Saturday, July 2, 2011

Blogging isn't a Far Cry from "Blabbing"...

Blogging? What ees thees 'blahgging' of wheech oo speek?
SO I figured it's about time to put another post out there before somebody special decides it's time for me to die...because I haven't blogged...
Harsh, I know. But she loves me.
And so know, because I'm updating just to update...there's not really going to be much of a point to all this. I'll think of something, I promise (whoop, there's a promise. Breaking #1 rule of blogging. We're headed downhill already).
My bum is SUPER numb right now. You ever get that? Where it feels like you had your dear ol' gluteus maximus pumped full of plastic? I've been sitting on the floor basically since I got home from work at 8:30 (it's 11:09 right now. Also not the best time for me to be blogging when I've been harangued by walmart special people all week and am now supremely tired...a feat for which I congratulate myself because as a "people greeter" I should not be tired. I'm just a wimp is all...).
Ooh, but I came home, ate a green popsicle cuz um, it's kinda hot outside (118 degrees in the garden center people. I wanna see you do it and not blog about it later). Then my momma cut my hair cuz she's awesome like that and I don't exactly like paying crazy loads of money for somebody to snip some hairs on my head (no worries those who know me, I only have bangs now, that's all). And then? I went to my room and did some crafts and watched some hulu and pinned some pinterest and well, wasted a whole bunch of lovely time.
Twas superb.
And guess what?
I haven't seen boyfriend for 3 days. It's saturday and the last time I saw him was...was...dang it,I don't even remember. But that's the point. Haven't seen him in 3 days and I'm [mostly] ok with it. I'm getting better! The love-puke bug has worked it's way through me and I'm proud to say I'm on track to normal...however normal I was before...meh.
No guarantees for tomorrow morning, though. Sorry. His face just kinda makes my body react in ways only puppies should be allowed to react....except I don't pee all over the floor. That's just gross.
So my bum's numb, my brain's fried and I make fantastic birthday cards. That's all I'm sayin'.
I do have a problem, however, and that would be my job. Because see, um, Wally-world is like Disneyland but a lot more affordable. And I'm that ADHD squirrel with a tendency to magnetically attract to shiny things (shiny being a relative term and meaning "interesting to a low IQ person"....aka everything). And wally-world? Has ev-er-y-thing. Every night I'm tempted to get some of those eye blinders for horses so I don't wander the aisles till I hafta clock back in again. Because now I can afford that stuff. But I really can't. I can buy it but I can't 'afford' it. Which is dumb. The crafts aisle just makes me wanna cry.
On top of that, I've been sincerely trying lately to be ugly for these dumb boy coworkers but it's just never good (erm, bad?) enough. They keep comin' on like I'm projecting love-me sex hormones right at their faces. The other night? One was pulling along a pallet jack with, what else, a bunch of pallets on top. Like 5 or 6. I'm on my way to clock out for lunch or something and we pass, say hi, it's almost cool and then he goes,
"Hey Hope, can I squish you with these?"
You want to 'squish' me? With a bunch of wooden pallets...I needed a WTF?! stamp to pound on his forehead.
I said no, naturally, and he went on grinning like we were having a nice, pleasant tea party and continued to let me in on his fetish with "squishing people".
I dunno. It's wally-world. We're all a tad crazy.
Thankfully, boyfriend enjoys these stories. He is the jealous type, but the healthy jealous type where it only becomes a problem if I'm reacting to the third-party attention in a positive way. This is definitely not a positive reaction. His exact words in reply to that particular scenario were: "Yeah, it's nice," (in response to me saying the attempts at flirting make great stories for later) "reminds me how grateful I am to have you. Not have to look stupid coming up with something like that so you'll remember me."
Except there were cute little type-o's and text-speak...
But on a side-note, I'm not vain or conceited or full of pretty little bubbles of how awesome I am. I am well aware that not every guy wants me, or under the impression that every guy should want me. I'm so sincerely glad they don't. It's hard to relate these happenings without sounding like I'm that snotty, primped and polished brat at the parties and you just wanna pop 'er a good one straight on the nose. But you grin thinly and scoot away as quick as possible because she's not worth the time or the she has connections. She'd make life miserable. More miserable...
That's all.
Guys like me and they show it in funny ways. That's all that I'm drivin' at...really...if ya think about it.
Golly, I've rambled enough. Thank you for your time, glad to be of service and try not to eat too much cake. Hard to enjoy the aftertaste when your tummy wants to give you the real aftertaste.
Happy networking to you! :)

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