Hippo-Critical

Someday (at least I hope), people will remember to be so grateful for all these wonderful things they keep listing when it's NOT 'the season'.
Forgive me. I appreciate your humble gratitude and commend you on realizing how blessed you are but the point is really diminished and mute for me when you post on Facebook how happy you are with your life when the stinkin' Holiday is coming right up.
Tell me how glad you are for your family and friends when you could just strangle your parents or when your friends are fighting and causing some silly drama you're going to forget about by next week. Tell me about your love of freedom and being able to get an education when it's finals week and you'd like to go eat out with your friends but you need to cram for that test early tomorrow morning.
Tell me you're grateful when it counts.
Otherwise? I really couldn't care.
Now, I don't mean ya can't have a list of stuff you're grateful for on Thanksgiving/Christmas, whatever. It just doesn't mean anything to me, personally.

Anyway, my Thanksgiving was pretty darn awesome. Despite the whole six people who were there (again, I'm used to over seventy guests). My mom decided this was the year I'd learn how to make a turkey....

Who ever said it was required to look nice?

No one. 

I won't remember a thing. It's gonna be the worst, most hilarious, terrifying and incredibly shameful thing when I eventually have to attempt my first turkey...by myself. It's completely different when my mom's there and basically just hands me the stuff to 'chop up and dump in'. I got that, pro-status. But if she left the room stuff would be burnin' up and boiling over all over the stove and someone would end up dead (and it wouldn't be the turkey).

BUT. I am a freakin' legit table setter.

Beautiful, eh? It's ok, I know. You don't need to say anything. Well, except for the fact that my mom brought out all the decorations (tablecloths and Thanksgiving-esque paraphernalia) soooo yeah, as a matter of fact I do wholly fail at housekeeping/hostessing. No big deal.

Ain't he a beaut? Larry, I believe, was his name.

It's been an interesting Black Friday weekend. Really the very first I've ever been directly involved in. Last year was kinda half-there but not really. This year, I met up with Mark at Fry's Electronics (also known as Felectronic Fry's according to the sign on the building) where he and JT had set up the most legit waiting-in-line fort (cuz really, it's so a fort)....

Yeah. We're kind of awesome.

So I got there around 1830-1900 (using military time cuz honestly guys, Black Friday means war). We nibbled on honeyed ham and watched A Knight's Tale and Fifth Element before putting it all away again around 2300 hours. Fry's opened at midnight, which sounds really nice, but lots of things we also needed to get weren't actually for sale till 0600. 

Dumb.

So we got in, split into two groups; divide and conquer style. An employee asked if JT was my husband.

"No, sir. Not that one."

I think he thought I was crazy.

Check this out, we were done gathering up everything we needed at 0012. Twelve minutes. We were good. We got in the checkout line, which was blessedly short and planned what we were going to do until 0600.

But wait! What is this?! We had needed a lot of multiple items so we had 3 of this and 3 of that and by the time we made it to the dude telling us which register to head for Mark finally noticed one of our power supply boxes were missing. Missing!

Some ninja had reached in and yoinked it right out of our basket. 

It's like it was Black Friday or something!

As annoying and rude as it was, I couldn't help but feel excited to actually experience a real BF (black friday not boyfriend) shenanigan. I'm just disappointed that I forgot about the facepaints. Poo.

So once we through that first time, JT went home cuz he wasn't willing to wait till 0600. Mark, Greg and I put the stuff in the truck (my new [old] baby, pictures to come...someday). Then headed back in for another power supply. We got one of the last few and went right to the checkout line...or what we thought was the checkout line. And it was, but it was the middle of the line rather than the end. This dude gives us a pitying look and points to the floating balloons peeking over the racks way far away on another aisle, "That's the end."

A Christmas Story, line for Santa much? Yeesh.

It took an hour and a half to get through the line and buy our one item we shouldn't've had to come back for. Silly.

By 0200 we were getting hungry so Mark decided he wanted Denny's and handed me his droid phone to find a location near us. But apparently you aren't supposed to click on any of the automatic fill in options cuz then it doesn't show you all of 'em. So we drove quite a few miles to find out that one Denny's has been replaced by a dentist office complex place. Lovely.

Drive some more miles back and find one that has one cook and two servers. Hello waiting half an hour just to be welcomed and then seated. Food was good, though. Driving back to Fry's we passed under the freeway, came up on the parking lot and found a Denny's right on the property. 

Only idiots don't see stuff like that.

So we laughed like the idiots we are. 

There isn't a facepalm strong enough.

Greg was a walking zombie so we sent him home. It was 0330 so we had some time to catch a quick power nap. Luckily, with the couch amenity we'd both brought some blankets and I had a couple pillows in my car so we were fairly comfortable....

0530 my phone went off and we stumbled out of my car, probably looking like bleary-eyed hobos. Found some more junk for really cheap (mail-in rebates that basically render the item FREE? Heck yes). And when I say 'junk' I mean important stuff that will make life easier as far as technology goes. Close enough.

By the time we were done shopping at 0630 it wasn't even worth it to go home so I just went to Mark's house and we slept for a few hours until noon when we went to SanTan mall and met up with one of my bestest friends from high school and her fiancee. 

Wet Seal tees and cami's, 5 for $20? I'll take 5...literally.

Charlotte Russe 30% off everything and clearance rack? Yeah, I hit that.

Also I'm addicted to scarves so has a new polka-dotty cutie.

Oh and Bath and Body travel size sanitizer bottles 5 for $5? I'll take 10. 

Black Friday = SUCCESS

So doing it all again next year.

Today was one of those days you stand back and give yourself a look over in the mirror and think, "Dang I did a good job this morning. It's like I'm actually pretty or something."
And then you spend the whole day inside and clean and don't see anybody.

Boo and a half.

But it's all better cuz the honey is coming over after work to gobble up some leftovers. I'd say it's worth it. Even though he still calls me beautiful when I've just taken a sunday nap at his house and I wore his clothes cuz sleeping in my [uncomfortable but still gorgeous] dress is just not preferrable and so I wake up with smeared makeup and a tangled hot mess living on my head. There are days I'm sure that boy is delusional. But what the hey, I am too so cool.

I'm grateful for LIFE ;) <3

Fails-giving

We've been that family that gets 70+ people together, crams 'em all in one house [insert awkward metaphor for stuffing inside a turkey] and commence the face stuffing!!
This year?
Mom, Dad, sister(s), brother, grandma and dog. Question on the 'sister(s)' cuz one might not even show resulting from Black Friday events. It's just our immediate family this year. Which, by societal standards, isn't that weird at all. But to me? It's freaky weird.
I won't answer the door every two minutes, sometimes just creepily waiting behind the door for people to come up and ring the bell since I saw them getting out of their cars but wanted to avoid the awkward "I'm standing here watching y'all approach and my face doesn't know how to conduct itself so I probably look like the poor turkey did before he got his neck chopped off and body plucked and....." well, you get the point.
We won't eat at one so there will be time to chat off the food baby, pack ourselves like sardines in a sardine can into the living room so we can do our annual family talent show (basically all the 5 year olds plunking out their beginning-beginners piano tunes and pausing for 5 whole minutes, staring at the keyboard in silence when they forget where they are in the song...then start over again) (and then the actual accomplished pianists, but I love that part).
There won't be any football in the home theatre, or barbies/dress-up, or cool knick-knacky crafts and there for sure won't be a communal watching of some Disney/Pixar flick such as Finding Nemo or Cars or one of the new awesome ones that have come out.

Thanksgiving in Utah was the best thing ever.
I totally took it for granted. Sad sauce.
I'm also pretty sure the Hostess-monster inside my mom is currently shriveling up and dying a sad, miserable death since she has no swarm of guests to cater to. Just us 5 people. Maybe my fiancee. Maybe. Poor, poor woman.

On a brighter note! Yesterday was the definition of AWESOME.
Ever heard of 'Desert Bus for Hope'? Yeah, I didn't think so [http://www.facebook.com/DesertBus]. There's a group of people up in Canada who host and have hosted a gamer marathon fundraiser for a charity called Child's Play, who give games to terminally ill children. They hang out in a basement, somebody plays desert bus (an awfully boring game consisting of driving a bus down a completely straight road from 'tucson' to 'las vegas') for hours on end and they take in donations and auction off some super cool items, have special guests and junk. They're on a live webcam and Mark has officially gotten me fully on the desertbus-boat (...o.O)
Being on said boat, when Mark called me Tuesday morning saying, "These dudes are driving from Tucson to Las Vegas in a big van and have prizes for anybody who stops them along the way. They're going down the I-10! We should do it!!" we both basically jumped at the chance. Especially considering they were embarking LIVE and they had awesome t-shirts included in the prizes. And how convenient! They were meeting someone at IKEA in tempe. Now we have to go.
He came and picked me up, we had a super stressful quicky fast quest to find some club soda ("clubbing" is sort of a phenomenon) but to no avail. I worked to keep Mark calm so he would drive like a not-crazy person and we could stay living, cuz that sounds really nice to me. I like life. We tried to keep up with what was going on in the basement up in Canada as well as the van travelling down the road using Mark's phone but the connection was quite dumb and the last thing we caught as we were taking the freeway exit to IKEA was the dudes leaving the building and showing the internets their nifty fat van they were travelling in and then oh, no!!! His phone went to poop. We scanned over the [monstrous] parking lot, looking for any van and picked out two that could possibly be it. We got out and went inside, looking really awkward as we had no clue where we should go or look or even if the people were still there.
We went back outside, Mark attempted connecting with his phone again and while he was distracted I heard a male's voice behind me saying something that I don't remember but at the time it sparked my brain and said, "Pay attention! These guys sound like nerds...."
IT WAS THEM.
I smacked Mark on the arm and he looked up and shouted, "Hey! It's you guys!"
We're such a good creeper-team.
So all in all, we found the people, they were super nice and fun to talk to. They had actually forgotten their prizes at home so I traded my high school '20 years of tradition' (that's actually spelled wrong and says 'traditon') musicals shirt for the little dudes Desertbus shirt and we were on the interwebz! Like, in the tubes! Sweeeeet.
Also, it was really entertaining to see Mark so nervous. He was shaking afterwards. Woot adrenaline!!

It's freakin' legit. I tell ya what.

We so exci-i-ted.

Update of Updates

<peeks around corner>
Are you still here??

So. There's a lot to talk about here and it's going to be a huge mess but I will get it all out and now I can really get to blogging again.
Firstly, to explain my random sabbatical from this online, public journal; I came home early from the college program. Before you judge me, realize that I was never getting credit for this adventure and merely went to enjoy the experience, get that chance to at least sniff out what reality is actually like (which, obviously, no better place than Disneyland, right? reality galore!) and live away from home, do my own personal, introspective DTR with Mark. Only problem was, I didn't need five whole months. In coming home early, I wanted to just finish out the lasts few weeks of the internship and not be explaining to countless people WHY, and HOW, and WHEN, and WHY again. I didn't want to be constantly thinking about leaving.
A) I hate feeling like a quitter. Or at least not sticking out till the end of something I got myself into (aka, "quitting")
B) Sure, let's think about leaving all the time so we never forget so then it feels like forever to finally actually be leaving. Sounds lovely.
C) It is Disneyland, after all :(

But I mean really, once I got engaged, why would I stay somewhere that isn't really helping along my education, I wash dishes all day long [life skills? Nah, I'm just a maid] AND I simply don't fit in anywhere? Plus, no pianos to speak of. No, I want to be with my fiance planning all these necessary wedding things and I want to spend this holiday season with my family.
Gmail and skype and texting and phone calls are just not the way I want to nail down all the wedding preparations. Sorry.

Secondly (except more like First-and-a-Halfly), I was actually surprising Mark in coming home. He knew I was planning on quitting before January but I had told him more along the timeline of the 'week of thanksgiving'....
I lied.
I came home on saturday, the twelfth. Had to implement the most extreme self control I have ever managed and not go see Mark that night. My mom and I got back to the house around 6:30 and I played my lovely piano for a little bit (teared up cuz I'm an emotional sap [and a complete silly mess from working at Dland]) and realized I totally suck now that it's been three months.
Fine, I don't "suck", I'll just actually have to sit down and really practice some things, run through my Handel book of finger exercises a couple times and unsloppify my technique. Boo and a half.
Mark works twelve hours on saturdays, 5:30-6 or something horrid like that. And it's the end of his work week. So popping by his place when he's completely exhausted and frustrated with all the stress and only being able to stay a couple hours before he should go to sleep just didn't sound all that enjoyable. So that's why I stayed home and spent some lovely time with a certain bestest buddy and her [kinda cool] hubby.
But on sunday morning, Mark and I have church at 9 am (wooty mcwootsauce) so I woke up, quite easily I might add, got all prettied up and went over to his house to wake him up. It went a little something like this;
<walk up to front door>
Oh, wait. It might be locked. Oh, this'll be fantastic....
<knock-knock>
....waiting....
<opens door>
Mm, same ol' bachelor pad.
Huh, I wonder why his light's on...maybe he's already awake?
<tiptoe quietly so as to not click heels on tile>
Baha, silly boy. All curled up in a ball with the light on.
<jump on bed, kiss cheek>
me:"Why are you sleeping with the light on??"
<lays like dead slug>
<rolls over>
<lays more>
<about to poke his cheek>
him: "Whaa--how are you here?"
me: "I'm magic!!"
<pause>
him: "No, seriously. How are you here??"
me: "Surprise!!"

I thoroughly enjoyed that. He seemed pleased as well.

Now, thirdly; since I've been back (a grand total of four days) I/we have--

• Whipped up a rough draft guest list; just a general idea of all the people we know [and holy dang if there's not a lot of you!!]
• Began gathering up already owned decor and picture frames
• More and more lists
• Booked the temple [more to come on that]
• Found THE dress [second one I tried on. EVAR. Huh, go figure]
• Sent out facebook event to rake in the addresses [I'll just need to ignore my notifications number for the next little while....it's kind of skyrocketing o_O]

And there's still so much to do. Thank goodness it's all for one of the biggest, best decisions I will ever make and I'm having a good time. Hopefully the good mood holds out till February. Oh, mama.

I am a bit worried about having my dress so early. I'm so in love with it and just wanna show it off to everyone (namely a certain fiance of mine) and wear it every day but gosh darn it it'll just hafta stay in the bag and hang in my mom's closet or something so I don't have such easy access to it....

Wasn't even supposed to dress shop today [er, yesterday now...this is the problem with blogging and not immediately posting, /sigh]. Was going to go check out a craigslist truck out in peoria with Mark early this [that] morning but he got an email and the truck is in a garage so we wouldn't be able to see it till 4pm and he has school from 4-9ish so that didn't work. So we went back to his apartment to clean and watch 'Once Upon a Time' but then he got called in to work.

And who likes to clean alone? Certainly not me.

So I called my mom and she told me to come on home and we'd sit down to talk over wedding plans.

Then all of a sudden we were wedding dress shopping. Just for the heck of it. To kinda get an idea of what's out there. It was still pretty early in the morning so we window shopped for about an hour and 'visited' about three different stores (and a couple long-gone shut down shops) before going back to AZ bridal. 

For some reason I was totally convinced and kept thinking to myself, "No way I'll find one today. We'll just look around and see what's 'on the market'." I may have been telling myself that to ward off the guilt that kept creeping in for not having my best friend/MOH there, when she really wanted to be there for dress shopping and I wanted her there as well....

But there'll be shoe shopping, and bridesmaid dress finding and all the other requirements of being a bride and MOH duo.

And so I fill out this weird form so I assume the employee can help me find exactly what I'm looking for in a wedding dress....
"I want to not look fat and be able to breathe...oh, and let's make it white I guess."
Like, seriously. Do you really gotta know ALL that?? o_O Silly.
She showed me to the racks that have the sleeved dresses on them and told us to grab six. So we did. The first one was beautiful. It was a lace-up which felt a lot nicer than I thought it would. Being tied in was a weird experience [thank HEAVENS we tossed corsets out as a necessity]. However, the supported hug of the bodice was nice. But it had that weird bunched up messy-poof skirt thing that I just don't understand.
K, fine the Belle-look is

whatever. Cute, if it's your thing [which it isn't mine].

But when you get to the point of

looking like a four year old took a stapler to your skirt I say, "whaaa??" And thusly, the first one got a 'yeah you look nice but let's see what else there is....'

The second one...I immediately loved. I had a dressing room that was straight across from the stagey mirror place so when I opened the curtain I got a first glance experience like I was in the place of everyone else who's gonna see me in it (namely, Mark) and I quickly found that in that split second moment there was a little 'ding!' in my head if the dress was something I could envision myself getting married in. And that second dress...in the famed words of Taylor Kerby, "I'm so attracted to myself right now!!"

Then turns out it's a little bit out of our budget, so I put on the brave face and return to the dressing room to <cross-fingers> find something even more fabulous.

But dress after dress and eight dresses later (and a small heart-attack after a teensy rip sound trying to pull one over my apparently too-wide behind) I was still glancing over at the 'favorite' hung on the wall to be used for comparison. Except there was none. I put the 'favorite' back on and just let it hug me in all the right places and felt so skinny and so beautiful and wished so hard it would just be March right then and there with everything all figured out and ready, set to go.

Turns out we could get a 15% off discount on the dress and they even threw in the lovely veil for free! Woohoo! Didn't know I even wanted a veil till they held it up to my head. 

I tried to come back with Allie later so she could see it, too (plus I just wanted to wear it again) but they'd accidentally already sent it off for cleaning.

Boo.

But I still has it! So it's all good and I'm so, so sos,o,so,soeoidlj excited!!!

Excited, I am.

But now I wanna get in the shower cuz I feel all gross from running around everywhere doing all these productive things today. So...bye, y'all!

I'll be posting more regularly now, promise :) Thanks for reading!

Unrelated to Life

When you can't hardly write another word for the tears that keep threatening.....well, then that means no one else is ever reading that chapter.
Breaking the hearts of your characters is like willingly slapping your heart on an exam table, cutting it open and finding your own worst fears and nightmares, pulling them out and having a tea party. Lemme tell ya, they aren't very good company. Lousy manners and a terribly offensive lot.

Yes. I, too, have taken my hand to NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). Something about 50,000 words in the month of November. I just like an excuse to type whatever passes through my brain like a lunatic who fancies rhythmic clicking seated before a vintage typewriter. With paper and ribbon. The 'ding' is pretty satisfying as well.
But basically I just delved into a certain idea and found myself getting to the end of playlists without even realizing the first song had ended and losing my breath and a terrible stinging in my eyes. And I haven't blogged in forever. And I miss people. And I....I would just really like to get back to MY life soon. The life that I enjoyed and reveled in and took for complete granted.
If I learned anything out here, it's that I had it made back in AZ; the most wonderful friends anyone could be blessed with, more laughter than I knew what to do with and the man who fills my bucket of happy dreams to overflowing. And that there are 3,198 spokes in the dish washing machine we use in the kitchen but that's just cuz I got bored and counted.
I just really don't want to cry right now.
Cuz it's almost 2 in the morning.
And I work at noon.
Which means I gotta leave my apartment by 11.
Which means I should totally be asleep.
But I want/need to get this idea/moment finished before I lose the emotional connection. I'm just a method writer and at the same time don't like being unhappy so that makes for very uncomplicated stories missing a conflict which, well, makes for no story at all. Not that I believe anybody really enjoys 'misery' but I do think I have a certain aversion to the emotion.

But now I have sufficiently run out of words and the moment is done. Except for when I go back through and add in the minute detail that gets lost in the flow of telling.
Being sad is exhausting. Goodness.
Thank y'all for being my shoulder to lean on when I can't give my characters one....thanks and good night.


ps-- I'm not writing much till I get home because I don't want to think much till I get home cuz maybe then time will go faster. I dunno. It's a hypothesis and I'll let you know how it goes.

Takes True Lovers To Be Silly

Here's a little slideshow for you....except you're gonna hafta be imaginative and pretend that I actually went to any real trouble to make this.
Just play the song and scroll through the pictures. That's all you gotta do. It's not difficult, I promise. And if it is, please get yourself checked. Really.

And now the lovely images of loveliness!

I lied. Must put words inbetween some

You can't tell it, but the reason I look like I'm sobbing over the death of my long-lost childhood kitten is because I'm sopping. freaking. wet. And we were just getting to the big drop! It was ridiculous. Never been in the front before. Never been in the front with the heavy people all in the front as well.
Never. Again. Never, I say.

There's a reason we were made for each other.

Oh, beautiful. We can look like humans. Genius.

His face. Kills me.
Slaying me with his smile....that's a song, right? Please tell me that's a song. Because dang it if that's not poetry and if I'm the first to come up with it, then that's just pathetic.

We tried. We really did. But cuteness could not be found. Only sillies.
(Recognize it? That's where he proposed <happyspasm> ahahaha!!)

It was cold. And pretty sour. That's all.

So the little cottage was eating his head away. No big deal.

It was a little bright. And I'm a good, caring fiance. Look at me go. Woot.

Dearest best friend Allie is a genius and the brainchild of this brilliant photo. Considering 'once upon a time' I wasn't Mark's biggest fan. 

Sometimes though, there are no words.

Again. No words.

Immediately following this picture;
"Can we look happy now, please?"
"Fine."

<heartskip>
Yeah, pretty happy I'd say :)


Just a small taste of what the picture montage will be like at our wedding.
Cuz I'm having a WEDDING!!!
Great freaking balls of fire.
How fun is that?

"He's more myself than I am. 

Whatever our two souls are made of, his and mine are the same."

--Emily Bronte

Genius of the Day

'Hocus Pocus' is the best thing Sarah Jessica Parker has done or ever will do. End of story.

Toll House cookies are SO MUCH BETTER after you've left them on the counter for three days.

I kid you not. 

Pasta Alfredo with hotdog is a meal for only the strong-stomached...and starving. 

Only demi-gods can afford to have their wedding reception in the Disneyland Park.

Also? Way to make my life really difficult. Thanks.

Be sure to check the month those block-out dates are listed in. Otherwise, you will has a heart attack, panic attack and sad attack all at once.*

For no reason.

I appreciate the effort, oh dear guest, but PUT THE DISHES DOWN AND GO ON YOUR WAY.

It's my job, let me do it.

Do I need to stab you in the eye with my engagement ring? Stop hugging me like my dog just died and I need to cry on your shoulder for an hour.

Awkward hug is awkward.

Dear City Bus; it's ok. I hate you, too. thlbhpghthphblph :P

*sooo, in my last post I mentioned fiance and best buddies are coming into town this weekend. As a cast member I can bring 3 people into the park with me. So life is good, no?

There are these things called "block-out dates", which are when there's an anticipated heavy flow of guest attendance and they won't allow us to bring people in.

These dates are also completely "subject to change". Up until this week, I been checkin' on 'em almost constantly (cuz I'm paranoid) and today I picked up a cast member reference guide and saw to my utter dread that the dates read "21-23".

I seriously almost cried.

Then later I looked again because I was miserable and the only solution to misery is keep looking at what makes you miserable, correct? 

Oh. Whoops. November 21-23....heh.

False alarm! Whew!

CakeCakeCake

["...she's so skinny. I hate her.../cake!"]




Gearing up for battle is never easy. It's exciting to be doing something, going on another adventure (despite that adventure being, well, a daily occurence...still) and finding maybe you are a productive human! But, let's be honest, it's battle for goodness' sake. That's scary, and tiring. Make that exhausting. Except I'm not a mom so maybe I'm not allowed to use the word 'exhausted'. It's staying, though. So deal.
In any case, stepping into the porcelain tub, carefully drawing the curtain shut because fail-pole just balances precariously between the two shower walls and turning on a cold shower is NOT a good pre-work practice. Starting off on a bad foot; bad. 
knock-knock!
"Hope, can you hurry? I need to be at TDA by such-and-such time...."
Superspeedyawesomeshower!!
Except not awesome. Because I didn't wash my face or shave. Incomplete morning routine? Prepare for EPIC-FAIL-MELTDOWN.


Made up for it with leftover pizza. So all is well.
I'm pretty sure I'm legit-diagnostic-batty-crazy (just looked up 'diagnostic'....still not sure I'm using it correctly...) because there's no other way I would submit myself to the torture of biking to and from work. Firstly, it's humid. Hello nasty sweaty body before I even get to said 'battlefield'. Secondly? Tragically, a fellow college program member was killed riding her bicycle to the parks and naturally, that makes me kinda nervous about the practice. 
But thus far, my trusty redheaded[maned?] steed Smith (title generously provided by none other than JT) has served me well. Any ungraceful accidents have been the fault of my own inability to balance and steer. I'm sure poor Smithy will throw a tantrum and refuse to budge soon enough. But until then....
I better get some major life points for being all active and dedicated and junk.


Dear Smelly-Dirty-Nasty-Peasants (aka homeless); NO. No, I will not screech to a stop on my bike just to talk to you and let you ask for money for your drugs and other such life-debilitating habits. Sorry.
Dear Small Children; let's go for some common sense and maybe all of you could pick a side of the sidewalk to crowd. Otherwise, Y'ALL IS GETTIN' MOWED OVER.
Dear City Bus; that's right. I got here in the same amount of time. WASSUP!! ...actually, that might not be so awesome as I'm imagining. Hm.
Enter the fighting arena. Nod submissively at shiny metal arch nemesis (don't worry Alex. You're still my #1 enemy) and crack neck. Snap on gloves then facepalm and take them back off. Put on apron first then pull on gloves (ever tried to tie a knot behind your back with sticky plasticy fingers? I didn't think so. Stop judging). Slip on immensely attractive hairnet and face opponent. 
Wielding my bottle of Pan Dandy and the superduper power sprayer of death and the scalding hot tub of roiling sickening-yellow water; these pans have NO. HOPE.
Which is pretty darn ironic, if you think about it.
But seriously. I am the Hope-inator in that kitchen. For realzies. 
Today was especially epic.
And obnoxious.
Being a tuesday, in off-season and also a halloween party night (meaning that there's not much to do and then at night there's really nothing to do because only the small food places are open), I was by myself in the pot room. The Lone Obliterator of food scum. No sidekick for Hope (that may or may not be an extremely deep comment....think on that and get back to me). I was blasting my way through everything they threw at me. Piles of pots and stacks of oversized cookie sheets with crusty nasty unidentifiable much burnt on to such a degree, it has quite possibly been fossilized (which I realize is not possible, so before you flip out on me [ahem, Leah Fran--Wrightson] just let me use that word to mean 'THE FOOD IS REALLY STUCK AND HARD'). But nothing the Hope-inator can't handle. 
And suddenly! The sudsy bubbles rise up in mutiny and rebellion! They overpower the dishes and begin to sludge over the edge of the sink and extend the very boundaries they have been set in. But like a boss, I aim the power sprayer in their general direction and beat them back with the force of my tiny little water-droplet minions. 
Confession: I did in fact, make explosion, "pew-pew" and light saber-esque noises as I forced the bubbles into submission. They surrendered. Obviously. It was inevitable. 
And yet! Curse their sneaky dastardly plan. The bubbles were merely a distraction! A coy ploy to fill my head with ego and overconfidence. Now the pot has taken the force of my steaming spray and reflected it back into my eyes, blinding me and weakening my defenses! Plus it's super hot and uncomfortable and I'm pretty sure I will legit go blind because of the soap and food particles and nastiness that is being shoved into my poor eye sockets. 
I shake my fist at thee, wretched pot.

(that's me as the warrior of kitchendom...

except my sword is a stream of water.

Imagination people; it's a good thing)

And that is what I do to pass the time at work when I'm bored. My life; dramaticized just for your entertainment. But that's a lie. It's for my own entertainment. I only share it with you because well, I'm dedicated to you guys.
:P


Today was long and boring. And I just really want it to be friday, at least. I mean honestly, life. You could at least do that for me. Make if friday already. That's all I ask for. Sigh.
Fiance, best friend, and previously  mentioned #1 arch nemesis are coming into town for a whole TWO days (:D) and we're gonna party it up in the parks cuz I AM LEGIT. 
True story.
And I admit, about 27% of me is excited for this weekend merely because it means I'll be sleeping in the hotel room they are staying in and THAT means I can take a glorious hot shower!!! Don't judge me until you've gone 3 months without one after living a life generously blessed with hot showers. Then go ahead, I know I'm a wimp and pathetic. But I accept that. 
But the other 5billion% of me is excited because um, it's two days with my future-hubby and the bestest friend that I could cry because I miss her so much.
I can't wait to laugh so hard it's ugly.
I can't wait to snort too much, it's annoying.
CanNOT wait to "chonchy chonch" and "whoo-hoo!" and quote all the things no one understands here.
Plus that one kid. He's pretty cool, too ;)
And now it's rounding on 2 am and I have work in 10 hours and the whole 8 hours of sleep is growing on me. I likes me sleeeep.


oh! the title. Yeah, got free cake and cheesecake and bacon at work. 
Most awesome job EVAR? 
Don't be an imbecile. Of course it is.

I Need a Therapist

It would be really, really convenient if my brain would realize I'm engaged.
Or that 'single' is not synonymous with 'unmarried', and only means that. What exactly am I saying? I'm saying there would be a lot less awkward situations prevalent in my life. Such as going to the grocery store to buy groceries cuz I haven't been in two weeks and that means my edible stockpile was getting low...
But due to the fact that I has not been keeping up with muh pantry, I had to buy a lot of stuff. And I don't have a car. Only my bike. So $100 worth of groceries fills up a bicycle pretty fast.
And increases the likelihood of crashing and dying or merely maiming oneself to the point of irrepairability (apparently that's not a word but really. It should be).
So I was just going to walk my overflowing-with-plastic-bags bike the two blocks home and call it a day! No harm done!
Except there's a group of people that hang out outside the Starbucks and Subway right next to the grocery store which is right where I hafta walk.
And when I say 'group of people' I mean weird conglomerate smattering of weirdos including but not limited to homeless, druggie, drunk and incoherent humans.
Up till now I have traversed this "social leper" zone safely and walked away with only the burning stares engraved into the back of my head and behind my eyes. Today though; a tall black man with the appearance of cleanliness passed by going the other way as I was making my way home.....
Him: [acknowledge nod] Hey...
Me: [eye contact] Hi...
Dang it! Dear Line-of-eyesight, STOP IT.
Him: How you doin' today?
Me: Fine.
Too many groceries, can't run away...keep walking, keep walking!
Him: [taking steps to keep eyes trained on my face] Hey...hey, are you single?

Now, lemme just put in a disclaimer and explain why I'm stupid. In my head, "single" has always meant unmarried. I'm taken, yes but I'm not a MRS. so therefore, I'm single. I am a single person. Not helped by the fact that I never referred to my first boyfriend as 'boyfriend' and my second boyfriend and I were hardly 'officialized' (as in never actually called each other 'boyfriend & girlfriend') viewing myself as not single is not something that comes easily to my mind.
And so that is how I said...

Me: Yes.
Wait, no! I'm not! I'm engaged!! What the heck??!? WHY DID YOU SAY THAT, STOOPID??!
Him: [almost speaks]
Me: [sputtering] Well, no I mean--I...well, I just...I'm not married....(yet)
Him: Well until you're married, you're single...[looks far too satisfied with self]
[weak laugh]
Him: Would you date a black man?
Me: [not hearing correctly] No...
Him: ....nn--
Me: [catching up] Oh! Yeah--well, no I....
Just give up idiot. Walking away now.
Him: [calling after me] Can I get your number?!
Me: No.
[look over shoulder] oh no. oh no, no, no don't follow me! Don't be a creeper! Why are you on your phone and grinning at me? Are you calling your cronies to drive by in their white van and snatch me? I don't wanna be sold as a prostitute!!


Thank you "Taken" for utterly ruining my inherent faith in strangers.
To clarify; Um. No. I am not ashamed of being engaged or of my relationship with Mark. YES, words just spit out of my mouth sometimes even if they're completely NOT AT ALL what I meant to say.

It's a problem.

My life. In a nutshell.

Bottom of the Thought Barrel

Holy moly I just seriously screwed up my blog...
I don't even know what happened. Went to dashboard and found this nifty little pop-up;
"Here! Try this new awesome thing! It's new, and awesome!"


So I did.
And now my blogface is all boring and bleeeeeh and lost all the changes I'd worked really hard to get right for all these months and turns out with this new dumb template you can't really personalize a whole lot of it.
What the stupid??!? In any case, I'm a tad bit upset. But I'll figure it out later and probably maybe even like it more. Who knows.
Just cuz Steve Jobs DIED doesn't mean we gotta keep everything super new all the time. Change everything! It must all be awesome because that's Steve's dream!
Too soon? Eh.

I got ready for work an hour too early. I thought I was gonna be heading to the bus stop at 2 because that's what my brain came up with but turns out it's really only 3 that I gotta be there.
So now I can blog! Happy day.
There have indeed, been moments recently where I've thought to myself, "Oh! I must blog about this later!" but then I get home and all I wanna do is NOT think about how my day went. So I don't blog.
Like the time I was finally up bussing in the park for my first real legit time! Yay! Wootsauce! Except for it means I'm super nervous cuz now I don't have a trainer to be like, "NO stupid, do it like THIS," and teach me. So what happens? It rains.
Not cute little arizona rain where the clouds are all, "Oh whoo-hoooo! Rain rain rain, here! Have some water!" for like, ten minutes. It was steady, wet, cold rain all freaking day. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved it. It just made doing my job a little difficult. Considering I work in French Market, where we don't have covered seating. Well, it's technically 'covered' but only by long draping pieces of fabric that soak up the water and create little mini waterfalls all throughout the dining area. And especially where we bussers stand to put away all the junk we pick up from the tables. Wiping off plates and roof-water dripping into my shirt? Lovely.
I did in fact get sick from that ordeal. Due to the fact that personal jackets are not 'Disney Look' and you need to check those out from costuming if ya need one and also the fact that I did not know this, I spent the day looking like a drowned rat in a frilly yet saggy, drenched blouse made from Grandma's couch. But I persevered! My coworkers kept calling me a 'trooper'....which might have been a compliment if it wasn't because of their silly lazy wimpiness that kept them hiding under the roof overhang and talking to each other the entire time that allowed me to even be the trooper because I was picking up all the slack.
Boo.
Good thing it was raining or I'd have been in a foul mood for sure.
Wait, what?
Exactly. Super conundrum, ftw.

Or the time I witnessed two little girls and their Grandpa get up and start dancing to our live band, "Royal Street Bachelors" and just about wanted to cry from happiness.
Or spending the last 15 minutes of my shift sitting on the Dream Suite private entrance steps talking to 5 year old Joel to keep him in one place as we tried to locate his parents. He loves Space Mountain and playing with the Dinosaur bones at preschool and broke his arm playing on the monkey bars. Oh, and he's from arizona! Small world ;) Rest assured y'all...we found mommy and daddy. I don't think Joel even understood that he was lost. Or if he did, just didn't care all that much. He just kept asking about all the scaffolding and why it was there.
"Why is that construction?" ...you sure you're 5? I'm pretty positive I was nowhere near knowing the word 'construction' at age 5...
"Are they fixing it cuz it's broken? Are the pirates broken?"
He kind of made my day.

Or discovering that 'complaint humor' (aka jokingly making a complaint to break the ice with a guest) is completely and utterly lost on a youth motivational speaker. Oh, what luck have I.
"I'm an adolescent motivational speaker counselor person and I get kids complaining all the time and I just tell them, blah blah blah..." Dude. I was just making a joke. Calm down. I don't think I'm entitled to anything and I'm working for my life. Thank you and have a nice day.

Or the ride on the bus to work that trumped all the awkward uncomfortableness as experienced yet. I usually like to sit in the front of the bus just cuz the seats are right there and it's easy to get off from there. But it was fairly full a couple days ago, except for an empty seat next to a decent looking black man. But I didn't want to squeeze in there with my backpack and everything so I headed for nearer the middle, even as said black man goes, "Here, have a seat young lady..."
I put up my hand and said, "I'm fine. Thanks," and sat halfway back the bus. Didn't think anything of it.
Until a couple stops later when he followed me back and sat directly across the aisle, facing me (since those seats are up against the wall) and smiles at me.
Him: "How are you today, sister?"
Me: Oh, I'm doing pretty good...
Him: Has God blessed you, today?
Me: I'm alive aren't I? Yes he has...um, how bout you?
(I mean honestly, how do you reply to that?)
Him: Oh, he has blessed me greatly.

And then spouts off into this long tirade about God and Jesus and Job.
Him: Are you Christian?
Me (hardly paying attention, caught off guard by question directed at me): Uh..yeah...
Him: Are you ashamed of being Christian?
Me: No, sir.
Except I already know and feel that my expression hardened at being asked that because it feels so rude. Don't sit there and judge me because I'm uncomfortable talking to you about my beliefs and myself in general. I don't know you. And you're creepy.
He asked my name. When I told him 'Hope' he kind of raised his eyebrows and goes,
"Oh, so is it you we're supposed to hope in, and not Jesus?" In the most accusatory manner I've ever heard! It's my name. Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I mean, what??!
At this point, people sitting around us are casting their eyes to the side, glancing at him and me and only raising the uncomfortable because no one will say anything. Someone please, help me!

Him: Now you, as a woman, I know. I know it's distracting to look around and see all of us lovely, gorgeous, handsome men around...I know you just wanna jump over here on top of me right now, because I'm so sexy but you gotta control yourself. Keep Jesus in your countenance.
Unfortunately, I'm not kidding. That came out of his mouth.
He went into talking about the "urges" and "passions" that we as humans are given. That it's our bodies, and man and woman alike are given the "same feelings". Through the entire thing it was obvious that he was subliminally referring to himself and me when saying "man and woman". The awkward sidelong stares increased and I even started trying to make eye contact.
But people are dumb.
Thankfully, my ride to work is barely 10 minutes at most and that cut our conversation, or rather lecture, a tad short. Weirdest flirtation of my life? Quite possibly, yes.

Not to mention the socially awkward elevator kid. Laughed in my head because we got off the bus at the same time and he took off, goin' like he was trying to fast walk away from a serial killer. Caught up with him at a crosswalk. He took off again. Caught up again at the elevator in our building.
Silly.
Next morning, got on the bus talking to some kid. Turns out it was him and I didn't remember but he remembered me from the elevator. Oops. Asked my name, the quintessential awkward--
"How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?"
Why does that matter?

Funny how being engaged completely nullifies awkward flirting. I just don't care. Go ahead and flirt. I don't feel obligated to try and protect their feelings anymore. Because I'm spoken for and that obliterates their chances. Not my fault they're seriously oblivious.
In other news; highly recommended!

• Hunger Games (yes. It's now my turn to rave about the books)
• Castle (Nathan Fillion and....well, honestly. What more do I have to say? Nathan Fillion)

I just started both of these incredibly awesome things and just want to spread them a little more. Go find happiness. It's out there :)

Totes Faves

Naps. 

Anytime. Anywhere....pretty much.

Rain

Thunder & Lightening

Rolling clouds

Sunlight

Breath clouds

Disneyland

...in the rain :)

Free hot chocolate

at work

Free hot chocolate with

free loads of 

caramel sauce

Referring to Mark as
"my fiance"

in normal conversation

Puppies

....and their jitters

My ring

Music

but mostly piano

Flowers

and other various

foliage

Long mermaid hair

Self esteem dresses

Dirt

preferably mud

Inside jokes

and giggle fits

Speaking of which,

"chonchy chonch"

Prayers

and kneeling

Learning & Growing

Colors

(apparently)

Making plans

Cake

Loving

Someone

Working hard

and sweating

Moosen

Late night adventures

and fast food

and stars

LIFE <3

Julie Andrews had it spot on; "When I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things and then I don't feel so bad." While yes, it's first grade rhyming, it's just that simple of a fix it doesn't need elaborate fancy words. 

Today has been completely, perfectly, utterly normal but has also left me in this bizarrely fantastic mood. I'm so sunny on the inside it's sickening. Not to worry, folks. It's completely dreary outside so the world balances out my disgusting optimism. Funnily enough, it's the weather that probably spurred this mood of mine. I may just come down with pneumonia but hey, no big deal. 

Except for aforementioned fiance has forbidden that I get any sort of sick so.../shrug. Guess dying isn't an option. 

Wouldn't that be unfortunate o_O To die now. 

Disclaimer!: Dear Karma, this is a completely hypothetical situation. Just go sit in a corner somewhere and ignore everything I'm about to say.

Suppose I do die in the timeline of "soon", would someone please ensure that my tombstone reads;

"SOML"

That is all.

And maybe the silhouette of a moose head or something. Just a little classy touch.

[knock on wood]

Ok, hypothetical death musing finished.

Anyway. This is what I do when I'm finding myself slumping in a rut. What do y'all do? Think about it and maybe you should probably go out and do some of those things.

Can't think of anything? Try something new :)

More Dreams...

I should take naps more often. Really. Cuz then I'll actually have a story for you guys other than, "Disneyland, wootsauce" or "WORLD OF COLOOOOOR" or "Hey guess what, rings and love and such". Like now. So I'll just hop right into it.

I took a nap today. Went to class 8:30-11:30, had "brunch" with some almost friend-peeps and then came home and sacked out. It felt really nice.
But here's the thing; when I sleep, I dream. And dreams are weird. Because once I go subconscious and there's nothing holding my brain back it can just leak strangeness at it's own leisure. And so that would be how I dreamt about working at Jurassic Park instead of Disneyland.
Firstly; way to go brain. You just one-upped my seemingly top-of-the-line entertainment job.
Disney is the coolest place to work for EVAR!
Just kidding. I stand corrected.
Pretty much the only thing I remember is after having clocked in I walked through that massive pterodactyl cage thing to get to my 'location' and happened to pass by the velociraptor fighting cage attraction.
(Kay, you kidding me computer? 'velociraptor' is definitely a word. Stop underlining it in red. Way to fail and ensure my speedy death by said ferocious cretacious creature)
At the time, one of the velociraptor's had stuck it's head and long neck through the apparently poorly thought out fence and was screaming in the faces of the crowd standing around; particularly a very frightened child. I whipped out my phone and took a picture to send to one of my friends. For good measure, the velociraptor then looked over in my direction and I got another picture of it staring straight into the camera...or my soul. Either or, I'm not sure which.
Then it kinda morphed into a giant falcon and the animals were still fighting and it was still such a win I had to wake up before I slipped into a win-coma.
There was that awkward half-reality moment where I was conscious but still totally convinced I had that picture on my phone and was fishing for it in my pile of stuff up on my bunk so I could send out the darn picture but then I realized my mistake and literally felt my happiness level plummet.
aka the feeling of disappointment.
So I was sad.
But the dream was totally awesome.
Woot being a crazy head.

Dear _______,

Dear Hulu,
I am very much disappoint. Bad move. Bad.

</3, Me


Secret of NIMH and The Pebble and the Penguin are no longer available on hulu. Sad Hope is sad.
There is quite a lot of stuff going on in this head o' mine. And not all of it has to do with a 'sparkly' and certain pictures posted all over my social networking profiles. If I could, I'd want to be huddled under a heavy blanket, listening to rain pour down through the open front door in my fiance's front living room and watch a movie. I'd be good with just a movie right now. But hulu's dumb. And I can't go rent a redbox since I am trying to keep the Sabbath as holy as possible while I'm out here. Not to mention I'm not sure I'd wanna deal with renting anything right now, considering one of the things on my brain is coming home with any sort of profit from this adventure. With around $60 to live on each week I'm not gaining much money at all. But welcome to life, right?
And I would really like to take a nap. But it's already 10:20pm and that's either too early or too late for sleeping.
I guess I feel kinda restless. And anxious about the upcoming months and how much I'm not going to enjoy life once october is over. Because then holiday season will really kick in and the kitchen will be mi-ser-a-ble. Woohoooo. It doesn't help that all the people who've been around are saying stuff like,
"Enjoy the down time while you can!"
"Just wait till November..."
"Be ready to hate life."

/sigh
Way to give me an anxiety attack.
And I just miss people! It really is annoying connecting with the people closest to you through the warm, sticky phone pressed up against your face or the hot, humming laptop burning your thighs and technology just isn't as good as flesh, bones and facial features. In my own opinion, at least. And this is an important stage in my life. I want my people around me. People who can appreciate what this really means to me.  People who know me! I'm just a stranger with a pretty ring on over here. Nobody gets how special it is that there was the whole accidental 'Tangled' theme to the proposal.
It's just annoying.
But then I think about how that day went and it's ok :)

On another note, I forgot how silly us Mormon's are with our super short engagements until I began telling people, "Yeah! I got engaged on friday....the big date? Oh we're thinking March..."
and they're like,
"Whaaa!?? o_O"
I was explaining it to my coworkers on saturday and told them about how we originally were planning on May but were thinking about moving it up to March and one of 'em goes,
"Whoa, that's fast..."
Me: uh, no. That's Mormon.
Him: You guys must be horny...
Me: [gives look] Again, Mormon.

The other guy in the room laughed and remarked, "It makes sense." Well yeah it does. I mean honestly, we were all thinkin' it.
"May?? Really? Ok, sure Mark & Hope, have fun with that....."

Dear Married Couples,
Appreciate your loved ones for me. Because I'm much too far away from mine for my liking and right at this moment it's all I could want to just be living in my own house with my very own hunny and our spunky little puppy. So look at the person you committed your life to, remember your story and your love and smile in that rush of pure joy I know you'll get.
Enjoy it for me, please :)

das all <3

I have always sympathized with Jeremy on this :) "ooh! a sparkly!"

And guess what!
I haz one nao x]

(don't laugh at my poor gimp pinky, hahaha)

To my Pinterest friends...recognize it?

I pinned this exact ring quite a few months ago. FABULOUS! It really is huge. Which is definitely not something I'm used to. I don't really wear jewelry and when I do it's usually earrings or a necklace...maybe some bangles. I'm not too adventurous in the bling category. But now I HAZ A SPARKLY. For real. 

Fiance can testify, after he put it on my finger (cuz he liked it so he put a ring on it) the next hour or so consisted of me laughing and gesturing in exaggerated motions with my hand how heavy it felt. But this morning when I woke up without it on I immediately knew something was missing.

I absolutely love it. And him. And this whole situation :) 

Baha I can't stop staring at it and examining the glittering awesomeness that is mine. Be jealous, y'all!! ;)