That's my terrain anyway, isn't it??"
But he was just being nice. I just hate feeling like I gotta prove I can keep up with the "big, strong men" with my lowly "wimpy" woman arms. Dumb.
Then there was this funny moment where all three of us were in the groove of pot room; Adam would spray down the dishware, Uri would scrub and I'd rinse/sanitize/stack and put away. Uri really got into the swing of things and was a washing machine. But at one point he handed off this pan with a little present inside; the rough, green scrubber. He swung back to the next dirty pan like a robot and his hand automatically went to where his brain said the scrubber should be but I watched as there was that moment of complete confusion when it wasn't there. I tossed it back over and he looked up in surprise and laughed.
Nice, friendly kid.
We'll see if I actually connect with anybody while I'm out here. As of yet, I don't really care much.
Anyway. Um, now I'm home and blogging and it's after 3 am. My neck hurts, my feet are cold and my eyelids are sagging. Hopefully the next two days go quickly so I can go see World of Color on wednesday and thursday! Woohoo!!

Life is good :) <3