Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Preposterous I Say!

I just read an extremely wrong and offensive (in a very light meaning of the word) buzzfeed article and I mean to address it. For reference, you can find the piece of literature trash here. Go, and be as sorely disappointed with the list as I am.
If you are too lazy and don't wish to follow my convenient link, in short, some pastey white man in a dark, dank basement with no sense of film appreciation spouted a preposterous list of "10 Disney Films you totally forgot about". And it struck such an opposing chord within me that I feel the need to speak out against his horrid slander.
He is, of course, entitled to his own (*cough*slandery) opinion but I certainly did not forget about roughly 80% of these movies so up yours pastey white basement man! (I have no idea this mans living conditions nor do I have any insight into his appearance other than a tiny thumbnail of the back of his head and a sliver of face included in the article) (but that's what I picture) (carry on).

Numero Uno;
THE BLACK CAULDRON

Actually, I'll give him this one. Most people really don't know much about this movie. But I sincerely love it and the dark, twisty slant on it is/was one of the parts that drew me to it. It's different, it's unique, it's much more fantastically real than some of the more classic Disney movies. It's grim and delightful and Gurgi is a little ray of sunshiney inspiration.
But it is not forgotten!

Two;
THE GREAT MOUSE DETECTIVE

Basil was one of those animated, un-human characters that I developed some inexplicable, possibly psychologically-unstable crushes on as a kid. (also included in that list, Simba from Lion King) (don't know why I feel the need to include the movie in there, there aren't too many Simbas...)
He admits that the movie doesn't really have many flaws but that it just wasn't recognized by the audiences when it came out. It has great heart and a dastardly villain with a surprisingly relatable "human" hero. Not human as in homo sapien but rather "real" and "flawed". Plus, the gears-in-the-clock fight scene is quite the heart pounder.

Three;
OLIVER AND COMPANY

/ahem, sooo...I've actually never seen this movie. cringe. It's bad, I know! I can't say anything for this movie other than I love puppies and kitties and I hear the musical "Oliver" stinks to high heaven (from the orchestra's perspective). Also, it seems reminiscent to "All Dogs Go To Heaven", another "forgotten movie" that I happen to love most ardently.
So. Merp for oliver.

Four; 
RESCUERS DOWN UNDER

My dear, good, kind sir....you are just so WRONG about this movie!! I mean GUH! In my own, humble opinion this "tepid" sequel is better than the original Rescuers! Penny's cute and all but Medusa and her dumb  alligators got nothing on McLeach and Joanna.
I mean honestly now...



My husband and I practically use quotes from this movie as an actual language to each other. Mostly from Frank the lizard but whatever. I digress.

Fifthly;
DINOSAUR

Aaaahhhh, phooey. I mean, this wasn't the best thing ever I'll admit. But I have a distinct memory from years ago when we lived in Utah, leaping about in the snow with my sisters in our swimming suits imitating the jumping lemurs. He does have a point however, with the over-attention paid to the animation and the plot/characters suffering a bit because of it. So...I'll allow it.

Sixth;
FANTASIA 2000

I cannot convey to you how my poor heart sank when I saw this movie on the list. I mentioned it on facebook and I'mma say it again, but I literally watch this movie every couple months at least. I hold it so near and dear to my heart along with the original Fantasia that is JUST as fantastic for other reasons. Perhaps it's my double-whammy nerd-dom of all things Disney as well as orchestra music but I kid you not I cry tears of joy uninhibited multiple times during this movie so Mr. Poop Reviewer can just stuff his face into a thick pile of steaming dung and leave it there.

Seven;
ATLANTIS: THE LOST EMPIRE

Mole. Kidagashmaga. "I swim good, pretty girl, pretty good! Pretty good, I swim pretty good." Leonard Nimoy. "You got anything sporty? Like a tuna?" Michael J. Fox. Professor Whitmore doing yoga. "Kitty. I'm home." Everything Milo says and does. The ending. The flight-fight sequence. Rourke's terrifying transformation. Everything about this movie is so wonderful. I don't understand their argument anyway, the animation is fine and nothing short of what we've all come to expect from Disney but it doesn't overshadow the story/characters like it did in "Dinosaur". I call cop-out redundant excuse and only the best people haven't forgotten this movie.

Eight;
TREASURE PLANET

"Can it. You little liar. (explanation)" B.E.N. is the best thing about this movie aside from Morph...and Dr. Doppler (David Hyde Pierce? I mean COME ON!)...and the soundtrack....and Joseph Freaking Gordon-Levitt. And Cap'n Amelia's boots! Golly there's not much I wouldn't do for a pair of those babies.
"Was I ever dancing with an android named LUPE??!" Martin Short is fabulous and that robot gets me laughing so hard I can't breathe and tears are streaming down my face. Treasure Planet is clever, upbeat, inspiring, and DANG if Jimbo don't look dashing in his military getup at the end of the movie. Om nom nom.

Ninthsicle;
BROTHER BEAR

What is this picture? I'm pretty sure that's the second movie or something. Regardless. THE MOOSE. Meese. Moosen. Oh, my gosh those two moose are comedy gold and the lesson laid out in this movie is well-done as well as realistic. Kenai goes on an emotional journey we are all familiar with and his resistance to learn is so very human it's downright frustrating. The best characters are the ones who change and Kenai goes through so many of them you may get dizzy. 
And again, I'm a sucker for music and that tribal stuff really gets my blood pumpin'. 

And Ten;
HOME ON THE RANGE

Unfortunately we end with one in which I mostly agree with him. I have never forgotten the movie but I definitely have a hard time recalling anything about it right now other than the psychedelic, neon, LSD trip that the cows take when the villain(?) guy yodels or something. I think I enjoyed the grumpy goat. Maybe. 

So there are my feelings on this article I stumbled upon. Now I suppose I should get back to real work and leave the interwebz alone for a bit.
How do you guys feel about all this? Is it really just me or is this guy a total fart brain?

4 comments:

  1. The SOUNDTRACKS to Atlantis and Treasure Planet are AMAZING and I have them stuck in my head all the time! "Good ol Berno" from Down Under COME ON!! Also, Ratigan is one of my fave villains!

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  2. I'm going to have to agree with you that I remember VERY well the majority of the movies on that list.. How dare he undermine such Disney gold!! ESPECIALLY Oliver & Company.. I cannot believe a Disney/music fan such as yourself hasn't taken the time to watch that one. That was probably my most watched and favorite one from that entire list... That, and the Rescuers Down Under. I probably watched it more than the princess ones!! Get your booty to the couch and WATCH OLIVER & CO NOW!!

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  3. I love Atlantis and Treasure Planet... Home on the Range is funny but just okay, and Oliver & Company makes me cry. The rest I don't like, haha...

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  4. There were several times I nearly screamed when I read the article. I named my bird Kida for heaven's sake. And I am not madly in love with all aspects of Brother Bear (unless we are talking with Moose commentary, because honestly that is the only way to watch this movie)but I am morally offended that they didn't even mention Phil Collin's incredible scoring in this film. And you Teasha and Amelia all know where I stand on treasure planet. And i seem to recall everyone's favorite day in music history being the day we watched Fantasia... And my goodness Black Cauldron is a wonder WONDERFUL classic. Great Mouse Detective has always been a favorite (Oh Ratigan!. And both of the Rescuer movies were extremely important to me.

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