Last post; October 19th.
That is just SAD.
No, but really. We keep blogs to hold written accounts of what's going on in our lives but once life really gets exciting and actually worth recording it, in turn, translates to no time. IRONY. Bummer nut.
I'm only here because if you scroll through my facebook page about 80% of my statuses are about babies and pregnancy and more babies. But not in the "Oh, I'm so excited to have a baby!" way. It's more like, "Put that thing back where it came from or so help me! So help me!"
We are sooo not ready to have a baby. And every time I say that it makes me so nervous cuz I can just see God up there being all like, "O rly? BAM. Preggers." Cuz, y'know, God's always caught up on the current lingo and whatnot. He's cool like that. But seriously, I always kinda look up at the sky sheepishly and say a quick little prayer that we can just hold off a little while longer until we get into a house.
I won't even let us bring a dog into our apartment here, let alone a tiny HUMAN. I mean, we're not the streets of Harlem or nuthin' but it's pretty ghetto-scary-town here. And small. People always scoff when I say our apartment is so small considering it's technically a 3-bedroom and a den but we get cheap rent from Mark's dad (our landlord) because he gets to keep his stuff in our backyard and one of the larger bedrooms. So yeah! Room is limited. Stop judging me.
And my goodness, lately there is so much baby love on facebook that there's no way I can resist the baby urges. Not to mention, one of our good friends has a 3 week old baby (I think, somewhere in that range of tiny) and I got to hold her for nearly an hour last saturday and darn-it-all if it didn't confuse me all to heck.
I'd never ever ever held a baby that small and I found myself constantly loosening my grip on her little precious head because I was so afraid she was gonna swing one way to look at something and I'd end up hurting her. But eventually we worked out a system and she eased up on the squirming and was content to just let me cradle her and stare at her perfect little face.
There is seriously a dangerous science to hormones, guys. Dangerous. And while I wasn't like "OMG BABY" raging urge to pants Mark and make a baby the minute we got home, it planted this little seed of wonder and desire. It's been a week now and every day it's gotten stronger and more resilient to my misgivings and pathetic attempts to convince myself "I don't want a baby yet!"
Confession: I totally wants da childrens.
Maybe.
I told you, I'm super confused about it.
It helps that America's Funniest Home Videos has these clips of babies shooting milky puke out every hole in their face or the times when they get their pudgy little fingers on markers, or peanut butter, or something else messy and smear it over every surface they can reach and I remember, "oh yeah, I can totally wait for that."
But then I read the blogs and see the pictures on facebook and it's so much easier to want a baby than to continually tell myself I don't just yet.
And here's a little secretish-not-secret. I just kinda called in and skipped out on my last depo shot back at the end of october and just decided I was done. Who knows when it'll wear off. Who cares? Unprotected sex? Sure! No big deal. I dunno when/if my period will come back, you don't mind do ya honey? We just kinda agreed we'd start using condoms in january and hope that until then none of his little swimmers would stick to my uterus. GREAT PLAN.
But for your information, we're definitely not pregnant yet and we're not waiting till January no more. So.
In short, I can't have a baby yet but I'm slowly and surely REAAALLY wanting one but I can't and house first and dog first and maybe I should work on keeping a plant alive first (yay for our potted bamboo baby?) and STOP POSTING ABOUT YOUR PRECIOUS BABIES.
But don't. Cuz I love it.
Such as Kimber Cutler, her blog here. The pictures of her hubby holding their baby boy about made me cry and I'm pretty sure my uterus did do a little happy jig.
And Alexis Solomon, beautiful maternity pictures here. Shout out to Clint's face in ALL the pictures. Oh, the love. I just can't handle it.
And then there's JT and Tamzon with baby Rori (dude, JT blog post man c'mon!). And Leah with her progressively growing baby bump. And plenty other's on facebook with their statuses and pictures and questions.
Screw you guys and your contagious happiness. THLBHPLGHTPHTH :P
Being pregnant sucks, that's all I'm saying! ;)
ReplyDeleteAnd your whole depo-condom deal... that's EXACTLY how I ended up right here. :P I skipped my shot in January, we tried for a little while, after about 5 months of nothing (and when we decided Eric was getting out of the Army) we decided to prevent again, and we weren't even really having sex that much cause we were stressed and Eric was working almost 20 hour days. AND BAM. Little baby polar bear is kicking up a fit in my uterus.
So good luck! ;)