You'll love Shutterflys award-winning photo books. Try it today.
Shutterfly is weird. This is my first time making a whole book through them and as much as I loved it, there were lots of frustrations and annoyances. But! They did let me post the book to this blog (that Mark hardly ever reads but as you probably noticed I included a warning). Although, I added a "description" with the post but obviously that isn't here. Only their shameless plug made it onto the blog. So now I'm descripting! (I know it's describing, calm your bloomers) I made this photo book for Mark's birthday coming up in July of some of the adventures we've had in our relationship. I'm pretty happy with the result and I just gotta share it with somebody! Can't wait the 3 weeks or so till his birthday. So if ya care... Enjoy :)
I've noticed I'm putting an inordinate amount of statuses (why can't it be 'statusi', that is a much more enjoyable word) on Facebook because, well the hilarity just keeps coming and it must be shared (hint: sarcasm). So I decided today I wasn't gonna clog up the summer news feed and just leave open a blog draft, adding in my quips of the day as they come.
You're welcome.
8:19 Doing the same five step process anywhere over fifteen times in a row first thing in the morning is just asking for disaster. Clean-up aisle Brain, please?
9:54 The easiest way to tell how interested and/or dedicated I am to something is the length of time it takes for the webpage to load. "Oh, hm an article on the Senate and NSA and stuff <click>.......[loading] never mind." Waiting for Senor Gif however, I can spare a minute or two of waiting.
Priorities. You're doing them wrong.
I feel I shouldn't just leave that one hanging. The radio alone does a good enough job of enlightening me to the real, legitimate (albeit horrifying) news and my husband is an avid NPR listener so we talk a good amount about these things that are going on in our society today. Just...FYI before anybody goes cray-cray on me. Just laugh and give me the benefit of the doubt that I'm not as stupid as I make myself out to be. 10-12
I turned into a marketing intern for a couple hours here and these were my series of thoughts;
"I have been entrusted with the almighty guillotine....who made that decision?"
"Well sure, I guess, lemme just rearrange my entire desk here to fit this project in..."
"How many pages can I do at a time? Wow, not even three? That's disappointing."
"PAPERCUT!! False alarm, it's fine. We're good." I feel like the second a papercut happens it's the worst nondangerous pain we humans know and almost immediately it's okay but the panic remains. Almost like you expect to look down and find your hand sporting only four fingers. So that happened. Not the finger lossage, just the panic.
"I guess maybe I should care that I'm half humming half mumble-singing along to pandora with my one earbud in but it's just impossible to NOT sing harmony with the likes of Christina Perri, Regina Spektor, and so forth."
"Sometimes songs come up that aren't exactly what I'd expect from a particular station, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna thumbs down 'That's What Makes You Beautiful' between Linkin Park and Breaking Benjamin." That's an unfortunate exaggeration, what a glorious moment that would be if that happened. But that song does come up on my Christina Perri station and I have to admit, it's a bit of a guilty pleasure tune for me.
3:33 "What is going to happen to my life when I run out of talk shows to watch on youtube? Who am I kidding, endless youtube funnel of interview happiness!!" Speaking of which, just finished watching a clip of RDJ and Jude Law doing an interview together and the bromance is just heartwarming.
I hope that's the right video. I don't know if that drag photo is for real but apparently Jude can pull off any gender. 3:44 "CURSE YOU INTERNET EXPLORER. I didn't wanna do any work anyway. Booooo."
Well, it's almost closing time. I hate blogging from my phone so I guess that wraps up this dumb post. I don't know about you, dear reader, but all I've gleaned from this experience is that I'm much more terribly addicted to social media than I previously believed. And I knew it was bad. Whoopsie.
I just read an extremely wrong and offensive (in a very light meaning of the word) buzzfeed article and I mean to address it. For reference, you can find the piece of literature trash here. Go, and be as sorely disappointed with the list as I am.
If you are too lazy and don't wish to follow my convenient link, in short, some pastey white man in a dark, dank basement with no sense of film appreciation spouted a preposterous list of "10 Disney Films you totally forgot about". And it struck such an opposing chord within me that I feel the need to speak out against his horrid slander.
He is, of course, entitled to his own (*cough*slandery) opinion but I certainly did not forget about roughly 80% of these movies so up yours pastey white basement man! (I have no idea this mans living conditions nor do I have any insight into his appearance other than a tiny thumbnail of the back of his head and a sliver of face included in the article) (but that's what I picture) (carry on).
Numero Uno; THE BLACK CAULDRON
Actually, I'll give him this one. Most people really don't know much about this movie. But I sincerely love it and the dark, twisty slant on it is/was one of the parts that drew me to it. It's different, it's unique, it's much more fantastically real than some of the more classic Disney movies. It's grim and delightful and Gurgi is a little ray of sunshiney inspiration.
But it is not forgotten!
Two;
THE GREAT MOUSE DETECTIVE
Basil was one of those animated, un-human characters that I developed some inexplicable, possibly psychologically-unstable crushes on as a kid. (also included in that list, Simba from Lion King) (don't know why I feel the need to include the movie in there, there aren't too many Simbas...)
He admits that the movie doesn't really have many flaws but that it just wasn't recognized by the audiences when it came out. It has great heart and a dastardly villain with a surprisingly relatable "human" hero. Not human as in homo sapien but rather "real" and "flawed". Plus, the gears-in-the-clock fight scene is quite the heart pounder.
Three;
OLIVER AND COMPANY
/ahem, sooo...I've actually never seen this movie. cringe. It's bad, I know! I can't say anything for this movie other than I love puppies and kitties and I hear the musical "Oliver" stinks to high heaven (from the orchestra's perspective). Also, it seems reminiscent to "All Dogs Go To Heaven", another "forgotten movie" that I happen to love most ardently.
So. Merp for oliver.
Four;
RESCUERS DOWN UNDER
My dear, good, kind sir....you are just so WRONG about this movie!! I mean GUH! In my own, humble opinion this "tepid" sequel is better than the original Rescuers! Penny's cute and all but Medusa and her dumb alligators got nothing on McLeach and Joanna.
I mean honestly now...
My husband and I practically use quotes from this movie as an actual language to each other. Mostly from Frank the lizard but whatever. I digress.
Fifthly;
DINOSAUR
Aaaahhhh, phooey. I mean, this wasn't the best thing ever I'll admit. But I have a distinct memory from years ago when we lived in Utah, leaping about in the snow with my sisters in our swimming suits imitating the jumping lemurs. He does have a point however, with the over-attention paid to the animation and the plot/characters suffering a bit because of it. So...I'll allow it.
Sixth;
FANTASIA 2000
I cannot convey to you how my poor heart sank when I saw this movie on the list. I mentioned it on facebook and I'mma say it again, but I literally watch this movie every couple months at least. I hold it so near and dear to my heart along with the original Fantasia that is JUST as fantastic for other reasons. Perhaps it's my double-whammy nerd-dom of all things Disney as well as orchestra music but I kid you not I cry tears of joy uninhibited multiple times during this movie so Mr. Poop Reviewer can just stuff his face into a thick pile of steaming dung and leave it there.
Seven;
ATLANTIS: THE LOST EMPIRE
Mole. Kidagashmaga. "I swim good, pretty girl, pretty good! Pretty good, I swim pretty good." Leonard Nimoy. "You got anything sporty? Like a tuna?" Michael J. Fox. Professor Whitmore doing yoga. "Kitty. I'm home." Everything Milo says and does. The ending. The flight-fight sequence. Rourke's terrifying transformation. Everything about this movie is so wonderful. I don't understand their argument anyway, the animation is fine and nothing short of what we've all come to expect from Disney but it doesn't overshadow the story/characters like it did in "Dinosaur". I call cop-out redundant excuse and only the best people haven't forgotten this movie.
Eight;
TREASURE PLANET
"Can it. You little liar. (explanation)" B.E.N. is the best thing about this movie aside from Morph...and Dr. Doppler (David Hyde Pierce? I mean COME ON!)...and the soundtrack....and Joseph Freaking Gordon-Levitt. And Cap'n Amelia's boots! Golly there's not much I wouldn't do for a pair of those babies.
"Was I ever dancing with an android named LUPE??!" Martin Short is fabulous and that robot gets me laughing so hard I can't breathe and tears are streaming down my face. Treasure Planet is clever, upbeat, inspiring, and DANG if Jimbo don't look dashing in his military getup at the end of the movie. Om nom nom.
Ninthsicle;
BROTHER BEAR
What is this picture? I'm pretty sure that's the second movie or something. Regardless. THE MOOSE. Meese. Moosen. Oh, my gosh those two moose are comedy gold and the lesson laid out in this movie is well-done as well as realistic. Kenai goes on an emotional journey we are all familiar with and his resistance to learn is so very human it's downright frustrating. The best characters are the ones who change and Kenai goes through so many of them you may get dizzy.
And again, I'm a sucker for music and that tribal stuff really gets my blood pumpin'.
And Ten;
HOME ON THE RANGE
Unfortunately we end with one in which I mostly agree with him. I have never forgotten the movie but I definitely have a hard time recalling anything about it right now other than the psychedelic, neon, LSD trip that the cows take when the villain(?) guy yodels or something. I think I enjoyed the grumpy goat. Maybe.
So there are my feelings on this article I stumbled upon. Now I suppose I should get back to real work and leave the interwebz alone for a bit.
How do you guys feel about all this? Is it really just me or is this guy a total fart brain?
Forewarning; Don't bring your sexist woes here. This is pertaining to my life specifically and I'm happy with it so don't be twisting my words and getting all offended because I'm defining gender roles. Don't do it. No. Stahp.
Randomly, a few weeks ago, my husband had an outburst about the stupidity of salad spinners. I believe we were in Bed, Bath, and Beyond perusing the aisles for one last thing to buy with our leftover, wedding gift-card money. In the kitchen area we passed some pretty, neon green salad spinners and Mark spouts off on a rant; "these are the stupidest invention ever" and "I just don't understand" being his main complaints. I'm just smiling and letting him steam because I don't want a salad spinner so it's okay that he hates them. But then he mentions the tiny amount of time it takes to toss a salad and I stop to look at him.
He looks back at me.
His face goes blank and I inhale slowly.
"Salad spinners aren't for tossing the salad, honey."
His face remains blank.
"It's so you can rinse the lettuce and veggies, stick 'em in one bowl and fling the excess water off using centrifugal force."
He blinks.
"Oh. Well, that's kinda cool."
We still don't own a salad spinner, though.
[addition 6/13/2013] [because this is apparently a thing I'm doing now]
Another reason I'm the woman....
So here's me this morning, flinging clothes about trying to find my white shrug that works with any freaking outfit. It's the most versatile thing in my closet, fo realz. Mark's laying in bed cuz he got the rest of the week off for "good behavior", aka doing a buttload of work and really impressing the higher ups (he's pretty great, I know), and he goes,
"Whatcha lookin' for honey?"
"This!" I exclaim as I hold it up triumphantly and begin to pull it on.
"Your shawl?"
"Haha, it's not a shawl." "It's a shawl with sleeves." "So basically any shirt then?" "No, shirts go down past your waist."
"Shawls can get pretty big too, ya know." "Those are just blankets."
/facepalm
So there you have it. Shawl, shirt, or blanket. There is no in between.
I recently, as in five minutes ago, posted a status on facebook. It went something like this (and by something I mean word-for-word cuz I'mma copy/paste that bugger right. now.)
"I can't adequately explain the crushing annoyance I feel when I'm listening to my Ola Gjielo station on Pandora and a live-recorded song comes up and it's a freaking cough-fest in the audience. If you have the tickles in your throat at a choral concert you better silently book it outside holding your mouth like you're about to puke all over the row in front of you because that's basically what you're doing. Ruining it for everyone."
Take heed and be warned. Just wanted to reiterate that for those of you who aren't privvy to my facebook eloquencies. Apparently half that sentence isn't even real words. Harrumph.
But then I got thinking about Pandora and how much I seriously love it. Seriously, fo rizzle dizzle, assuredly. I love experimenting in music and getting to hear things I normally wouldn't be exposed to or hear of is delightful to my inner hipster.
Last week Mark and I were out for date night at the 5 and Diner (can't get enough of that place, we even went withOUT a groupon!) and we were discussing Pandora. He didn't believe my claim that none of my 25 stations are superfluous and each of them have something unique to offer. He literally demanded I hand over my phone so he could go through the list and point out stations that are too similar. For your reference, here is that list in chronological order of creation;
Owl City
Christina Perri
Hans Zimmer
Alan Menken
Eric Whitacre
Paramore
Sky Sailing
Pendulum
Dubstep
James Horner
Ola Gjielo (still currently listening, mmm, so lovely)
Mumford & Sons
Linkin Park
Bluegrass Banjo
Jess' Playlist*
Winston's Playlist*
Cece's Playlist*
DragonForce
Enya
Christmas
Walt Disney
Michael Buble
I Got Rhythm
The Piano Guys
(* shared stations from "New Girl" characters)
His first complaint was against 'The Piano Guys' and 'Michael Buble'. DO YOU EVEN MUSIC?? Because that's not even...NO. I think I just stared at him incredulously and said something like, "You're dumb. I'm not even going to...next."
He didn't even know who James Horner WAS and tried to say it was too similar to Hans Zimmer. Way to generalize; movie soundtracks, they MUST be the same!
Enya vs. Eric Whitacre? I'm sorry, what?!
Do you guys see what I have to deal with?
In all seriousness, I have looked over my stations a lot lately feeling like I have too many but it's like trying to throw out clothes. Suddenly I have an inexplicable, life-changing attachment to that particular station and the genre of music it spews forth.
In conclusion, I like my music and all my stations and shutup, leave me alone.
It really is sometimes. Gets me into all kindsa trouble. I used to just not say anything, ever, but that wasn't any fun. It all flooded out in high school creating a loud and obnoxious immature me. I got a little better in college, picking and choosing who and when I spoke out around.
It's not always foolproof. Hardly ever, actually.
For example, today at work; it was Senior Ditch Day so classes were pretty small and intimate compared to the usual chaos. In third hour, we were in the middle of a song when the choir director puts a hand on my shoulder, apparently reacting to a student in the choir and mentioned that I would be leaving this job for a new one. Some kids hadn't heard yet and there was a wave of reaction.
Trevor shouted out, "What if we get a petition?! Will you stay??" I assume he was kidding, because that's not why I'm leaving but I opened my blabber mouth and blurted out,
"If you guys wanna pay for my house and babies, then sure! I'll stay."
Immediately I knew that wouldn't translate the way I meant it; simply that I need to be saving up much more money than I'm earning currently so we can pay for these future events, such as house ownership and parenting. I tried to backpedal and shouted, "NO!" but it was far too late. The uproar of "You're pregnant!!?" "HOPE!" "Oh my gosh, Hope's pregnant!" drowned out any denial I tried to procure.
I hid my head in shame and just laughed at the absurdity.
Mr. J lays his hand on my shoulder again and consoles me, "Just let it slip, didn't you."
"No, but really! I'm not!!"
They finally started to believe me once my face had shaded to a nice, ripe cherry. We tried to get singing again but that song was toast after my non-slip-up debacle.
In conclusion, NO BABIES in the near and foreseeable future.
Also in the category of my communication issues, I have finally bit the proverbial bullet and gotten myself a gym membership! I'm pretty excited about it and that Mark found it important enough to allot room in our money budget. He's so good about working out at home that the gym-mentality doesn't register with him but for ME, it's much more enjoyable.
So today I had my first meeting with the trainer and I was so pumped about going I got there a little early and stepped in for the step class currently going on. I made it about 20 minutes into the 45 minute class.
I'm so out of shape, it's depressing. There were 80 year old women kicking my trash in that step class. High five to them, thumbs down to me.
So I'm a wimp at step, I tried to jog a little bit but that made my breathing raspy and painful. So I wimped out on that too. I checked in and they called for my assigned trainer over the PA. So I sat and waited and felt guilty for my lack of cool-down. My pulse pounded through my whole body and my palms itched. Familiar, and I knew I should just get up and pace a little bit.
At 6 my trainer found me and let me in on what we'd be doing, she said, "We're gonna fill out this quick start form and since you've already warmed up we can skip straight to the workout."
I don't know why exactly, but I'd been under the impression we were just gonna talk about goals and my body issues and then she'd lead me around the gym and run over machines or something.
Luckily we were sitting for a while and I got my breathing and pulse back to normal. Then we went over a bunch of goals just like I thought. But the questions they ask are just ridiculous. What is your purpose in coming to the gym?
Well, I want to get below 140 pounds. What will achieving your goal do for you?
Erm, I guess I'll feel better? Look better. Why is this important to you?
How about because I don't wanna be fat. I made up something like I wanna make good habits now.
They made a big deal about my husband supporting me "100%" in my endeavors. Like any minute I'm gonna say "Ah, nah he thinks it's a waste of time and I should be donning my apron and baking an apple pie once I've hung up all the laundry and swept the doorstep." Of course he wants me to be my healthiest and feel good about my body. Neither of us is happy when I'm all self-conscious. It was the second time this gym had questioned me about it and I was tempted to make some snide comment but I merely replied, "Yes, of course he does." And then she asks if he has a membership and it all makes sense. Stupid sneaky gyms.
It was all a bunch of psychological mumbo-jumbo and I had no idea how to answer most of it, she prompted me continually.
It's not a big deal, I'm perfectly healthy, I just feel the need to be better so I'm going to be. There's no deeper, underlying meaning behind it. I'm just shallow and wanna lose some weight. The end.
It was really great though, I've got that good kind of sore going on and my trainer was friendly and fun to work with. Very helpful.
I came home and sliced off a bit of wheat bread to have with a slice of cheese and a big salad, lots of crunchy and minimal dressing. I drink water when I'm feeling munchy, or I eat baby carrots/celery sticks and then if I'm still munchy I find a small indulgent snack.
I'm not gonna say this time is different, cuz it's not. I just barely started being good about eating and today was my first day back in the gym so I'm still on the new routine high. We'll see how this goes and hopefully me being public about it might hold me a little more accountable. Both on this blog and in going to an actual gym. I should probably take pictures to catalog it for myself, but I won't be sharing those beauts with y'all. Maybe once/if I get to a good place and I'll do a before and after.
Like I said, "we'll see".
I am freaking out too hard core right now for this to be a facebook post so here are my thoughts, second time through the new THOR movie trailer;
0:04- Gee, I hope this isn't fan made and I got my hopes up for nothing... 0:09 lol floating bus? 0:16 Are we to the slow-motion explosions already? 0:17 Maybe not... 0:19 Wait, go back!! Was that Padme or not?! I'm sorry, uh...Natalie Portman. Whatever. 0:24 floating black iceberg of DOOM!! 0:25 Darcy! Yay!! 0:34 about here began the gasping/squealing/clapping of hands 0:49 bringin' the girlyfriend home to meet the fambam, eh Thor? 0:55 erm, is she dying during childbirth again?? Keep it together woman. 0:57 Batman's pissed he's so left out. 1:17 Katie and the cursed jewelry in Harry Potter, anyone? 1:20 No. NO! Why is Thor kneeling and sad?! Why?? 1:27 Ooh, ooh! Yes! Tom Hiddleston! 1:36 Can't even hate him for how much I respect/admire his acting. To end: NERDGASM!!
K, I have been DYING since the end of the first movie when they just leave the romantic involvement hanging. I got weirdly and unnecessarily attached to Thor/Jane (Thane? Thorane, Janthor...merp) for who knows why. I love love loved the first one and my heart is literally still pounding even after having typed all this after watching that sneak peek. I totally missed when it's even coming out.
OVTOBER!!??
I mean october but that's what I typed Im' so excited. I'm screwing up all over the plce. EXCITED PHILANGES!!
Halloween is going to be wonderful this year. Wonderful indeed!
Second time I've quoted that exact line from Mulan today. Probably fifth time this week. It's whatever. Mushu is my spirit animal.
"Dragon, DRAGON, not lizard. I don't do that tongue thing. Thhhhhhh!"
Sorry. Moving on.
Quickly, because I only have until my husband gets back from his dad's to finish this post and we wash the truck. Ack!
So here's the musical;
The end.
No, but really, it was so much more fun than I was anticipating. I had originally tried to turn down doing the musical this year but that lasted a couple weeks before they came crawling back begging. Or maybe I did. Who knows. Also, that costume was not my idea. The guys went and found the jackets at a costume shop and demanded that I rent the matching "dress" as well.
I've never had more fun with a "pit" than this year and I think we looked rather smashing. Not to mention they taught me how to jazz! I'm getting better! Huzzah!!
Now, this here's the perfect example of why I LOVE thrifting. Love, love, love it! Through my [almost] previous job I get to know some of the best people by accompanying for them and they are [almost] always so kind and give me the most wonderful 'thank you's'. Most recently, the Parkers gave me a $25 gift card to Nordstrom's. Now that money was burning a blazing hole in my skinny wallet and yesterday my mom accompanied me to the nearest Nordstrom's where I got this shirt.
I forgot to take a real picture so here's me currently in it sitting and blogging;
I haven't yet decided if it's meant as "activewear"...goshdangit!! Mark just called. He's already headed back. BUMMERNUT.
Life! Y U no let me blog?!
Well, now that I'm all wet.
SO! That shirt right up there came out to $34.82 and so with my gift card I only paid less than $10. Score, right?
That right there depicts the two work dresses, one maxi/baby-bump dress, two skirts, and two shirts that I got at Goodwill today; for $32.78. Not to mention the miscellaneous treasures I couldn't pass up. Eleven times the product for the same price. Less than that even. Like, say wut??
Apparently I'm committing to learning how to make "fancy" tarts. As opposed to slummy tarts. These are fancy ones. Also we love soup and large bowls so a large bowl that has handles and the word SOUP on both sides is $1 well spent. Got a cute belt and there was a chameleon beanie baby named Iggy that I identified with so I had to bring him home. He may get called "Pascal" more often than "Iggy" but whatever. Another $0.39 well spent.
Now we're off for a evening of homemade cooking and board gaming with the bestest of friends and I'm already slap-happy-tired from this busy day.
At least I remembered to transfer the wet laundry to the dryer before we leave. Woot.
I am DYING to talk about this. Out loud. With people. Because obviously my husband's ear is about to fall off from all my stressed out rambling. Only, it's not quite appropriate for me to spread the news just yet. But everything finally started happening today so I'm just gonna talk about it now while it's still fresh and post later when I can.
And with that, I HAVE A NEW JOB!!
I'm putting the double life on the shelf and simplifying things in anticipation of house-buying and kid-making. I love, L-O-V-E, working with the choir kiddos and I can't really think too much about leaving or I get heart palpitations. It's an absolute dream come true, but other dreams are taking priority for now. Not to mention I've had a genuine good time learning so much at my retail job for GMS Tactical. I'm leaving some very good things for (hopefully) something better.
It may not be what one would call a "dream job" or what I'm necessarily passionate about but it will provide us with much needed stability and job consistency (not to mention some heftier paychecks).
And I have some wonderful friends to thank for it. Thank goodness for word of mouth and recommendations. I waited almost two weeks to hear if I could get an interview with this company and this past wednesday while I was out at the garden for my biology class I got a call from Tanner that they wanted me to come in for the highly anticipated interview!! ....the next day. Panic!
Thursday was one of the most stressful days of my life. I won't delve much into that because it's messy, long, and will only accentuate the already present splitting headache invading my private head space. The day did end though, and I was no closer to knowing if I had a new job and a better ticket to fulfilling some of our dreams as a family. At the interview they told me I needed to go to a clinic to complete a drug test and physical exam as well as get a copy of my diploma and social security card to them. I had absolutely no time left on thursday to complete those tasks before the day was over and prepared myself for a hectic morning today. It felt like too much to hope that being asked to do all those things was a good sign and we decided to not call it anything and not think about it or talk about it.
So this morning! I woke up with Mark and realized I probably shouldn't wash my hair if I wanted it to be curly for the Grease show tonight. Heh, irony. After getting my hair in some semblance of a retro-do and gathering up the essentials I'd need for going straight from work to the show. I made it to the clinic about fifteen minutes after it opened and the waiting room was already occupied by about thirteen people. Goodness gracious. Luckily my wait time was said to be a total of an hour and thirty minutes which fit perfectly into my tight schedule for the morning.
But then it got weird, and mostly awkward. The nurse lady I got was indian or some sort of eastern brand of foreign and I didn't understand most of what she said, not to mention she was very abrupt and never faced me when she spoke to me so I never knew when she was telling me to do something or talking into her super sneaky hidden micophone walkie-talkie thingmabob. Also, everyone has mega shifty-eyes around the drug-screening pee bathroom. Like we can't own up to the fact that yes, we are handing someone a tiny bucket of our own urine without going red-faced. A man passed by me while I was doing said pee-handoff and his eyes looked everywhere but at my own. She led me to another room where I stood on a scale and she took my weight and height before I had a chance to realize I was slouching like a sad, wilted plant. Then the blood pressure test which I HATE and have/will always HATE. The necessary tightness of it stresses me out and it kinda hurts when the blood gets pumping through there. Then she actually handed me the thermometer to take my own temperature, like what? I am fine with you putting that in my mouth, why do I need to be trusted with that particular chore? Which I should not have been because you know what happened? I didn't pay attention to the fact that it was attached to the cart by a very tightly wound springy cord and the second my fingers fumbled just a tad it went flying back with great crashing noises. But she didn't scowl like I expected, she laughed a little. And I felt better.
Then she asks if I wear glasses or contacts and I know; the dreaded eye exam is up next. I am SO bad with these it's terrible. I stress out and panic and miss all the instructions so then they probably think I'm legitimately blind because I just don't answer.
And there you have our whole exchange. Except a lot more of,
"Oh wait, my hair's in the way..." (remember I'm all retro today, it's great)
"Um, I think it disappeared...."
"Oh, no I just scoot down, okay got it."
"Uhh, they're all the same? I guess, right?" optical illusions are the worst. They're changing! I don't know which one sticks out more!!
"8, 16, 354, and uhhh...a bunch of squiggley lines?" By the time I get to the end of it I'm just mocking myself and my inability to function and you know what she says?
"Oh, there isn't a number on that last one, it is just squiggles."
Only it wasn't. Rude.
She then leads me down the hall, around a corner, down another hall and into an examination room with the crinkley paper table and a funny lookin' medical-ish recliner. She invites me to take a seat but just as I'm squatting my bum over the chair she goes,
"Oops! No, you're supposed to have an audiogram as well, this way please."
Back down the hall around the same corner, down the same hall, and around another corner and into a small room with a large metal box in it rigged, I should think, to look exactly like the electric chair from "The Green Mile".
K, not totally but it had the same effect on my stress levels. I've had lots of problems with my ears in this lifetime and I was not anticipating a remarkable score on this particular test.
I sat and watched her mouth move as she gave me instructions but I couldn't hear over the sound of my own panic rising and taking up all the space in the teeny tiny box I was now being shut into. The back of the door had a million little holes in it probably so the scratch marks wouldn't show of previous torturees but if I looked at any inner surface of the box it would begin to swim and swirl as my vision went crazy from the illusion. But if I shut my eyes I lost concentration and involuntarily began day dreaming and kept missing the impossibly soft little "bleeps" in the vise-like headphones wrapped around my skull that meant I was supposed to press the clicker that would probably engage the electrical current sequence. My right ear took eternities and there was a lot of silence for my left ear.
She finally freed me from my avant garde vertical casket and took me back to the examination room and left me there. I waited and was determined to not pull my phone out and pass the time with facebook or pinterest because I was convinced it was a test to see if my attention span was adequate or just plain pitiful.
Go figure, turns out it's pitiful.
The doctor I had looked remarkably like the wise ancient turtle sensei in Kung Fu Panda...
Only less grandfatherly and more pedofile-ish.
In all fairness he was very pleasant and didn't waste time blabbering. Asked the necessary questions, looked in my ears and remarked, "I'm surprised your hearing test went so well, looking at these scars in both your ears..." which more than surprised me. I guess the nervous twitch in my clicker hand did me well.
He waved a bright light in my face multiple times, confusing me with instructions to either not look or do look, follow the light, but never told me before he started the exercise.
Suddenly, and terribly randomly, he points to my arm and spouts off all this medical jargon that ending in "eczema". Apparently I have very minor, subtle skin irritations on my arms that make it look slightly red beneath my freckles. It won't necessarily get worse or effect me in any way I just get to be self conscious about it for the rest of my life, same as Mr. Regan's uneven eyes.
He had me stand up and breathe with his little stethoscope on my chest and for whatever insane reason I made eye contact that he reciprocated. For the whole entire first breath we just STARED. It was intense. I never faltered. He broke to go around back and have a listen there as well and I felt proud of my snippet of backbone. Then I realized how unnecessary and weird that really was and wondered why I did it.
All in all, turns out I'm the picture of health and they sent me on my way with a bunch of paperwork to give the new company I was interviewing with.
I immediately headed back to my interview site to hand over the requested items and while I was there, something amazing happened.
They told me I was hired!! So long as the background check and drug screen go well. I will be more shocked than anybody if they don't. I beamed all the way out the door and to my car and out of the parking lot on my way to a costume shop to pick up a piece of necessary clothing for the show tonight and tomorrow night. More on that later.
I felt so good and so happy driving away from Maxis, knowing I'd worked very hard to get those simple words, "We would like to bring you on the team". I hit preset station 6 on my radio and heard the very last syllable of a commercial and the very beginnings of my absolute favorite song start up.
My JAM was playing right after I got the coveted job. It was like my very own movie moment. I pumped my fist, I squealed, I danced and I sang. It was a happy moment. I went and picked up the costume, I could afford it even with our current restrictions and on my way to get lunch before work, my boss texted me and let me know I could have the day off. Save money on food and go home for a few hours?
WHAT IS HAPPENING?!
Prayers are great things guys :)
I'm doing laundry for the first time in like, 3 weeks and I'm actually blogging! A nice, long (maybe too much, eh?), detailed post about important things! Oh, it feels good to be me today.
It certainly feels good.
Also, here's a conversation with my husband I just wanted to share, for some reason. I don't even remember what it's about as I'm typing this, I just know there's a screenshot on my phone that I wanted to post in this...
Oh, right! My husband asked for veggies, guys!! Yes, he wants ranch with them, but still! Ve-ge-ta-bulls.
He ate all the yummy snacks, though. Boo.
So last year the hubster and I joined Disney Movie Club and we are absolutely loving it! The deals and the movies and all the disney lovin' is makin' me quite happy and he likes it when I'm happy so everyone's happy. Win-win ;)
Also you can earn up points for some pretty sweet things. Obviously the sweetest things will take years and years and years. But anyway. We like it, alright?
We recently preordered Wreck-It Ralph (best decision evar) and it came as a package deal with Finding Nemo and a cool 3-D Card.
But the BEST part was the special offer with the Wreck-It Ralph purchase code; they let you use the code to buy the movie soundtrack and download it for $5.25!! I'm a total soundtrack fangirl and Wreck-It Ralph is one of the best in a long time. Also I die for some Owl City. Yesh pleashe! Mark said it was okay and I just spent the last hour running around the house and bouncing off the walls excited. Minus the 5 minutes where my wallet went all AWAL MIA. Rude. But I found it! No worries.
I downloaded the music and promptly picked "When Can I See You Again" to dance around like a luny lunatic.
Then Mark let me in on a little secret.
Apparently...you can put music from your computer onto your phone and make RINGTONES out of it!!
See above gifs.
That was my face and actions for 15 straight minutes while he helped me figure it out. I literally sat with my phone increasing the ringtone length by 0.5 second increments to get it to sound exactly right. Mark had to finally convince me, "that one sounds great!"
"That last one? At 80.72?"
"Yeah, it's perfect....oookay you're changing it again."
"I just wanna get the downbeat right! The chord isn't quite finished..."
"Yes! There! Perfect."
"80.74? Yeah, okay. It's great. Do I save it?"
I then made him immediately call me and danced some more to my new awesome Owl City from Wreck-It Ralph ringtone that sounds slightly dubstepped when my phone's laying on a flat surface because of the vibrate but whatevs.
Mine and Mark's reaction to Elder Ballard's tomato analogy; Mark: I want a garden... Me: Dude! You don't even know! I want one so baaaad....I guess his point is that you have a garden in your soul. Mark: Mm. I guess we're all tomatoes then. Me: haha! We're all just millions of tomatoes. Mark: Oh my gosh! That makes perfect sense!! I hate tomatoes!
I love my sweet little grumpy hermit husband. He's so not a people-person.
Disclaimer; we love Conference. I am so grateful to be a member of this church and this is one of my favorite weekends in the whole year. I believe and know that our leaders are inspired and called of our Heavenly Father and Elder Ballard's tomato story was wonderful.
We're just a little immature sometimes.
Please don't get your panties in a wad.
Here we goooo!! (in my head that sounds like Peter Pan when they all set off flying to Neverland, adjust accordingly in your own mind)
On Saturday we had a rip-roarin' blast up at Butcher Jones and Saguaro Lake. Mark and I had originally planned to go up Friday night and camp out but turns out I had some chores and he had some homework and adulthood stepped in and trashed that idea.
So Saturday morning we packed up the truck after I revamped some old jean shorts, and we were about to head on our way when....the truck wouldn't start. Boo. So we gave it a quick jump. Our poor Gunter ('91 GMC Jimmy) is having a rough time. He can't seem to figure out how to idle. Maybe he has parkinsons. I dunno. But the jump did the trick! So we went to Walmart to pick up the necessary Jones and ice. Camping and lake trips are just not complete without some good ol' Jones soda.
Apparently Mark has the bladder of a 90 year old woman and needed to take a potty break, leaving me in line to buy our few items. I moseyed over behind an elderly fellow hugging my 2 packs of Jones to my chest in an effort to not drop and destroy them. My exchange with the man in front of me went something like this...
"You're holdin' on to those pretty tight!"
"What? Oh yeah, haha. Gotta protect the goods!"
"Would you like to put them in my cart? They must be pretty heavy."
"Oh, I'm fine. Thank you though!"
"You can go on ahead. I'm waiting for my wife. Don't know where she ran off to..."
"Haha, it's easy to get lost around here...or just distracted." He went on to tell me about how usually she's the one waiting for him but now he doesn't know what to do because he has to wait. He was so very dear and darling. Funnily enough, I went from behind one old man to another. This guy was almost done checking out and when the cashier handed him his change a dime fell to the floor and was spinning on the floor behind him. I bent down to grab it and when I handed it to him he complimented me on my "good eye" and I had a hard time not replying, "good torso". Brian Regan has basically scripted my life.
Mark was back by now and when we went to the ice fridge to pick up our two bags there was one sad little layer of bags along the bottom. We looked at each other and Mark voiced both our thoughts; "Judging by the amount of ice in here..."
"This is gonna be fuuun..." I finished for him.
Spring break and the beautiful weather from the past couple days? I'm sure everybody had the same idea as us.
We put all the drinks and ice into the cooler and headed up Power and out of town. We were gettin' close and my stomach growled causing me to sit up straight and nearly shout, "OH! We forgot subway!"
"Crap, we did."
We looked across the street and whaddya know?
"Hey, look. Subway!"
We were both starving so we got footlongs each. They were wrapping up our sandwiches and "Celebration" was on over the speakers. I was feeling giddy and hyper so I started dancing right there in the Subway and humming along to the song. The lady at the cash register points at me and exclaims,
"You get a free cookie!"
They gave me a free raspberry cheesecake cookie just for dancing!! I couldn't believe it. She tried to get Mark to dance for a cookie but his cold blank stare was quite clear; there would be no dancing from him that day. Dear, dear husband of mine.
Loaded down with all the supplies any hopeful campers could dream of, off we headed into the wild blue yonder!
Yum, yum sammiches.
Lovely camping/beach chairs.
I meant to get a picture of Mark's chair,
it would sink down into the sand about 3 inches.
Really silly.
A bird got to my leftovers!!
RUDE.
Ahem....Noodle wars.
(boo. I will try uploading the video at a later time)
(stupid blogger.com)
Beach puppy.
Campfires aren't allowed at Butcher Jones so we needed to go on an adventure to find somewhere to cook our dinners and have some jolly arsonist fun. We had little faith in the hondas getting anywhere four wheeling back in the depths of Butcher Jones. So everybody had to pile into our already packed to the brim truck. But hey, lovebirds don't mind being cozy.
Screaming and laughing and crazy careening ensued.
Pretty soon we discovered that Alex was not having the time of his life. Allie asked if anything was wrong and he replied with this gem;
"When I get scared I grab myself and it's starting to hurt!"
Obviously he meant it innocently enough but there was raucous laughter for a full 3-4 minutes after that. Quote of the month, that is.
Soon after that, it was getting close to dark and we were no closer to finding a promising area. We knew we needed to get down into a wash but every fork we came to that led down appeared suicidal. We settled to just bonfire at the top of the hill. I myself was halfway down the hill to look for wood scraps when apparently everyone reconsidered and decided it would be better down at the bottom.
