Friday, July 8, 2011

Pity Monster

You probably don't know this but one of the most scary and nerve-wracking moments in your life will be when Jacki calls you on the phone, acquires the information that you are at home with nothing to do and says, "Stay right there!!" and hangs up.
Because now there's no telling WHAT is going to happen.
But it was all ok. Nobody died.
Jacki is one of those rare examples of a human that makes me realize how much harder I could try to be a good person. She's awesome. In every sense of the word. She also gave me the courage to fart in front of other people and not try to hold it in until I explode of gaseous-ness...I don't abuse the right, I promise.
And now, it's already time for some ranting. Remember "[Stock]er" kid? The one that basically kept tabs on all my doings in Wally world? Well, yesterday he decided I was his shrink and would listen to how stressed he is about everything in life...
Here's the deal; I am an excellent listener. I won't cut you off, I'll hear every word you say and I might even throw in an uplifting word or two when you're done. But only if your complaining is warranted. If you are spilling that your mom is in the hospital and your dog just got ran over while the haboob that just swept through your neighborhood spewed grainy, infinitesimal particles of sand into your car so now it's like the arabian desert every time you open the door...go ahead. Talk away. Cry on my shoulder if you have to.
But if you can't find one good thing to say about life I have nothing to say to you. There's always, and I mean always, something good to find about any given day. This kid went on about how he can come into work 7 days a week and is just fine but talking with his brother makes him stressed beyond belief. That he needs to get a new place to live. do it.
But God "effing" hates him (please do not use that vile word and God's name in the same sentence. That just makes it too hard to try and like you) and won't let him keep a good mood for more than "an hour".
First of all, exaggeration much?! Secondly, it's not God's fault you won't smile through the hardships. He gave you a wonderful smile, I seen it maybe once. It's your job to use it.
And then it got ridiculous and he talked about how he only has one simple dream in life; "to raise a kid". Which is, um, admirable but to say the least I would not want this kid to be the father of my children. After revealing that piece of information he went on to say that he "doesn't ask for much" and wouldn't mind if he couldn't play his video games all day (as if that's to prove he doesn't ask for much...o.O) and he just wants to be content. "I've never been content".
Well, doofus, that sounds like a personal problem. What, you want God to pour happiness serum straight into your brain? Turn on the happy switch at the center of your body? It doesn't work like that! You have to be happy. Happiness isn't a right. We have the right to happiness but you don't get it like it's some sort of complimentary feature in your making. You aren't entitled to be given happiness.
It takes work. Lots of work. And effort. Do you know how long and hard I have worked to be as happy as I am now? And you dare desecrate that by moaning about video games and living with a troublesome relative? I don't know what's going on in your life and I am sure that it is difficult to deal with, but that's what you got to do.
Deal with it.
Come what may and love it.
...actually, I don't particularly agree with that sentiment. I'll take what comes, sure, but I'm not going to "love" my mid-life crisis. We aren't going to be buddies. I'll find everything else in my life there is to "love" and leave my crisis in the "deal with" pile.
But anyway. I wanted to strangle that whiny, poo-poo pity party child yesterday and give him a good what-for but as I said, I didn't know what was going on and don't really have place to be doling out judgements...
I'm just saying he could work harder to smile. Hour long good moods? That's just ridiculous and ignorant. They have pills for that.
In other news, I learned a new word this week: "haboob". Coincidentally, this is what happens when you're an idiot and try to take a picture of said haboob...

Riiiiight. Flash + many tiny particles does not = quality picture. Mm. Stoopid.
It's been a long week and I'm ready to leave for California...not ready to leave boyfriend but I'm definitely ready to come back to boyfriend :)
Now that I'm ready for.
Please, people, please find the reasons to smile. They are so many and you don't want to squander them. I promise.
If you'd like a perfect example, go here ;)


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