Monday, September 23, 2013

Mourn with Those That Mourn

I just received word that a dear and special soul has left this world via suicide.
I am sick at heart.
Sick that he didn't feel needed. Sick that I didn't do more. Sick that his smile is gone.
I can't quite comprehend it. He couldn't possibly be gone. He has too much life left. Too much opportunity. Too much love in his heart. I could never be gloomy with him around. I looked up to him, literally and figuratively, as a shining example of a warm and welcoming heart. I looked forward to seeing him. I enjoyed his presence.
It is terrible that he felt so alone.
No one should ever be that alone.

I feel the need to encourage you to open up to people. Let people know your struggle. Let them help. Life is too hard to do alone. Find your support.
I may not know you very well, but I am an excellent listener. Like, for realz guys. And I have a firm belief that you are worth living. I can promise you no matter what is going wrong, no matter how bad it is, this escape is not the answer.
There are people who want to help you. There are people with open arms. Ask for the hugs you need. Cry on the shoulders of those who love you. Allow others to serve you.
You are good.
You are important.
You are needed.
You are loved.
Don't you dare give up before you've sought help.
Please share your pain. Share it with your parents. Share it with your friends. Share it with me!

And Coty,
I am sorry. I'm sorry that you couldn't see how loved you are. I hope wherever you are you can feel the prayers being said and the tears being shed for you right now. I will cherish my memories of you. New York with you was a treasure. Choir would not have been the same. You made me feel welcome and I appreciated your sincere friendship.
I have been affected by you in the greatest possible way. You've made me better.
I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you.
I'm grateful I got the blessed chance to know you and partake in your sweet selflessness. I hope you have found the peace and clarity you were searching for.
You are deeply missed.

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