Friday, June 10, 2011

Why You Must Like Me So??

There's a new purpose to this blog now, and I apologize for the immense sappy-ness of it. But here's the basic schedule rundown betwixt boyfriend and me:
Hope--works whenever Walmart declares it (so basically, sold my soul for $7.50/hr)
Boyfriend--...pretty consistently now at 9 PM to 6 AM...which means he sleeps till about 3 in the afternoon which also happens to be either in the middle or very near the beginning of my shifts.

Oh boo.

The only one that works out semi-nicely is when I work 7 am-3 pm and then there's about 5-6 hours we can hang out (oh, plus he doesn't work Mondays and Tuesdays....thank the Lord) but at the same time I didn't even get up at 7 to go to school so by 3 I'm the one that's exhausted but he just woke up and it's a big mess of not even being in the same time zone really. It might as well be that. I'm dating someone who lives on Germany time or something (to those of you in Germany, hi! I'm probably getting that all wrong and I apologize for that too. Just go with it).
So it's weird.
And it means I don't get to talk to him much.
Which means I'm gonna be on here a lot more often!! yay! Be excited with me...
Or don't.
You choose.
In other words, I'm bored and really want to talk to someone but I have nothing to talk about so I'll just ramble on here instead for your pleasure and enjoyment (or just a boredom-fix. That's cool too).
I mentioned the Walmart Nerds in my last post so now I'll talk about them a little bit. Firstly, I'd like to start off by saying they're all wonderful, great guys and I'm glad for the friendship but there are just a couple things they've done that are a little on the "/facepalm. That was awkward" side and I believe they are worth noting on here :)
#1: Quiet Cashier Guy- This dude is really sweet. Smiles all the time and always has a peaceful, content demeanor. He also will not allow me to pass by without saying 'hi' and asking how I'm doing. Which would be fine if it wasn't such a demanding scenario. I feel like if I don't acknowledge him I just might get a sneak attack football tackle so that I have to talk to him. I'm really not exaggerating.
#2: Baseball Cap Dude- Lissen, fellah. When I'm on break, I have 15 minutes to recooperate so I can stand around and deal with people for another couple hours. I want to close my eyes and meditate. Not listen to you explain which superhero movie is a complete flop and why.
#3: [Stock]er- (ps that was a clever pun for "stalker"...just fyi) When you always seem to appear wherever I am when I'm working, ask me what my weekly schedule is in great detail and also reveal the fact that you tried to "catch" me at lunch break but was apparently too late I begin to back away slowly and hope I can make a break for it. Seriously dude, calm down. Also? You come around to gather the garbage. I really don't think that's the appropriate time to begin a life-story conversation. Just sayin'.
#4: Too Desperate for Words- Alright. Um, I watched your bike for you. That doesn't mean we can date.
He came into the store to go to the backroom for something he forgot (I'm not even really sure what position he is, but apparently we've spoken before..../awkward). He locked up his bike and leaned it against the wall behind where I stand for greeting. When he got back he couldn't find his keys and almost got really panicky which made me a little scared. He started to walk away to go find them and I caught a glimpse of them swinging on his belt loop (to tell, or not to tell?). I stopped him and pointed them out asking, "Are those the keys?" He stops and looks down and kind of freezes then looks at me and shoots off into declaring how awkward and stupid that was of him and I'm trying to console him cuz it wasn't that big of a deal. He unlocks his bike, pulls it around and is just about to leave but turns around again and the following conversation took place...
TDW: Can I ask you a question?
Me: [guh, no you can't] Yeah, sure!
TDW: Well, I think I already know the answer....
Me: [Don't do it kid, don't do it] -weak laughter-
TDW: Are you single?
Me: [oh boyfriend, I could kiss you!] No, I'm not. -apologetic look-

He then proceeded to lament about how everyone else in this big wide open world is in a relationship but him and how he'll neeeeeever get a girl and all of a sudden I'm in charge of stroking this random mostly-stranger's ego out of the puddled slump it's in.
Confidence, my man. It's a beautiful thing.
Just because it's funny, not even 2 minutes after that most interesting exchange a customer was walking out. I'd greeted him when he came in earlier and he's a decently attractive fellow, around my age. Very punk-rockerish without the gothic emo side where you hope they won't whip out a gun and shoot every living thing in sight. I give the usual robotic reply in the best happy voice I can muster,
"Thank you! Have a good night!"
He glances over his shoulder to return the sentiment but sees me and stops. Turns around. Looks befuddled and says, "Are you always a door greeter?" I figured he was a regular or something and didn't recognize me so I replied, "Yes, that's my position. But I am new here so..." he shakes his head and cuts in, "No, I mean the greeters are always old. You're not old. You're cute."
And then leaves.
Really?? Seriously right now?! I cannot account for the sudden stream of attention because I can promise you, it was not one of my best days on the actually-getting-ready-for-the-day scale.
But anyway. It would be nice if I could make guyfriends and skip the part where they think I'm their soulmate.
Really. T'would be just loverly.
I appreciate the attention.....but I have nothing to do with it.
So meh.


  1. Meanwhile, I'm the awkward Walmart cashier who makes conversation by blurting out awkward questions... "Does the store-brand anti-diarrheal actually work?" "Looks like you're going to get crunk tonight, hope you don't do it around the kids!" "Haha... haha... I just forgot where I was, has that ever happened to you?*"

    *Only the last one has happened. For now. That and laughing randomly, probably at the comments I make in my head about anti-diarrea pills.

  2. I laughed out loud and got weird looks from my boyfriend at your diarrhea comment. Funnily enough, it wouldn't surprise me at all if you really had said those things.