Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Love is...Beautiful?

The more I live in married life the more I'm becoming a rom-com skeptic. Don't get me wrong, I still get a kick outta ole K Hiegl and James Marsden kickin' each other's verbal trash and with a good soundtrack, that reunion moment after the heartbreaking climax will indeed give my heart the flutters but GOOD GOLLY GRACIOUS, how unrealistic can they get?
I know they're called "romantic comedies" but when I say 'holy romanticized' I mean "pfffft, yeah. Sure. The guy would totally say/do/want that."
"Of course! Of course every candlelit dinner quantifies in revealing and bonding conversation ending in rampaging stripping of the clothes going upstairs...cuz that works."

I am not, however trying to make the point that rom-coms are dumb and need to be more realistic. That's why we like movies (most of the time). Because they skip over reality. Whatever.
My point is...
my husband and I are TOTALLY not a rom-com.

First of all, we're totally comfortable exchanging pictures such as these...

That would be the after effect of tonight's Zumba glass and I thought it looked remarkably like a terrified ghost-specter thing. So I said so in the picture message to Mark.
He replied with these gems of hilarity;
"You work out so hard it's scary!"
And for a moment I thought he was actually flirtatiously joking with me but then...
"Make the fat melt in horror!"
Oh, yay. Sweat/fat puns. Yes let's joke about my disgusting body. Wonderful.

After that little exchange, I'm trolling the interwebz and after scratching my itchy shoulder discover this lovely patch of...loveliness.

Poor quality picture, I know. But they're little bubbles all over this one patch of my left shoulder. So I sent another picture message.
Because that's what you do.
Mysterious, bulbous, possibly toxic (ahem, dramatization) pockets of bodily fluid? Send a picture to your loved one! Sure to rouse them into an incurable fit of stimulating passion frenzy something!
His theory?
Sweat caught in my burnt skin cells from the sunburn. 
"...or worms from the lake."
Thank you dear, for that lovely image.

Now, you may be wrinkling your nose to this post and asking yourself, "WHY would you share this with other people....people other than the one who agreed to spend his life tending to your fluidious mysteries?"
And to that I say
I refrained from splaying it all over facebook, be glad of that.

"splaying" may not be the correct verb there but it's a very colorful and pungent word. So deal.

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