Saturday, July 23, 2011

Vitamin D Overdose

Can you get bleached from the sun? If not, I totally managed it yesterday. I've developed these funky albino freckles and they really intrigue the point where I'm staring at my arms held out in front of me as I greet people at work. Which, naturally, makes them uncomfortable and I can't really blame them.
But hey, look at where you're shopping people. If you don't see something totally off the wall then you aren't really looking.
So! Besides possibly having cancer, it's been a relatively boring week....
Except for thursday-friday where I went on an adventure I didn't even really understand until I was expected to pack for it.
What I mean by that is my best friend from high school finally made it back to AZ since she moved to stinky texas and we were gonna go spend the day at saguaro lake ranch...or so I thought. Apparently, the idea was that we'd go kayaking thursday afternoon/evening, spend the night and chill friday morning for all the fun that is to be had in the deserty wilderness.
Ohhhh, right okay so I should like, bring clothes and hygiene stuff. HUH. Silly. That was a fun realization. baha.
Anyway, did you know that on the Verde River (where everyone does the Salt River Tubing...even though it's NOT the salt river o.O) there's a spot where it can almost be considered a Level 1 rapids? The scale being 1-5 with 5 being the worst. So basically it's nothing.
BUT! You try taking a picture while maneuvering through said almost Level 1:

Talent, I know right? That picture right there means I'm risking my own life for your guys' entertainment...except all it really means is I'm using one hand to awkwardly grip my unipaddle (it looks like Darth Maul's lightsaber but with, y'know, paddles at the end), not hit the trees and rocks poking up around the waves and hold the camera steady. It's a miracle I didn't crash. Honestly.

I realized driving out to the ranch, I have a problem on my hands.
I did it. I fell for arizona. I fell, and I fell hard. I grew up in utah and loved the greeny-green GREEN that there is there. Moved here to the dry, hard brown and resented it for...a long time. But um, darn it if AZ didn't worm her way into my heart. So I guess I'm lesbian for arizona. I dunno. Grey's Anatomy or something.

happy awkward feet there in the back. For the record, I do not have chest hair, that is just a biological phenomenon fuzzing around my chest/armpit at the bottom of the pic there. So in addition to possibly having albino freckle cancer I just may go blind for submitting my eyeballs (and tongue for that matter) to the elements unknown.

Ok. The water's a tad cold and I'm a tad wimpy. Whatever.

What's that? Too beautiful for words? I know. Yes.

Speaking of too beautiful for it so happens, a slough of marines miraculously showed up the same days we were there. Oh happy day. Also for the record! I did not take this picture. We were using the ranch manager's camera (we're kinda tight, ye-yeah) and her almost 12 year old son snagged the camera to stalk the army people. Little did he know he was doing me and best friend a huge favor. Haha!

I'm kind of legit. Nbd.
Speaking of legit, I did have a picture in here of myself trying to stand up and paddle....but here's what came of that little attempt:

I'm sort of unbalanced and clumsy when the ground is stable. Stick me on a plastic boat that's floating down a moving river and suddenly up is down and sideways meets my face.

I can also manage to stick myself in the worst possible place for a picture. That pillar does indeed have the word "Hope" spray painted on it, though my stupid fat head is in the way so you can't really read it. But it does.
I promise.

Girls are mermaids...some boys are mermaids, too.
It was loads of fun. Great to catch up and have oodles of giggling and silliness ensue. Even if I got cancer, diseases and scratches on my arm that look like a badger was pissed at me for no reason though I cannot, for the life of me, remember how I got them.
It must've been a traumatic experience and I blocked the badger out.
Which is funny because then that means I'm psychic and predicted my own demise in trying to draw a panda the other day and failing to the point that it looks a whole heckuva lot like a badger (ask boyfriend). Call me Professor Trelawny.
Best part about this little adventure was I didn't even have to miss work. I only had to endure endless jokes about how I looked like a lobster from 5-10 friday evening.
People would walk in, see me and go, "You got a little bit of sun, there..." like I didn't already know my shoulders, chest, neck and nose were scorched.
Plus, a cart pusher decided it was in his best interest to come up and poke my arm like some unidentified gelatinous lump on a beach and ask [jokingly], "Did you get sunburned?"
"Yes. Today stupid. Don't touch me."
Besides the 'stupid' part that's basically what I said. His face was priceless.
Moral of the story? Wear sunscreen and get as much fun as you can in life, while still managing to complete your responsibilities. The success of multi-tasking will make you happy, I promise :)
If it fails....well then you're screwed and destined to be a miserly old bag who hates cupcakes and laughing children.
And you have my utmost sympathy.

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