Because a barrage is better than a trickle....

I've noticed I'm putting an inordinate amount of statuses (why can't it be 'statusi', that is a much more enjoyable word) on Facebook because, well the hilarity just keeps coming and it must be shared (hint: sarcasm). So I decided today I wasn't gonna clog up the summer news feed and just leave open a blog draft, adding in my quips of the day as they come.
You're welcome.

8:19 Doing the same five step process anywhere over fifteen times in a row first thing in the morning is just asking for disaster. Clean-up aisle Brain, please?

9:54 The easiest way to tell how interested and/or dedicated I am to something is the length of time it takes for the webpage to load. "Oh, hm an article on the Senate and NSA and stuff <click>.......[loading] never mind." Waiting for Senor Gif however, I can spare a minute or two of waiting.
Priorities. You're doing them wrong.

I feel I shouldn't just leave that one hanging. The radio alone does a good enough job of enlightening me to the real, legitimate (albeit horrifying) news and my husband is an avid NPR listener so we talk a good amount about these things that are going on in our society today. Just...FYI before anybody goes cray-cray on me. Just laugh and give me the benefit of the doubt that I'm not as stupid as I make myself out to be.

10-12

I turned into a marketing intern for a couple hours here and these were my series of thoughts;
"I have been entrusted with the almighty guillotine....who made that decision?"
"Well sure, I guess, lemme just rearrange my entire desk here to fit this project in..."
"How many pages can I do at a time? Wow, not even three? That's disappointing."
"PAPERCUT!! False alarm, it's fine. We're good." I feel like the second a papercut happens it's the worst nondangerous pain we humans know and almost immediately it's okay but the panic remains. Almost like you expect to look down and find your hand sporting only four fingers. So that happened. Not the finger lossage, just the panic.
"I guess maybe I should care that I'm half humming half mumble-singing along to pandora with my one earbud in but it's just impossible to NOT sing harmony with the likes of Christina Perri, Regina Spektor, and so forth."
"Sometimes songs come up that aren't exactly what I'd expect from a particular station, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna thumbs down 'That's What Makes You Beautiful' between Linkin Park and Breaking Benjamin." That's an unfortunate exaggeration, what a glorious moment that would be if that happened. But that song does come up on my Christina Perri station and I have to admit, it's a bit of a guilty pleasure tune for me. 

3:33 "What is going to happen to my life when I run out of talk shows to watch on youtube? Who am I kidding, endless youtube funnel of interview happiness!!"
Speaking of which, just finished watching a clip of RDJ and Jude Law doing an interview together and the bromance is just heartwarming. 

I hope that's the right video. I don't know if that drag photo is for real but apparently Jude can pull off any gender.

3:44 "CURSE YOU INTERNET EXPLORER. I didn't wanna do any work anyway. Booooo."

Well, it's almost closing time. I hate blogging from my phone so I guess that wraps up this dumb post. I don't know about you, dear reader, but all I've gleaned from this experience is that I'm much more terribly addicted to social media than I previously believed. And I knew it was bad.
Whoopsie.