Thursday, January 16, 2014

Women's Fashion aka Turd Fest

  • Decorative pockets
    • The number one insult to humanity. It's like lies and deceit woven into your clothing. Why would you want that? WHY?

  • Pockets so tiny you can only snugly fit a quarter.
    • This is pointless, give me the decorative pockets back.

  • Translucent tees
    • Flowy button-ups and blouses I understand, but really? A capsleeve, solid color tee?


  • Women's size charts are basically based on whim.
    • Oh, you mean jean size? No, wait, dress size. European? 

  • Women's hiking sneakers selection without having to go to a specialty store.
    • Whoa, whoa, want ankle support and a tongue with decent coverage? Oh, and good luck getting those in 'waterproof'. Also, your laces will fray in a couple days. Cheerio.

  • Pantyhose.
    • Just...pantyhose.
    • No but really, getting them on, keeping them on, getting them off, storing them, rips, fuzzballs, static cling, wedgies, they are everything wrong with the world.
    • ^may contain hyperbole

Ahhh, that felt good to say.