Thursday, August 15, 2013

Basically an instagram foodie essay

This isn't good guys. It's great, but it's not good. I'm gonna be so fat by this weekend. Yesterday we had a group of high-ups, boss'-bosses come visit the office and they're here through Friday so there has been a glorious abundance of food and it's so great, but so not good.
The menus thus far....
  • Breakfast; chick-fil-a chicken biscuit nugget things. One word--addicting
  • Lunch; Jimmy Johns and pickle spears.
  • Snacks; Bags of chips, soda, peanut butter pretzel bites.
  • Breakfast; Bagels bigger than my brain and five different buckets of cream cheese. What makes a jalapeno cheese bagel even better? That's right, cream cheese. 
  • Lunch; Firehouse subs longer than my keyboard. ALL FOR ME. 
  • Snacks; moar chips, sodas, pretzel bites, and now a well meaning but hardly touched bowl of fruit. 
  • I don't know I ain't no Seer.
But you can be sure I'll be back to letcha know the deets. I know that lots of people are like "ugh food posts, duuuumb" but to that I say

Just kidding, Gollum's so mean sometimes.
But seriously though people...

(Anyone elses brain consistently blown by how strikingly similar Smeagol/Gollum looks to Andy Serkis? BOGGLES THE BRAINLINGS.) (apparently I have little brain gremlins in my head that are now called brainlings. They are boggled.)

I try to actually have a story accompany my food pics rather than just "LOOK. NOURISHMENT." Food is a big deal in my life, I mean really. Thanks for keeping me alive, food. 

Thanks directed at a potato. How appropriate.

In short, I love food and being fed for free is a nice bonus and sweet reprieve from the stress of trying to prepare a quick yet healthful lunch from home every morning because I'm still not dedicated enough to make a meal plan and prepare ahead of time. 
Life is a cruel mistress.
Food helps me enjoy my servitude to said mistress.
Don't judge me.


  • Dinner; The entire office got invited to accompany the group of corporate elites to a paid dinner at Joe's BBQ. And I had to turn it down for a board meeting.
    I'm not too sad about it though, it's not my favorite restaurant for BBQ and Mark probably wouldn't have gone with me the way he feels about it. But I do feel like I missed out on a team building experience. Ah well, next time!

  • Breakfast; leftover bageldonkulous and cream cheesicle. Nobody had even opened the chive and onions flavored bucket but when I did it smelled funny. I played it safe and went original. Now there's an opened bucket of chive and onion cream cheese that has to be eaten before it goes bad. Oh darn. 
  • Snackages; Moar chip baggies and untouched fruit bowl with a newly added fruit tray sporting a luscious sea of smooth, creamy caramel dip. Would you fancy some apples with your dip, Hope? Why, that would be spiffy Hope, thank you old chap.
I am not sure if anything is happening for lunch. Most everybody's flying out today, they might go do a restaurant shindig or something.
But it's okay. I get the mail so I get the weekly ads and save all the coupons (or as Mark says, "coopuns") in a drawer at my desk. So I'll still be a fatty, no worries children. 

Preach, sistahs.

okay. done.

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