Friday, July 11, 2014

In Which We Fangirl Obscenely

And now! A list of my favorite Marvel superheroes as experienced in the Joss Whedon "Avengers" smorgasbord of awesome and epicosity. (I've legit been living under the impression that "epicosity" was a word, thanks Tobuscus) (although the squiggly red line is suggesting I use "bellicosity" which is to say "aggressive, and willing to fight" and is, really, not far off base tbh)
I've never read an actual comic book in my whole life. I've never seen a Superman movie. (My heart is still broken that I have no legitimate claim to be lusting after Henry Cavill.) (JK gaiz, 7 Deadly Sins whaddup) Literally the only reference I have for these characters are the recent blockbusters so please don't judge me too harshly for not knowing all there is to know about alternate backstories and such.
I'm a hardcore Whedonite though, I do have that going for me at least. #browncoatsunite

The award for tippy top most favorite goes to; 

Director Phil Coulson.
I knoooow, he's technically not a superhero but that's kinda what appeals to me. There's no radiation. There's no magical serum. There's no billions of dollars and a horde of IQ points backing his gadgets and gizmos. He's just a normal guy with a penchant for integrity and passion for do-gooding. He's the R2-D2 fix-all end-all of the bunch. Now, things changed a little bit when "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D" resurrected him (in super creepy and traumatic ways, no crazy spoilers here) so we have yet to see really where this reborn Coulson can take his power-not-powers.

Tied for runner up favorite;

(Mm, dat sepia tone tho)

Robert Downey J...I mean, uh, Tony Stark/Iron Man and Steve Rogers/Captain America

Admittedly, Iron Man could very well be attributed to how much I enjoy RDJ and his excellent acting. I love his Sherlock Holmes as well, and I just honestly enjoy watching his work.
I love that Iron Man has very human struggles with balancing superhero work and trying to also be a "normal" important human. I like that he's rough around the edges and a little-bit-lot troubled and has lots of growing up to do. I like that we get to see that growing up. I like his dynamic with Pepper. I like his burgeoning morals.
Conversely, I love Rogers' innate goodness. But he's one that's almost "too" good. Where's the catch with this guy? He comes off a little haughty and goody-two-shoes-er but I mean who can really blame him, honestly. I don't even care how sucky the general public says his first movie was, I still get teary when he and Peggy are saying goodbye and they never get their dance, and OMG she has dementia in the second movie are you kidding me. And it's all only exacerbated by how nonsensical it is that he had to get frozen in the first place. But I'm not here to talk about plot or criticize the movies.
Cap is a guy with stiff, unwavering morals who has to learn that it doesn't make things any easier to be sure of what you believe. It can make things just as complicated as being an open-minded willy nilly. (Neither of those is a bad thing to be.) Things can always change. He trusts his heart and unfalteringly chooses to do the things he thinks are best. He's the epitome of "good intentions".


I am simultaneously bewildered and slightly mortified by how attracted I am to this character. #confession

Next in the rankings of favoritism;

Classic gif is classic.
Natasha Romanov/Black effing Widow
She's so cool. I want to be her. Even with the red ledger. I mega appreciate the fact that they've kept her sizzling sexuality but she's so much more than a token set of boobs in a boys' franchise (but what else do you expect from good ol' Joss?) and her nifty outfit makes me happy. Skin coverage? Utility? Efficiency? wat is dis??
But like I said, she's so much more than what she looks like. She's kickbutt. What even is her superpower? Just being totally bada**. She holds her own in the midst of demi-gods, "genius billionaire playboy philanthropist"'s, super soldiers, and mutant, invincible green beasts. She's ruthless. Yet she's so blessedly loyal it's a marvel (eh? eh?) she can even hold herself together. Those scenes where they watch Fury die on the table? The tangible closeness you can sense at the grave scene? You get the idea that she considers him family and she fiercely protects her family.
She so in charge of her femininity and it's so refreshing.
Plus she's a manipulative super spy extraordinaire. Nbd.

Followed with;

Hawkeye/Clint something-or-other? Ah, Barton

He's so randomly there and you sometimes forget about him but the snark and level of bizarre that Jeremy Renner brilliantly plays into the character really speaks to me. Is he serious? Is he just that quiet guy that's secretly hilarious if only you get close enough to hear the things he says? Is he underdeveloped or just mysterious? I love it. He's the plucky guy with nerves of steel and a cache of [oddly never ending] arrows yet somehow manages to keep up.
And throw me to the gallows if you must, but I am a huge Clint/Natasha shipper. But I praise the writers for letting it be slow and only teasing hints thus far in the movies. (And THANK DE LAWD for Black Widow getting to be just Cap's peer in Winter Soldier rather than one more romance drivel. Yaaaaaassss.)

After which comes;

Bruce Banner/Hulk

How many of you want to strangle me if I say I've never seen a single Hulk movie? Not one. So I don't know much about the hulk other than the Jekyll and Mr. Hyde scenario and big, green, strong, "hulk smash".
But personally, I am an enormous fan of Mark Ruffalo's portrayal. I like that he's haunted by his capability and that it's not something he just immediately accepts and considers part of himself. He really struggles with it. But through hard work and with the help of some unlikely friends (the Science Bromance warms my little heart) he progresses and comes to relative terms with "the other guy".

It is a testament to how much I just love all of the Avengers that the bottom of this list is dedicated to a character that I still very much like;


No alter ego there. Logically and rationally I will concede that the Thor movies are a little scatterbrained and tedious (Sorry Ali, just...deep breaths) BUT I JUST LURVE THEM. I have a weakness for Natalie Portman that defies reason and I think I just really want her to be happy. Er, I mean her characters. I want her characters to be happy.
I like the idea of Jane Foster, the passionately geeky scientist who happens into an inter-universal romance regardless of the lack of development in said relationship.
"I hit you with my car and woah your biceps. Let me love you."
He digs brainy chicks, I guess.
And yet I love it. So much. I really cannot adequately express why.
Plus Darcy. All the Darcy.
Basically, I love Thor's movie and the individual characters more than I love Thor himself. So that's why he's at the bottom of the list.
But I do appreciate his big...heart (not where you thought I was going, eh? ya little nasteh), and his transition from entitled brat prince to kindhearted, goofy, hammer wielding meatsack of awesome. I mean honestly, how do you even describe Thor?? If Loki were a jet black, mean, conniving cat, Thor would be the fluffiest, tawniest, doofiest labrador puppy.

Honorable Mention:

Maria Hill

Because BAMF.

Something that I realized from this silly list is that I am particularly interested in the people "behind" the superhero. I like to know where that person comes from, what they're like beyond their "powers", what makes them who they are and these recent installments in the Marvel universe seem, to me, like they're doing a marvelous job. (okay, I'm done with the puns. sorry.)
And really, honestly, this is hardly a definitive list. It changes all the time. Basically the first three are steadily my top favorites and the rest are just a jumble of "I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH" hugs all around.

So when does Age of Ultron come out again??

Update: 7/14/2014
Also, in rereading this post I discovered that I was a bit misleading in a few of my comments. I DO realize that Superman is of the DC universe rather than Marvel and I do NOT submit to the idea that superheroes are solely meant for boys. Of the former blip I was merely trying to convey that I am not a well-read comic fan and of the second mistake I just didn't notate my sarcasm. Oops.
Carry on!


  1. Hahahahaha I've been laughing through this entire post! And thank you for the mention! I totally agree that the Thor movies are kinda strange but I liked them more than the first Cap.....don't hate me. JUST the first one though, cuz come on WINTER SOLDIER!! I just love Thor/Chris Hemsworth hahaha I like to look at him ;)

  2. Also, NO SUPERMAN MOVIES EVER!?!?!? WHAT???? Christopher Reeve is like MY guy! And I actually LOVED Man of Steel (no haters here!) so we'll have to watch it one of these days!