Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Say my name, say my name

Gale. (Gail?)

All of these and probably more have been used at least once in place of my actual name. (which is "Hope", by the way. In case that wasn't clear.) Most commonly used are Faith and Holly for obvious reasons; including, but not limited to, simple association. I practically answer to Faith because it's easy enough to gather that they mean me, I mean they're looking at me and directing their voice at me, right? Faith is close enough. And I'm getting used to Holly. I really like the name so I don't mind being associated with it.
'Gale/Gail' was weird. I think it was because I had a best friend in private school named Gail and maybe our teacher got us mixed up. I dunno.
'Harp' is more of a tongue-twister than a name mishap. It happens more often than you'd think. People see that I play the instrument. "Harp" and "hope" are two four-letter words that begin with H. Chaos ensues.
'Pope' was the dumbest thing I've ever experienced and totally humiliating for both myself and the perpetrator. It was sixth or seventh grade I believe and we were in Music Class playing a get-to-know-you game involving sitting in a circle and using people's names. The resident popular cheerleading blonde crony was taking a turn and attempted to send the "ball" to my court by calling out, "Pope."
Naturally, I didn't answer. People were confused. She was staring at me. "Pope? That's your name right?" Doubt crept into her face as I just sat dumbfounded and she mumbled apologetically, "Sorry, I wasn't sounded like..."
Pope? As in the head of the catholic church? My parents are neither hicks nor celebrities, so NO. My name is NOT "Pope".
'Paige' is happening because the girl who previous-previously filled my current position was named Paige. So that makes sense. Luckily, she was an excellent worker and well-liked so I can at least be complimented by that.
I mention all this because here's where I take issue with people calling me by a wrong name. If you've been repeating "Paige" or "Faith", or what have you, over and over again and finally are almost about to shout it before I realize somebody sounds like a parrot, turn around, and meet your gaze; please understand that I have no idea you've been saying that name for 2 minutes straight because it's not my name.
That's not my name!
I do not respond to it.
It doesn't register in my brain.
Heck, 'hope' barely registers because, go figure, it's an actual word used quite often in the English language so I learned early on to not jump to attention every time it graces my ears. So why make it awkward for all of us and be pissed off that I didn't answer, or a weird combination of mad and embarrassed (mostly with yourself) that I now have to play off as coolly as I can? Don't make me do that.
Just chuckle at yourself, and wave me over.
No hard feelings.

Disclaimer: This is in no way a pointed remark at anyone in particular (except you blonde cheerleader from middle school) (just a little bitter humor) and what I'm hoping to get across is that I'm totally laid back about my name and I take no offense when/if you call me something other than "Hope".
I've been called much, much worse, I assure you.
<mysterious eyebrows and sultry wink>
<I don't know what I meant by that>

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