Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Regret? Throw it out the window.

Well. I have now joined the blogging world...I might regret this later. Hopefully not, but we'll see how good I am at sticking to it.
For any who may be reading this at any point in time, just know that this is really more for my benefit than yours. I'm what you might call a pathological pack-rat. What I mean by that is the only real way I get any semblance of sanity in my life is by writing out what I keep stored in my mind for much too long a time. So here is my next attempt at keeping relatively sane...enough to keep the men in white coats off my back a little longer.
Plus! Headed to California in barely over 3 months now and I doubt I'm gonna wanna sit down at my cute little desk and pull out my cute little journal and scribble down cute little thoughts with my cute little pen after I've been constantly standing up and dealing with tourists all day long. Oh believe me, I'm more stoked for this internship than anything I've ever done before in my life ('specially considering it's kind of THE biggest thing I've ever done....seriously. You think I'm kidding. I'm not.) but I am not disillusioned by the fact that Disneyland is the "happiest place on earth". Love it there. Know I'm gonna hate it for a good percentage of my internship. It's inevitable. People engender animosity. But luckily, I've got a background in music and personally, I have no doubt that singers are inherently designed to be the biggest divas that will try your patience to no end (utmost sympathy to pianists everywhere. Be strong, guys. You're not alone.) and so I feel a bit more prepared to deal with customers with heads too big for the doorway...given the fact that Disneyland is designed to be 1/8 scale smaller to average buildings and such.
But anyway. Regret. What a dumb invention. Here, let me make a mistake and be stuck with living it over and over again in my head throughout the rest of my life...when nobody else remembers. Now remorse, that's sublime. Good job, Timmy, glad you know cutting your sister's hair while she's sleeping is WRONG and that you're sorry, but poor little Timmy doesn't hafta lay awake at night and apologize to his wife of 15 years for his crimes against the female gender when he was 5.
Regret is only guilt. Guilt is only a byproduct of feeling ashamed. Shame only comes when you have to answer to someone else. Let it go. Apologize where you need to and get on with your life. You're missing what's happening now! Forget about last week, last month, last year, get out into today! Learn and move on.
In other news, I hate my haircut. Tune in next time for the 'why'! :)


  1. First of all i love that this was posted at 11:11... :) huzzah! second, I AM SO GLAD YOU HAVE A BLOG!!! I'm not nearly brave enough to start one. My writing style isn't NEARLY cute enough! but anyways, i'm so glad i get a little bit more Hope in my day now!! please write often... like once a day. :P but please post thoughts, stories, dreams and dreams and reasons why you love me... and just anything else that you think i would like to know. haha your blog is now successfully bookmarked and starred and in my Favorites toolbar! <3 <3 <3 okay well i'm done, but just know that i COMPLETELY support you.

    GAH! I love you more than you could ever know!!!

  2. Oh my goodness, I didn't even notice that!! huzzah! woot 11:11.

    I should just start an Allie tab and post stuff to that all the time x] It'll keep me from wanting to post on your facebook every other MINUTE. baha.