Upended

If this post had a face it would be the face one would make in that time-stopping moment right before a terrible crash. It's inevitable, you see it coming, you're not sure how bad it's gonna be but it doesn't look good. The eyes are squinted and head turned away but you can't help watching, the lip is bitten and pulled back in a grimace.

It's an anxious face and an anxious post.

But unfounded because nothing has really happened yet.

As with all serious and important matters, the house spiel has hit a bump in the road and we're not sure how the landing is going to pan out. We found out yesterday that the water heater as well as both air conditioning units are all the original units put into the house back in '99 which puts them at almost fifteen years old. Not a good age for any of those pieces of machinery. That turns into a considerable chunk of cash just to fix the issue, not to mention the bump up in spending to keep them all running at an efficient rate. 

Basically, we could probably afford to put new ones in but it's questionable whether we can afford the coinciding bills that will result from cooling an entire house with the units we'd be able to afford.

It's a depressing conundrum.

Spend a LOT of money now to put in good units? Or save now and spend a buttload every summer? It's a question that would happen no matter what house we move into, we're only disappointed that the insulation isn't as thick as we would have hoped.

Four inch walls versus six inch walls, funny the difference two inches can make.

The appraisal is happening today, probably as we speak. In fact, just got a text from Mark who is at the house right now with our flooring guys estimating costs. There's an expansion crack in the concrete and will take $200 to level.

Houses are a lot of money. A lot. And we know that. Believe me, we do and we were expecting it. However, it's a totally different story when you're faced with that ever-expanding list of fees and charges and things aren't going as smoothly as you anticipated. Issues keep cropping up and communication hasn't been great, we've had three different appraisals scheduled and charged to us despite clearly stating that we weren't going to go through these other organizations. Information has been hard to come by and Mark has been a research guru and is such a trooper. 

We had a troubled moment yesterday, wondering if it was worth the effort and whether we should even continue with this house. There still isn't a solid answer (is there ever?) and I can only hope things will become clearer after this appraisal and a quote from an a/c man but I'm not ready to give up. I can't believe that we had such strong feelings about this house that one (granted, major) hiccup is reason enough to just give it all up. To quit now? Feels wrong. It completely negates those impressions of home we had if we're that ready to discard the whole venture at the first sign of rough times.

Now I'm not crazy, if there is legitimate cause to believe we really will not be able to afford living at a relatively comfortable temperature for most of the calendar year then obviously it's time to rethink and reevaluate. It will be sad, and I probably won't want to be around people for awhile because I'll be required to explain why we aren't moving when we should be moving, but as the saying goes, "we'll cross that bridge when we get to it". 

If it comes out to be a situation where we can't run the a/c at 75 degrees all during the summer months but rather, every now and again need to spend most of our time downstairs and leave the upstairs muggy and uninhabitable then what's the big deal?! Life of an arizonian I say! Bring it on!

I know that buying a house will not be without sacrifice. I know that there is no such thing as perfect. I know that we won't be able to have everything we could possibly want right away.

But you know what is perfect?

This house, and the opportunity it will allow us to have a dog, a garden, children, the piano (yes, the piano), all the life steps that we have yet to take. 

If we don't get to have blasting cold air round the clock, so be it.

If we have to still live frugally and eat mac and cheese most of the time, make it so.

If we can't go out every weekend and take vacations every couple of months, money well saved, I say. 

This is a life-step for us, not an "in" for social standing. There are so many blessings that will come from us being in this house, it's not about money at this point. It's about life. We're living right now and doing the best we can with what we have but there's so much more to be had. It's time to move forward.

I just hope we get to move forward on life sooner rather than later.