When you can't hardly write another word for the tears that keep threatening.....well, then that means no one else is ever reading that chapter.
Breaking the hearts of your characters is like willingly slapping your heart on an exam table, cutting it open and finding your own worst fears and nightmares, pulling them out and having a tea party. Lemme tell ya, they aren't very good company. Lousy manners and a terribly offensive lot.
Yes. I, too, have taken my hand to NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). Something about 50,000 words in the month of November. I just like an excuse to type whatever passes through my brain like a lunatic who fancies rhythmic clicking seated before a vintage typewriter. With paper and ribbon. The 'ding' is pretty satisfying as well.
But basically I just delved into a certain idea and found myself getting to the end of playlists without even realizing the first song had ended and losing my breath and a terrible stinging in my eyes. And I haven't blogged in forever. And I miss people. And I....I would just really like to get back to MY life soon. The life that I enjoyed and reveled in and took for complete granted.
If I learned anything out here, it's that I had it made back in AZ; the most wonderful friends anyone could be blessed with, more laughter than I knew what to do with and the man who fills my bucket of happy dreams to overflowing. And that there are 3,198 spokes in the dish washing machine we use in the kitchen but that's just cuz I got bored and counted.
I just really don't want to cry right now.
Cuz it's almost 2 in the morning.
And I work at noon.
Which means I gotta leave my apartment by 11.
Which means I should totally be asleep.
But I want/need to get this idea/moment finished before I lose the emotional connection. I'm just a method writer and at the same time don't like being unhappy so that makes for very uncomplicated stories missing a conflict which, well, makes for no story at all. Not that I believe anybody really enjoys 'misery' but I do think I have a certain aversion to the emotion.
But now I have sufficiently run out of words and the moment is done. Except for when I go back through and add in the minute detail that gets lost in the flow of telling.
Being sad is exhausting. Goodness.
Thank y'all for being my shoulder to lean on when I can't give my characters one....thanks and good night.
ps-- I'm not writing much till I get home because I don't want to think much till I get home cuz maybe then time will go faster. I dunno. It's a hypothesis and I'll let you know how it goes.