I do believe in fairies! I do!

I guess it's high time for another round of honeymoon stories :) Considering I've only done one post on it. I was totally convinced I'd talked about it previously, considering I think about it all the time and of course I always blog what I think about right when I think about it.........
:ahem:
So I guess last time we went through favorite moments.
Now...I dunno. I'll just upload pics and talk. Good plan.

We went to the Aquarium!!

I'd been there before, considering

my sister used to live seriously maybe 10

minutes away from the site.

But Mark hadn't! :D

Nom nom suction cuppy thingies

(ooh, ooh! New joke I only just heard yesterday;

Why does the little mermaid wear seashells?

eh? eh?

............

Because she couldn't fit into

D-shells! xD)

(I laughed an absurd amount in the middle

of the breakfast aisle at baby walmart.

Sad, I know)

Hawlo, there! 

I know it's not really as cool as I think it is,

but I just love that between the camera and his face,

there's actually a huge tank of water

and all sorts of bizarre

aquatic biology.

So amazing!

As a matter of fact,

Yes.

I did know my husband is 

SUPER attractive.

As well as I knew that

I am a dork.

I love the otters so much,

I'm including them again.

Baby otter noming!

Oh, I would just die if I could ever touch one.

Or at least sob in complete ecstasy.

Sorta like this...

Ellen has got to be one of THE most entertaining show hosts...of all time. Seriously. I hardly ever come across a video from her show and get bored. 

Let's take just a minute and reflect on how absolutely beautiful and perfect our honeymoon location was, shall we?

It seriously felt like a fairytale world.

Perhaps aided by our similar

desert rat upbringing.

Rain sticking around for weeks on end?

Rain lasting all day long?

Smells and green and a bright sun

you don't feel piercing right through your skin?

Plus those magical, overgrown steps.

I'd say we had a jolly good time :)

Adorbsicle

Sitting on the bathroom floor, browsing the interwebz, chatting with the hubby as he sits in the bathtub with the shower on.
Steam is nice...for some people.
It actually makes me feel nauseous and claustrophobic and I can't shower without the door open.

In fact, here's a tidbit of exactly what Mark just randomly, out of complete silence said to me;
"Sometimes I wish I could just open a shop..."
look over in consternation
"Of some kind. I don't know why."
"I think it would be cool to open a pawn shop. But then it's a pawn shop and you have to be all shady and stuff."

I don't think Mark knows I include direct quotes from him right into my posts. Naturally, the moment he said shop I didn't think of a sword place, or something to do with machines or vehicles or manly-manliness. I pictured him surrounded by mountains of cupcakes.
It's a tad absurd, I tell you what.

I'm just a fan of chillin' with my best friend and the fact that I don't have to feel guilty or begin panicking soon about how I should be driving home to meet curfew in a few minutes. I like grocery shopping with my hunny and catching him sneak strawberry syrup into the cart, and sliding down the aisles. I love Love. And I don't actually hate people. In case you were feeling a little put out from my last post.

Thank you, and goodnight.

I HATE PEOPLE...mostly

Voice:"Hawlo, am I speeking to 'foh-eight-seero seex-two-seero seero-nine-seex.....uh, nine'?"
me: "Yes."
Voice: "garble-marble-mumble-jambalaya-ruttabaga, how are yoo tooday?"
me: "Fine."
Voice: "...whell, goot."
[silence]
Voice: "blah-blah-merghetty-something-maybe-I'm-speaking-english-maybe-I'm-not-..."
me: "I'm sorry, I can't understand you. I don't know what you're saying."
Voice: "Mees Andersen, yoo are ell-ee-gible for marble-garble-mucky-whobawhatty tooday for..."
me: "I don't want it."
[silence]
Voice: "Eet's just a $25 dining gift card for..."
me: "I don't want it."
Voice: "Mees Andersen, eet ees just a thank yoo gift from..."
me: "NO. I don't want it. Thank you anyway.
Voice: "...Any parti-q-lar reazon why?"
me: "Don't want it. Don't need it. I'm just fine. Thank you.
Voice: "Oh-kay, Mees Andersen. Yoo have goot day now."
me: "Yeah, bye."


That was my most recent conversation with Raj from BBT except not really because it's actually just some low-life solicitor abusing my phone number.
Look, I'm sorry your life sucks enough that you have to sit in a call center and get rejected by every human you ever speak with but HOLY COW I HAVE NO SYMPATHY.
I don't understand why in spanish class, or french, or german or whatever they make a big deal about learning the right accent and how to stress the proper syllables and all that junk. That's why we have "oral" tests, to make sure we're saying the words right. HOW COME nobody is expected to do that in english? Every oriental, middle-eastern, hispanic immigrant sounds just as unintelligible as when they first started speaking the language. And WHY the BLOODY DICKINS are they the ones that make the phone calls?
Yeah, $100 of free Walmart groceries sounds nice but I don't wanna repeat the same info 7 times over the course of 40 minutes without understanding a word you say. Nor do I want to continue to get calls from you every 3 hours after that about the next deal you're forced to shove down my throat.
"Any particular reason why?"
BECAUSE I FREAKING DON'T WANT IT!
I don't want you taking my debit card number and using it to promote some bizarre anti-wrinkle cream complex serum mumbo-jumbo. I don't want to be a member of "DubLi fun shopping". I don't want it.
So back off and let me delete your existence from my life.

I apologize. I'm so pissed off. Whatever organization this is has completely ruined the past 4 days of my life. I'm now having to drive in to a Wells Fargo location and order a new debit card. Which, /sigh, is fine I guess considering I need a new one anyway. My current one can hardly swipe anymore without needing a plastic bag wrapped around it. Who first thought of that anyway?
I ALSO, am going to have to change phones because you guys suck. Awesome. We'll see if my email is compromised, too.


You know what would be super cool? If I actually knew how to use the internet.
[frustration]
I'm gonna go before I break something, possibly myself.

My lips are chapped...

I hate going to bed at 8.
There. I said it.

I'm sorry but getting up at bloody 4 in the morning and doing stuff before the sun is awake when I could just snuggle up in bed and vacuum the silly carpet at 8 instead, is just not something I can easily motivate myself to do. It's a darn good thing Mark's starting a new position at goDaddy at the end of the month that'll be on a more "regular" schedule cuz this is getting obnoxious. He tried many times to convince me to just adjust to the sleep cycle he was on but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I love sleep too much. Does that make me a terrible person? Choosing sleep over adjusting with my husband?
Maybe it would if he didn't change schedules every couple months or so.
And I don't adjust well!
I hate change!
/angst

I'm sitting here (in a wheelchair) (though there's no legitimate need for the wheelchair, we're just short on normal chairs) resting chin in palm and trying to dredge up an interesting story...
I fail at cooking fancy dinners. But mac'n'cheese and ramen are good to go! What a wonderful housewife I'm turning out to be. We discovered this yesterday when I attempted to make a pretty simple recipe if you ask me. I was none too pleased. Threw away most of it.
But I did make some yummy snackage for the Arbonne party I hosted just this evening. That went well. Of course, my mom and sister were the bulk of attendance but what the hey.
My face feels super smooth and moisturized. Mmmmm, sooooft. Mark doesn't have the capacity to appreciate it. Sadness.
Ah! Joy is restored, I remembered something halfway entertaining. I got up a little over an hour ago because I was lying there in bed tossing and turning, wide awake. I knew the more I moved the less Mark would sleep and that was only confirmed by his eerie moaning and sigh-singing and random mumbling in tongues. He never talks in his sleep. Not extended sentences and seemingly coherent attempts to communicate. I swear he lifted his head off his pillow, tilted his face towards me and said,
"Hmmarg ler drendelen smoof?"

I thought maybe he was actually awake and I just misheard him and I debated trying to ask, "What??" but then I figured I'd let him repeat himself and try harder to ask whatever it was he needed if he was really awake. But he remained silent. So I smiled and giggled inwardly and lay there for a time.
And then he startled me by flipping over and talking out loud some more. I paid close attention this time and it was definitely not English coming out of his mouth.
("It's like he's trying to speak to me, I know it!!")
And then he reaches out and pulls me close with his left arm and cradles my forehead with his right hand, awkwardly angled up over my shoulder. It was everything I could do to not shake the bed with silent laughter. In all honesty his warm, heavy arm was comforting wrapped around my torso and I tried once again to sleep but then I started getting those restless itches everywhere and I had to get up. After a moment or two of assessment I determined there was no way of untangling my body without semi-waking the poor fellow so I moved to make it as quick a separation as possible.
But he grabbed on tighter.
I hesitated a moment but pulled away and slipped out and he rolled over, sighing. I hope he's deep in sleep now.

But anyway, I'm a little groggy now so maybe I'll have better luck (I'm also spelling things in quite the bizarre fashion and capitalizing completely random things. Like the previous 'maybe'. I tried to capitalize that.). In any case, back to warm comfy bed with my best friend forever :)

Relative Productivity

I literally (not using the word in its incorrect, slang-ified form, but seriously), literally just sat up off the couch after almost an hour and a half of stalking Jennifer Lawrence interview youtube videos and other Hunger Games business and said to myself [aloud] [cuz I'm all alone and crazy],
"Hmmm...I should do something productive...."

Then I looked up at the dark ceiling, brushed the hair out of my face and pulled the computer back onto my lap and opened up Blogger.
CLOSE ENOUGH.

I wouldn't lie to you guys. My life is super intriguing. In the way like aliens must be baffled by how I'm actually alive and living the way I do. I have a 3-bedroom apartment? I'm married? I have (er, had?) a job that pays BUTTLOADS for me to do what I'm passionate about and um, enjoy doing? And wait, you spend free time feeling your jaw go numb staring at a computer screen but you don't move because....
Isn't that the biggest question? "WHY?"
Summer as a married adult. It's hittin' me at odd angles. But the angles are so much fun!!
Mark and I went on an adventure the last couple days. Mondays and Tuesdays are his days off work so a couple weeks ago I planned a little getaway to the -ahem- "wilderness". Meaning we took the backseat out of our GMC Jimmy and roughed it in Bulldog Canyon. For the first time in my life, we actually remembered to bring all of the essential things that were needed to complete this trip in an enjoyable fashion. Sure it woulda been nice to have camp chairs but where's the fun in that? I tell ya, it's much more fulfilling to trek up the steep side of a prickly mountain/cliff face and find a semi-large rocky boulder thing and fling it back down the hill, hoping and praying it doesn't crack in two and you have to find another chunk of earth to sit on to cook your food. And yeah, I guess "strike anywhere" matches that could actually strike would be beneficial to starting a fire. But then you wouldn't get to watch your husband try to use the truck's cigarette lighter thingy that's so old it doesn't heat up so he tries to rig a wire to get it burning but then he just blows a fuse that um, doesn't exist aka is-not-findable so now the car lights don't work. Nor would he have the opportunity to take the shovel we brought and bang it against all the rocks surrounding the firepit to try and procure enough sparks to ignite the lighter fluid he doused all the phonebook pages with. And finally! We wouldn't have had our eerie night-time drive back up out of the canyon and drive half an hour to borrow real matches and a flicky lighter from people that just happen to live out on bush highway. Which was quite invigorating, I must say.
There was absolutely NO ONE else in the canyon. It was spooky. And we also got lost trying to find where we'd set up camp when we got back. Of course we'd picked some hidden, shoved up in a forgotten well-gladed corner that is unseeable from the dirt/sand road. Why wouldn't you? I mean come on.
All kidding aside, it was the most fun I've had...this month. That's how awesome my life is. We made hot dogs and managed to heat up a can of Great Value chili in the coals without causing it to emulate every science fair volcano ever constructed. Best weiners I ever tasted, lemme just say (my good friend Allie should be snickering right about now).
And the s'mores!! Oh, they were absolutely fabulous. We bought these honey crackers that were already packaged in squares instead of rectangles so you didn't have to end up with a broken fragment of cookie that served no purpose other than leaking sticky gooey marshmallow mess everywhere. And we got the gigantic "campfire" marshmallows and HOLY MOTHER OF YUM they were amazing. Mine was gorgeous and I roasted 2 layers off the mallow before using it in the s'more.
Also I'm pretty sure we created a new family tradition (not that the tradition is necessarily "new" but it's new to OUR family) of taking good ole Jones soda on camping trips. I love being a family :) Family is the best.

Oh! and we obliterated an armchair by tossing it into the pit. Mark videoed it with his phone but I don't have access to that right now so I can't show it to you guys yet. Poo-poo.

That next morning, after we woke up at SIX IN THE BEEPING MORNING because apparently summer is the better season for the sun to be so bright so early (mumblegrumble) we just uh, -coughcough- hung out in the truck for a couple hours, ate breakfast then headed out to Saguaro Lake Ranch where we rented a couple kayaks and had a total BLAST on the river all morning. It was soo beautiful and relaxing and we had loads of fun together. We technically "launched" with a huge group but we didn't have to stay with them. So we didn't. We saw jumping fish, and swimming fish (fish in a river? WHAT?) and wild horses twice! And a heron/stork/crane I don't know which species it is exactly. Last time I went kayaking I saw the bird only once so I thought it was special. This time? 7 different sightings and not just one bird at a time. On either side of the river just chillin', or catchin fish, or leaping out of trees and startling my pants off. Which is legitimate because I wasn't wearing pants. I was wearing a swimsuit. Whatever.
We also saw these really pretty small birds that were all black except for these breathtakingly vibrant red splotches on their wings. OH! and a turtle! There was a turtle the size of Mark's face (he has a large face, mind you) snoozing on a log. No river otters though. /cry
And only a teensy bit of sunburning on both our parts! It was an extremely successful trip and gave Mark the break he needed just in time to deal with this week. He has two of his finals, one tonight and another Thursday. And tomorrow he goes in for work but he got a call today and from 8-9 he finally got another interview for a higher position with GoDaddy! It's this special program they do for employees that want to continue called the "Junior Development" and basically it's on-the-job training for 9 months but you get the inbetween salary of what you're currently paid and what the next salary would be. At the end of the 9 months if you've done well enough (I suppose, I'm not sure exactly how it works) they keep you on and you are promoted to the other job. We're so very excited and I'm confident he'll get it but prayers and well wishes would be much appreciated :)

I'm so very proud of my dear partner and the life we're making for ourselves. I couldn't be happier and I'm grateful to him for being the one to refine me and not letting me get away with being any less than I could be.

And in case anyone still has leftover curiousities and/or confusions from previous posts and people's comments, NO. We are not pregnant. No babies. For now, at least.

I'm gonna have to start a little mini-series for this whole wedding and honeymoon thing. No way could I give it even .003% justice trying to do it all in one post.

So, firstly. Favorite moments on the honeymoon :)

#1

Why, yes. Our car did break down in the middle of the highway only 5 or 6 hours out on the trip. Such lovely times. Actually, the car more of fell apart rather than broke down. We heard a strange "ka-CLUNKka!" sound and the dude driving behind us swerved like a dead body had just catapulted out of our trunk. And so, that warped and twisted piece of metal you see him holding? We discarded that on the side of the road and went on without it. Hah! So lucky that he knows what he's doing with these silly automobiles.

#2

So Mark had done some research as to touristy spots we should visit and he was keeping this one a surprise from me. We headed out and I went berserk with the camera. But when we pulled into the drive for wherever-we-were-going we came upon that stretch of puddle there. The measuring sticky thing said it was a little more than a foot deep. We decided we couldn't chance it :( We ended up checking back with this place 3 times over the next couple days until finally, we just decided to GO FOR IT!
Well, not after I'd gotten out, found a huge long plank of wood (like, taller than me plank) and used it to try to feel out into the puddle to see if it really was that deep. Mark got out too and while we were fiddling around like a pair of sillies these two cars (similar size to us) went barreling through. One was a park ranger car. We stood there for a second feeling stupid but went cheering and running back to the car...
This is what happened;

We were very excited to finally be headed somewhere we both really wanted to go. Mark had eventually told me what it was, when it looked like we maybe couldn't make it.
But we did it! We got to hike through the infamous Fern Canyon. Where you can find herds of elk right off the path...

And many Ferngully moments...

If you've never read (/sigh, or seen) Ferngully then begone with ye! Jk, I still love you. But seriously. Robin Williams is a psychotic fruit bat and it's about saving the rainforest starring teeny tiny pretty fairies. What's not to love?

#3

My dear husband isn't much of one for taking pictures but this here beaut is one I never would have without his help. It makes me laugh each and every time, his little face poking out there in the corner xD

#4

Looks pretty creepy, eh? We thought so, too. In fact, we were just waltzing along amidst the ginormous trees and various foliage when randomly I glanced to my right and saw that gaping mouth of ominous blackness. I pointed it out excitedly to Mark and we had a little 5-year old in a cornfield moment of "OMG we're explorers for realzies now". I wanted to go check it out and see what was inside but the closer I crept to the cave the more timid and safety-conscious Mark got. I eventually let him talk me out of going to see what was inside (alright, I was afraid a monster bear would come out and eat me, too) and we continued along the hiking trail. Turns out, about 3 yards ahead the trail zig-zagged back and goes, you guessed it...

Right in front of the doom cave. We laughed so hard and I teased him the rest of the trip about it. 

#5

Remember that whole "Explorers for Realzies" thing I mentioned? Well we totally are...

 

It was really exciting, not gonna lie. 

and finally, #6

Also on the beach, Mark found himself easily entertained for (I kid you not) probably around 5-6 minutes...

He's a silly one. And that's why I'll keep him around :) Plus many other things such as he's an awesome cooker of breakfast things (which I am not) and he fixes anything and everything and he makes me laugh. And if that's not enough, well the beard is pretty awesome. C'mon, admit it. It is.

Yay for love!! 

Current Thought Process

BLAAAARG.


Head. Aching. Throat...scritchy. Nose. Runny.


Weeeeee, vacuum ALL THE THINGS!! Except only the rug and couch.
Bahaha, that doesn't work on tile. Silly, silly Hopey.


Oh. I'm hungry. Interesting.
SOUP!! :D


Pouring the Cayenne pepper, pour pour pour....oh. That's a lot of cayenne...
It's ok. Garlic salt make things better.


Hehe, internetz funneeeh.


Why so many people text me!? What am I, your friend??


Drink broth. OH WHY DID I INGEST LAVA?! Whyyyy??
That actually feels pretty good. Woot.


Hey, I just ate food today. I can take medicine.


Rummaging. Rummage.
Ooh! NyQuil...I think that stuff's good for my ailment. Sure, lets try it.


Btdubs, people. NyQuil and heavily spiced ramen do not mix well. Think oil and water with a lit match thrown on top. Something of the like. I kinda feel like I can't breath and my head got injected with air from a bicycle tire pump. But I need to go put the wash in the dryer. Does that count as operating heavy machinery? I'm not sure exactly how much I can mess up chucking wet clothes into a hollow piece of metal and spin the dial thingy and press a button. But here we go...

Hahaha! I fell over.
So as you may have surmised, I am feeling a bit under the weather. And how did I get this way? I finally decided to exercise yesterday. Yes, karma has bit me in the butt. I guess. Maybe. That's what I'm blaming it on. I went jogging and did pretty darn well, except for I about lost consciousness and couldn't breathe without feeling like my bottom teeth and tongue were being ripped out of my head. So when my throat starting hurting I thought my awful mouth-breathing to be reasonable cause. But then the headache set in and I wanted to die. My husband thinks it was a migraine caused by the fact that my contact prescription is sorely off now, considering I just steadily seem to become more blind as the days go by. Perhaps. Either way, I made some stellar baked Mac'n'cheese for lunch. And then we ate the mississippi mud I'd baked the night before for a party. But I was late so not many people took a piece. Woot leftovers.
My typing is ridiculous right now. Each sentence takes probably an average of 5 backspaces. And it's not typical little type-o's either. I'm putting spaces in the middle of words and deciding an x would be a more appropriate vowel in a startling amount of cases. At least I can still recognize it and fix it. Or else that would be sxlly.
I actually need to go mop now and do the dishes, so that's all for now. Happy april to all y'all!!

Wants nomz NAOOW

Well, maybe blogger will be more cooperative than facebook. Either my little lappy-toppy just can't handle life in any way, shape or form or the silly photo uploader on good ole FB took a turn for the worst worse there ever was.
I think I broke it and it ate some of my pictures. SAD DAY.

Alrighty! Well I'm married now and as such there are a few stories worth sharing. Fret not, all tales will be kept to a decent PG rating. Probably G. We're just super exciting people.
I'll post pictures and talk about the actual honeymoon later, when I'm not about to rage it up and shove my computer down the garbage disposal because it just. won't. upload. pictures. I just wants to share my memories! Das all!
And so, to recap the timeline of events for lovely 2012 thus far;

• Moved to Chandler with the family.
• Worked on getting Mark moved to apartment #1 in the triplex. 
• Started job at Red Mountain high school.
• Planning, planning, always planning.
• Got super weird sickly diseased (still-don't-know-what-was-wrong).
• Moving Mark back to #3 and getting brother's things O-U-T.
• Accompanied everyone for Regional Auditions (not exactly but basically).
• Got married.
• Spring break honeymoon.
• Yay exaaaams 
• Started another online class
• Cali Choir tour this week.
• CGCC festival and Ren Fest all in one weekend!
• RMHS musical (april 12-14)

I would not begrudge May for coming a little early this year. 

On a much more exciting note, my cute little house is actually looking cute and homey!! This is one of the parts of being married I was so super stoked for. Not to mention I know how this place looked for the past couple years being a "bachelor pad" in all it's glory. Therapeutic scrubbing; saving my sanity. But I just spent the evening moving the table and chairs around, hauling out the awkward-to-carry armchair to try and find a place for that and the bookshelf and playing around with interior decorating.

Btdubs, it's after TEN O'CLOCK and I made dinner at 8:30 and Mark still isn't home from school. Not exactly my favorite thing ever right there. I wants my husband, please and thank you very much! Tour is going to be....a lovely adventure, I believe. We shall see how this goes. Hopefully I don't cry too much *crosses fingers*. And yes, I'm totally okay with admitting that I'm a complete wimp when it comes to being apart from him. I don't have the starch to buck up and deal with the loneliness. 

I'm really hungry. And the spaghetti smells really good. Neighborhood walmart is my best friend right now. It's awesome. Maybe I'll sneak an otter pop. Hmmmm....

OTTERS!! We saw dem on the honeymoon! Except I'm not talking about that yet. Whoops.

Ohhh, too garbled in the brain to do this. Can't...function, need sleep and....Dr. P. Yup. For realzies. 

For Your Health

This is my new go-to song for an instant pick-me-up, go-get-em attitude.

And a huge laugh session.

 I seriously can't stop.

So. You're welcome.

Hey, so no big deal but we got our marriage license certificate thingy this morning. It's whatever. But it was much more of an adventure than I was expecting. I totally thought it would be a place like the DMV where I feel like hundreds of humans are packed into this tiny, inefficiently designed cave and we're all standing/sitting in line to waste away our lives. Kind of like a bleary hospital.

But it wasn't. The building was huge, firstly. Which made it really awkward for me to be driving around aimlessly looking for some small, inconspicuous structure with disproportionately large signage and telling Mark, "yeah maybe you should use your phone GPS..." but he looks at me and points right ahead of us, "Hope, it's right there."

...

"well obviously, I mean my goodness, Mark."

And then I almost missed the parking lot because it was confusing. And then we went inside where there was security. Talk about immediate panic. And what a bumface, Mark knew about it so he didn't wear a belt but he forgot to mention it to me. The girl with the purse that has endless pockets of knick-knacks that set off every alarm ever made and the dude searched through it for seriously 5 minutes and I'm about to start sweating cuz I know my swiss army pocket knife is in there and surely they're going to find it and tackle me and haul me off to jail in some remote corner of Mexico because obviously I'm a terrorist. 

But they just commented on my nail clippers setting the machine off and gave me my purse back. Dude didn't even have the decency to put everything back where it goes. I mean, honestly. Although I'm pretty sure he correctly identified my keychain as a "Firefly" so....he is forgiven. 

In any case, we found the right room and the right paperwork and got it all filled out with only one small hiccup in the form of Mark forgetting his SSN. Hopefully he guessed right. 

And neither of us remembered how exactly to fill out a check. Thank goodness for Google and ingenious phones. But turns out they take credit. Too bad we didn't see the notice hanging on the wall before we took 10 minutes giggling and trying to remember where and if you sign.

The lady was super nice though. Mormon, too. She drew a big heart in fat sharpie on the front of our manila envelope with all the stuffs in it. 

And now only 5 more hours of anticipation before we meet up at the temple to take our "Bridal/Groomal" pictures. Which means Mark is going to see the dress! Which means I should probably go do some crunches and drink 3.4 gallons of water. 

Just kidding on the water. That doesn't make any sense. Yay.

[excitement]

Silly Boy

Sometimes...my fiance's an idiot.
Like the moments where there's 5 minutes before he has to log in for school and he says,
"Are you sure we're mature enough to get married?"
Which is not a new question from him. So I tease,
"You gettin' cold feets on me?!"

And then that awkward moment where he is.
But he actually isn't.
But he makes it seem like he is.
Because he doesn't talk for endless minutes and clarify and explain what he means.
So I get all somber and end up crying cuz he doesn't know how to use his words and just TELL me that all he means is he's worried I'm not going to be up to dealing with him for the rest of my life and he doesn't want me to have to deal with him or be "stuck" with him for the rest of eternity and I start crying even harder and yell at him with my face smooshed into his soggy shoulder,
"You're so stupid! I love you, why are you such a blockhead?!"
Still crying but laughing.

Good times.

I don't even know...

That awkward moment when your best friend dedicates an entire blog post to you, directing her readers to your blog...
and then you go to blog.
"Now I have to be FUNNY??!"
And so I start with one of the most cliche memes out there. Woot rising to the occasion.

So yesterday, the fiance and I finally got to spend some down time together (like 2.5 hours, but that's better than the past week of not seeing and hardly talking to each other at all...sad Hope is sad). And I guess one could say we actually practiced dancing together!
Except it went a lot like this...

You think I'm kidding. We actually referenced that clip and did it to each other. And then I stood on his feet and we wobbled back and forth until I tripped on a shoe and about knocked us both over. If anything, you guys should come to our reception just to see us attempt to dance together and not cause any sort of accident. Should be highly entertaining.
THERE'S NEVER ENOUGH TIME.
I've been wanting to blog for the past couple days, but then today I went to work, went to pick up Mark's suits (he's so sexy in 'em you guys don't even unnerstaaaand!!), had to finish online homework before it's due tonight, answer emails and make calls and clean and plan and gotta get to play rehearsal soon and and and...
Whew! it's like I have a life or something.
Ooh! Ooh! Got my recommend signed last night, so now my mom and I gotta go get me some super special undy-clothings and I'm kinda sorta more excited for this than anything ever in my life of 21 short years.

People are way too kind to me. Thank goodness for friends.

I'm Obnoxious!!

Definition of 'classy': picking stubborn strawberry seeds out of your front teeth with a swiss army pocket knife while in the Mesa Arts Center restroom.
I kinda wish someone [not on staff] had walked in.
I love laughing. And people are pretty cool...sometimes. Showers at the end of the day are amazing but my hair ruins life and won't let me make a habit of it. Waking up with silky tendrils dried into a wacky, distorted mess of kinks and waves that refuse to budge even under the scorching power of the straightener is just not how I want to start all of my days. Call me bonkers.
I had my first bridal meltdown last night. Considering tomorrow will be 10 days till the wedding I say that's pretty reasonable. And for the record, I didn't go all bride-zilla or anything, I just...could not look at one more string of lace or talk about which vase gets the colored sand or what kind of soup we should test next. My sister, mom and I went to Hobby Lobby to buy some white christmas lights (with 40% off coupons! wooo!) and when we got back to the house I handed my mom my bag and [calmly] said, "I'm going to stay out here a couple minutes..." she looked at me weird and asked if I wanted my keys. I said no. They went inside.
And I sobbed for about 15 minutes straight.
I wasn't even sad about anything! Or mad, or upset even. I guess my eyeballs just needed a good rinse, or maybe my brain needed to drain.
I told you guys how I've never been one to sift through my brain and pick out my own distinct opinions. Well, being the bride in your own wedding doesn't allow for much wishy-washy, laidback, carefree behavior. You gotta PICK out all the stuff, even the stuff you didn't even know had any variety to choose from, and not only that but decide how all that stuff is gonna be used; where, how, when. So I guess that was my inner turtle having a belated panic attack temper tantrum.
Glad I'm over it.
My best friend's mother gave me these marvelous, silky soft pajamas from Target for my bachelorette party and I kinda haven't stopped wearing them since. Plus they're actually decent and cute. Unlike wearing my old, dirty sweats and Mark's t-shirt that some mid-sized puppies may as well use as a picnic blanket. Which I will still end up wearing sometimes because I like that, too. But it's nice to not look like a hobo every once in awhile. Basically what I'm saying here is I like to get fancy in my Target pajamas. Which is almost depressing when you put it that way.
Moving on!
I still hear voices constantly in my head...
"Dwarves are very upsetting"
"Little gurgles"
"I never thought I'd be so happy!"
"Children will listen"
"In the first place! Second place?"
"YOU'RE THE ONE TO BLAME, IT'S YOUR FAULT!!"

They start arguing with each other and yelling at me and I feel like if somebody hooked my brain up to any sort of machine they'd be very afraid and lock me up good and quick.
Oh, mama. It's after 11. It's actually 11:11, what luck. I guess the good thing about running myself ragged is I get super exhausted at night and sleep really good. But my dreams are terrible. Woot apocalyptic death.
But I shall go braid my wet hair now and curl up under my new quilt in my lovely PJ's.
Good night to you.

Bleep Bloop

It's gettin' kinda hard to think actual human thoughts around all these lyrics spanning from Rio to Prince of Egypt to Into the Woods. Not into music? We just basically went salsa to ballad to CRAZY-JUNK-NO-ONE-UNDERSTANDS.
Dear Sondheim,
You're a genius. But I hate you.

Exercising is my friend.
There's that period after working out when apparently you should keep moving but only a bit so as to "cool down" and all I really wanna do is collapse face-first into the dry, crusty dirt...but I don't. I walk around in circles trying to inhale as many water molecules as I can. And THEN there's the part that baffles me. I don't sweat much...at all. While that's awesome in that I don't get lovely conspicuous sweatspots/stains, it also means my natural cooling system is dysfunctional. But once I'm done exercising and I sit down (read: flop on the kitchen tile) then all of a sudden I'm all sticky and moist, like a little kids hands with a summer popsicle. It's unpleasant and satisfying at the same time. Cuz then I finally feel like I actually accomplished any fat-burning.
"Sweat is fat crying" well, my fat has some serious emotional blocking issues and I just need it to go to a therapist or something. Let it out, ya darn flab!!
Boo and a half.
I think I made up a salad. It's really good and I keep eating it but when I list the ingredients it doesn't sound like it should taste good....I chop up some romaine and celery and a whole small apple. Toss that with roasted sunflower seeds and bacon bits and then drizzle this "Sweet and Spicy" light dressing on top (courtesy of Wishbone). Mostly, I guess I didn't expect the sauce to taste good with it. But it's kind of excellent. And it gets me away from Ranch, aka the diabolical achilles heel of my existence.
I hate talking on the phone with people. Even if I know 'em well. Making it the pizza guy just throws me into a panic and I end up trying to order rocks with nacho cheese sauce. But at this moment I'm avoiding calling the florist because I'm afraid she's gonna ask what kind of flowers I want and I'll stammer something unintelligible and they'll give me tumbleweeds tied with goat hair.

I'm really antsy. I wanna start moving my stuff into the apartment and I wanna scrub down every INCH of that place now that it has [FINALLY] been cleared out and freed of others' belongings. But silly boy-o is having his bachelor party today, so I can't even talk to the bloke let alone invade the premises. Blarg. Mostly I want to make that apartment into a home. Our home. I wanna fix it all up and keep it tidy (mostly) and cook little dinners. I desperately want to have my go at being a good wifey. And it's just so close! On wednesday I meet with the Stake President (my church official) to finalize my temple recommend. I got my confirmation letter on my appointment to get my endowments for tuesday the 6th a couple nights ago and I teared up and got real close to legit crying because I'm just so excited and happy and glad Mark and I are doing this the way we believe is right. The way I've wanted to get married since I knew what that even meant. Woot for achieving goals.
"woah-woah, when my baby! when my baby smiles at me I go to Rio! de Janeiro!"

Ok. There. I blogged. TA-DAHH!!

Oh yeah, hai

Healthy or not, I've recently discovered that I have no patience for pooping. It takes far too long to be any sort of efficient. Plus it smells. How dumb is that?

Annnnnd welcome back to Hope's blogging world, where subject matter seems to spout from sarcasm, indecency and the least amount of dignity possible.
Speaking of which. BB guns are my new favorite thing. If I were Julie Andrews I'd sing about spaghetti, puppies (both small and wriggling, and old and smelly), rain, mud and BB guns. Those are my favorite things. Along with high heels. And a bajillion other things that keep popping into my brain that I would like to list but there's NEVER ENOUGH TIME. I need the days to be more like 30 hours long, not this silly 24hr nonsense. Who the beep can actually be productive in 24 hours? Cuz I'm sure failing.
Yet here I am blogging. CURSES.
Invitations are dumb. Look, people, just come, ok? Do you really need a sappy, foldy-outy color representation of my fiance and I to feel welcome to our night of celebrating and not-touching-each-other-so-we-don't-explode? I keep going back and forth on that. Some days it feels like, "Nah, we'll be fine. We've gone this long, one more day's not gonna make a difference..." and then I have to kiss him and not let it seep into my brain and suddenly it's more like, "PANIC MODE. How is this gonna work? Separate cars? Monty Python chastity belt? No, I just won't brush my teeth...oh right, pictures...bah."
It's a problem!! Welcome to the life of a virgin dawdling on the precipice of celibacy.
But anyway. It's whatever.
This weekend is my bridal shower. I have to sit there looking all feminine, glowy and refined and answer the same questions over and over, possibly yelling at the older attendees so they feel included and heaven knows what awkwardness will spew from my all too willing mouth. Bridal status just really isn't that great for the turtle-hearted. I like my shell lonely and quiet, thank you. BUT I am actually excited. There will be family and friends I haven't seen in a while, plus I'm super grateful for the opportunity to not have to completely supply the inner workings for a new home. WOOT.
That being said...next weekend is my Bachelorette party (which is gonna ROCK MY FEET OFF thanks to the bestest MOH evar!!) and then the weekend after that I'm hustling like a football player the size of a bison trying to get everything in order for THAT coming weekend...."Impending Nuptials", as I'm calling it. As of right now. And then never again because I'll forget.
Every single weekend until May has something smack dab taking up all the stinking space, it's ridiculous. Goodness gracious.
I can't even type there are so many other things I should be doing. That's it for now.

:P thblhtlphblphtplhblh!!

Seatbelts are my Favorite

It makes me wanna take a back road,

Makes me wanna take the long way home.

Put a little gravel in my travel,

Unwind, unravel all night long.

Makes me wanna grab my honey,

Tear down some two-lane country,

Who knows?

Get lost and

Get right with my soul.

Makes me wanna take--

Makes me wanna take a back road.

You can't tell how steep, bumpity and treacherous that actually is.....

but I was basically dying.

He's all chill, no big deal.

You cannot fathom my sadness.

The mud taunted my very soul!

Welcome to the land of Chubby Cheeks

and Paledom.

Alright so I almost DIED in the middle of that last picture there and I really wish I'd gotten a video of it because for a second there we were basically standing-sitting in the truck, we were tilted so far forward. Had to actually use the "oh-crap" bar. Got a good solid thunk on the hitch, too.

But hey, that was our Sunday :) How was yours?

Wedding Spattergroit

It's like my actual day is experiencing a sugar crash and I'm totally not ready for it. I was barreling through today like a freaking productive monster and all of a sudden there's nothing to do for a couple hours and I'm just stuck. Stuck and restless. And itching to see my honey. But that might just be from a bug bite.

TODAY

• Met with photographer
• Attended "mandatory" orientation for online psych101
• Took specified drugs
• Met with printer people for invitations
• Basically knocked the socks off this wedding planning business.

Although, the picture thing got a little more complicated than I would've liked. We're now kinda forced into doing bridals, which I...want? Yes, and no. Because now I'm all confused and flustered. Because the sun's annoying, trying to have our sealing at 11:15, do family pictures and wedding party pictures at the temple and then get to the reception later that evening was going to involve more driving than anybody ever wants to experience on any wedding day (whether it's your own or not). So that wouldn't work. And no beeping way am I getting up early enough to go do morning pictures at the temple. HAH! So we decided to do bridals February 27th, instead, so we can choose the time of day, get the right lighting, all that technical jazz. But now I gotta rethink all sorts of things and my brain's so scattered today it's proving ridiculously difficult to focus and start at any one specific point. 

And my typing is terrible right now. How frustrating. 

I don't think it helps that I hardly slept last night, ending up just laying in my bed from 6-8am and finally just getting up because I was bored of the ceiling. You can only stare at it for so long. Apparently 2 hours is my limit. 

One thing that's gonna be super nice (and I actually originally wanted in the first place) is we'll be able to get some prints from the bridal shoot and use them at the reception. Yay! But at the same time, now both he and I have to look like we're ready to get married almost two weeks in advance. I only worry about that because I haven't even given half a seconds thought as to what the heck he's gonna be wearing. And do I get him his ring before then, so he can wear it in that photoshoot?? And what in the world am I going to do with my own head? I just wasn't expecting to have these decisions thrown at me so soon. They were there in the back of my mind. But now my brain wants to scoot into 'panic mode' and freak out. Though there's no real reason to. There's still....[gulp] 5 weeks till then. 

HOLY PIGEON TOES.

I'm getting married exactly 7 weeks from today. Ack! That's less than 50 days!! 

Ohhhh, lordy I really need to get crackin' on organizing all the addresses. Maybe I'm not as on top of things as I was thinking.....

I'm just sooooo, so, so, so glad that at the end of all this I get to stay at home with my brand, spankin' new hubby and cook him dinners and clean our little baby apartment like a good little wifey. I really am having fun with all the planning, sitting on the couch with my mom at the end of the day and making a new list of all the things we still need to work out. The making decisions part of it is still a little weird to me and there's an element of anxiety to it all because....well, my opinions aren't exactly rock-solid so I worry they'll change at any moment and there's really not much time left for indecisiveness. But it truly is comforting that when March 11th comes and all is said and done I can just hug my husband and know we're sealed for eternity and everything is always going to work out because we love each other and that's what you do!

I just gotta figure out who I can ask to help me with my hair and makeup for the bridals cuz, well I'd kinda like to look nice for those. I dunno, it's whatever. 

WEDDINGS!! blealhgaltrlejgoiut. thlghlthplghlthp. Whew!

It's ok. 

You're allowed to love us.

I do, too.

No Can Has

There's this little thing called 'health'. At the moment (and the past four and a half weeks), it has done a splendid job of avoiding me. And while it is annoying, I'm not bedridden or stuck in a hospital and I have never been more grateful for that fact. Now would just not be the time, thanks but no thanks. Thank goodness for doctors, and medicine and priesthood and orange juice.

Back in the middle of december I started getting these headaches. That's one more thing I have to be extremely grateful for; throughout my life I've been blessed with scarcely few headaches. It just doesn't happen very often. Hallelujah. So it was weird when that area right behind my eyes would ache and I couldn't concentrate on anything for too long before my vision would go all skewonky and crosseyed and just totally unable to focus. It was strange that the blood roared through my brain like crashing waves through a small hole in the reef. I took some advil (by the forceful hand of my fiancee), drank some caffeine, tried your every average remedy for that terrible brain-clenching pain. But it wouldn't budge. Soon, right after Christmastime, I began to notice that every single time I swallowed, my ears would crackle and pop like I was suddenly on some long road trip that required changing elevation every five minutes (And unfortunately, I am truly not exaggerating....at all). I felt pressure on my sinuses. I hoped it would go away.
Alas, it did not.
I became lethargic; in energy and in personality. Sadly, my poor fiancee received the brunt of this particular side effect and it took quite a toll on his patience. I was stubborn and did not want to require someone else (i.e. my parents, or Mark) to spend oodles of money to get some silly advice from a silly doctor on some silly headache issue. I have a hard time giving my own health serious contemplation or credulity.
Eventually, I was sleeping worse than my usual tossing and turning and the dark circles under my eyes (often mistaken for good ol' whoppin' shiners) began to appear as if I'd gone in and had permanent makeup applied in a very inconvenient location. I basically looked like a dolled up zombie. I have never seen such a vibrant shade of bluish-purple adorning my undereyes. The headache was my constant companion. My ears popped at the slightest incline of my head, audible even to someone standing within talking distance.
I finally agreed to have Mark's dad take a look in my ears and try some home remedies. He used his nifty little ear scope thingy, noticed some white and black "fun stuff" in my ear canal and suggested we try warm tea tree oil.
So we did.
We also put hydrogen peroxide down my ears.
Have you ever done that?
IT TICKLES LIKE THE BLOODY DICKENS, I TELL YOU.
I realize I just had a terrible British potty mouth, but please pardon my french.
I had a real hard time laying still. It didn't hurt or anything, not during the treatment anyway. But it wasn't seeming to help any.
About January 10th, I finally alerted my parents to my predicament and my dad pulled out some old ear drops he'd kept in the medicine cabinet and I started putting those in every 4 hours. And whaddya know! It started to hurt less! I was taking benadryl at the same time and could definitely feel it when the drugs wore off. But I figured I was getting better if it was beginning to hurt less.
Turns out those eardrops? Not only are they an antibiotic but they're also a painkiller. WELL POOP. My life is now a lie. Totally not getting better.
After an exceedingly tearful, and yet remarkably healing (emotionally, that is), conversation with Mark I conceded to forego my inhibitions and see a doctor. And so! Today, my mom and I went to the "doc in a box" aka the minute clinic at CVS and he scolded me for a bit on putting hydrogen peroxide in my ears and alerted me to the fact that it's illegal to partake of someone else's prescription (which makes total sense now that I think about it....baha). He looked in my ears and without any hesitation proclaimed, "I can't treat you here." He diagnosed some sort of "fungal infection" which just sounds SUPER lovely, and referred us to a few different medical offices.
My mom ended up taking me to my grandmother's doctor (an old people doctor, I felt quite silly sitting in that lobby) and he caught onto the fact that the white "fun stuff" in my ears were actually just scars left from when I had tubes put in my ears as a baby. Oh, goody. So it's not an outer ear infection.
According to this doctor, I've got a case of "eustachian tube dysfunction" which makes me feel like he's calling me a less-than-satisfactory crustacean but apparently to fix that all I gotta do.....

....is take some steroids.
Um.
WOOHOO.
or actually I guess it's called Cortazon and Sudafed (they're drugs, screw spelling).
Anyway, if this doesn't fix it within a week I gotta go see a eyes/nose/throat specialist. STOKED.
[ahem-hem...sarcasm]

I'm just glad I'm not dying. Which is awesome. YAY FOR LIVING!!

To Be or Not To Be....

Appreciated.

Or "appreciation; recognition of the quality, value, significance, or magnitude of people and/or things," if you will.
Sometimes...you just want a little bit more of it. But isn't that quite a bit of a conundrum? You want to be appreciated for the things you do or say, the effort you put forth into some act of some sort. To be recognized for your doings. By whom, it matters not.

[ps, when I say 'you' I basically mean 'I'

I really have no insight on your own personal

status of 'appreciatedness']

Maybe it's your parents, your siblings, extended family, friends, old high school bullies or that one person who's opinion you can't shrug off as 'unimportant'. 

Maybe they asked you to do something for them; a favor, perhaps. And maybe it just so happens, that favor was particularly difficult for you to maneuver and work through. It took great love and respect and willpower. Is it terribly wrong to wish just a smidge of appreciation in return? I suppose. That makes your act of love, respect, willpower...suddenly about you. It's no longer what you did for that person, but what you did for them so they would esteem you higher. Were you even doing it for them in the first place? 

[I'm heating up some soup in a glass mug

in the microwave.

Our microwave looks like it came from 

Dr. Brown's own laboratory and currently

it is making some very peculiar noises.

....I'm hiding in the next room whilst it 

sings in ominous cacophony]

Or was it just your own buried machinations coming to life, hoping to build up some admirable quality of selflessness that doesn't truly exist? 

When and where does service become self-serving? Anytime and everywhere, I would guess. Tricky thing is, not thinking of yourself during the act. SO I guess I'm covered.....and just a little peeved for not even being thanked. <mumblegrumble>

There's something stupendously comforting in drinking hot soup/stew out of a mug. As well as exceedingly more convenient in situations that require hands (such as typing). 

Life is certainly a funny (as in odd, not comical) thing.

Also, in case you, my dear reader, are in search or need of a splendid "pick-me-up" I would suggest spending the evening in the company of gentlemen such as Misters Holmes and Watson as well as catching up with the ever elusive Sir Percy Blakeney, finishing off with a good bout with the piano (although curiously missing certain garments such as pants) and, aforementioned, delightful stew....as I have done. Does wonders for the spirit, I assure you.

:P

Filler Post of Filldom

Ohhh, my blogging. You have suffered greatly. Results of moving, wedding planning, work and a lack of internet access (due to moving). Awesome.
So uh, New Years was cool. Woot 2012. Bring on December 21st.
I really have nothing going on, or much to say. I just need to get back in the habit of telling everything to the internet.

DAY SIXTY THREE:

coming to a close :)