Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Alright Universe, you have now crossed a line that...should not have been crossed!
/waggles finger at Universe
/pointer finger

Srsly though. Facebook is really quite insensitive when it comes to dropping little information atomic bombs on your delicate and blissfully ignorant psyche. There's a girl I know getting married. Big deal, whoop whoop, who ISN'T nowadays??
No, you don't understand. She was a Beehive when I was a Laurel. If that makes no sense to you, basically I'm like Mushu and Mulan is dashing off to save China. Problem is, she's a girl I knew in Utah and since I moved down to Arizona very soon after that Beehive:Laurel ratio was in place she is still that cute little innocent girl in my mind. And she's getting married.
She's gonna go off into the world and start her dependent life! She's gonna have s-e-x. She's gonna do all these great and wonderful things and and and...
Why do I feel like an old maid??
Honestly. I am stoked that I made it this long without getting hitched. I'm tickled pink ('cept not pink cuz that's an atrocious color) that my life turned out this way. That I get to really "grow up" without a permanent attachment to my character. Because I know me and I know that once I'm married my husband will be as much a part of me as I am me now. I love that I've had some college as a semi-sorta-single young woman ("single" meaning "not Mrs."). I could not be more excited for this up and coming fall semester where I'll be traveling off to Anaheim, California to live away from every person I know, live in an apartment with complete strangers and work for my way in life. Single...-ish.
(Speaking of Cali, though, I got my new address and insurance information in an email today. An address. Where I'll be living. 1.5 miles away from the Disneyland Park. One point five.)
I mean no one is being fooled here, the whole NOT being in a relationship with boyfriend whilst I'm in another state plan is totally not going down. At all. It has about as much of a success-rate as me bearing a baby panda in the next month....I'd need at least a few months. We were going to try "breaking up", which sounds really harsh but really in just a mellow way of not being boyfriend and girlfriend.
It's totally lame and not gonna happen. He's making me get skype for heavens' sake.
Room-mate: "So you got a boyfriend, Hope?"
Me: "Uhhh...nope. No. Single! Wooh."
Rm:" Oh? Then, uhm, who's that guy you skype with every day all the time constantly?"
Me: "....he's my sassy gay friend. No you can't read our conversations."

Skype's chatting right? I don't even know, it's sad. I think there's audio involved. I dunno. It's high-tech and totally beyond my intelligence radar. Not even close. Dark space is where it is. Not really, but you get the idea.
Basically, all that will really happen is...I'll move away and we won't kiss anymore. Yup. Oh, and I'll flirt heinously with every straight man in sight (soooo, in other words, I move away and no kissing).
Moving on! Despite being completely happy with my relationship status I still swoon and sigh and revisit each and every wedding photo album that comes up on my News Feed every day for at least a couple weeks or so. Months if it's actually someone I like (such as the wonderful Allie, you'll love her I promise ;]).
I do so dearly want to get married...eventually. I want to nod off in bed while someone (not that I have any clue as to who...) jabbers on and on about the next dorky computer thing he figured out. I want to slip out of bed quietly in the morning and make eggs because I CAN AND I WILL SUCCEED!! (eggs are my achilles heel. another story for another time.) plus bacon and pancakes and all sorts of yumminess. I want to make a trail of post-it notes from the front door, across the floor, up on the walls and ceiling to the bedroom with little messages on them for when he gets home from work. I want to death-glare him into doing the dishes and putting laundry where it's supposed to go.
I want to be a half of a whole.
But I am content in just being my own sorta-whole for now.
........she's just my beehive!! x[
it's weird.
Don't judge me.
In other news, my wrist is stupid and isn't helping me ward off the desperate Walmart nerds who seem to think my smiling at their pun means we're destined for children who play WoW and eat cheezburgers. Not that there's anything wrong with WoW or cheezburgers. I'd just like a say in my projected futures...
But that'll be a rant for another time :)
Hasta la pasta!!


  1. this is brilliant.
    love you.

  2. Well you're brilliant. Like, 100^billionth watt brilliant. haHA!

    p.s. hopefully none of our stinkin' smart guyfriends see that math...
    I know it's wrong, OKAY?!?

  3. I know how this feels. I am in the same boat as you. At least you don't have brother-in-law's explaining to each other and everyone why girls don't get asked out and what wrong with them and that is why they are single. LOL. I think they are forgetting that I am one of those girls. So I see people younger then me get married. And my bro-in-laws tell me what's wrong with me.